Jump to content

All Activity

This stream auto-updates

  1. Today
  2. Thanks for your response, and sorry mine took a while I've been struggling alot with my Pure O. I understand what you mean regarding your post, but when an intrusive thoughts cuts in part way through a normal train of thought and shapes it into an innacurate narritive sometimes I feel only awarness of the innacuracy through understanding is what keep me safe. Either way I still find myself further confused with the method to take, I understand cbt involves a process but the method of which ultimately seems to involve a person trying not to engage with a thought, couldn't this be misconstrude by the brain as the thought being something that therfore that ultimately needs avoiding, of which naturally a person will assign fear on the incoming thought as it arises due to the fact that we are ultimately trying to deminish it in time and so in a way we are still telling ourselves the notion that such a thought coming in is not good and is part of a problem and because of this it will be subconcously hard to accept as part of the acceptance part of the method. Ultimatly the aim of the technique is almost risistive in nature, I know I am probably still missing something but the technique seems extreamly hard to adopt and really hard to apply to each individual. Also when I have an intrusive thought that comes in for a second of two it feels like an absolute truth and therfore fear and anxiety proceed, I sometimes use quick rational to say it is stupid as I worry that the content if left unanswered or un-rationalised over a long amount of time maybe become a believed narritive. sorry for the barrage of questions I am in a talk therapy but as you can see Cbt/Erp for me atleast throws up more questions than it does answers to my problem.
  3. Hello Gingham, I just wanted to say that what you say about the loneliness, feelings of worthlessness, no friends, no support etc... I can absolutely identify with, 100%. For me these feelings are as, if not at times 'more,' crippling than the OCD, so I often focus more on my issues to do with chronic emptiness and complete absence of any self worth. I saw your post and really felt for you so I just wanted to let you know that I don't think for one moment that it's 'self absorbed' whatsoever... your hurting after all, and that you are not alone in what you describe here. I often wish mental health advice pieces online would sometimes acknowledge that not everybody has 'a support network' or a 'understanding and supportive family' rallying around after them, as this seems to be the defacto statement in many of them, apart from being annoying, it's really depressing as well. Hope you can stay strong and get through this, honestly your not the only one feeling the way you do.
  4. I had a cheap one that cost about £30. It was basically a hard drive fan in the middle of HEPA filter. It went to the charity shop quick smart. I now have a Meaco dehumidifier to dry my washing but it’s an air purifier too… I think they do dedicated air purifier’s only which may be good. You could research it… read the reviews… etc Yeah mine is like a jet engine lol but I don’t leave it on past 11pm. I sympathise, I always shut the window if a neighbour is having a bonfire, barbecue, etc I don’t like it too.
  5. Yesterday
  6. I get it. I’m just scared that at the end of it all, i will be proven to be a monster. I know it’s irrational.
  7. What malina said. That's why it's a leap of faith. You're just going to assume it's true and get on with it.
  8. Hey Summer, I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been going through. You have honestly been through so much, more than many, many people will ever go through (I'm not just saying that) and yet you're so positive and work so hard to get better and improve your life. I believe in you and I truly hope you succeed. Honestly, having healthy boundaries is so important. You may love your family but you have to take care of yourself. And if you feel guilty, just remember that you can't be there for others if you're falling apart as well. One of my new years resolutions this year was to start setting healthy boundaries in all areas of my life and so I think it's extremely important. Respect yourself and your own wellbeing. Take care Summer, you've got this!
  9. That is because you're misunderstanding the idea of taking a leap of faith. You don't do it because you're COMPLETELY confident that it's OCD. On the contrary, you do it in spite of not being completely confident. You have all your doubts and fears and you say F it and give it a try anyway. That is taking a leap of faith. It depends on what your definition of getting better is. You may always have OCD, many of us do, but getting better means learning not to let it have its grip on you and living your life. Maybe you have relapses, but you deal with them. You should have a flexible view of recovery, it may not always go smoothly but that doesn't mean that you won't get there and have a happy life.
  10. Thank you everybody for your advice, it really does help and I have been a lot better over the past couple of days. I have been looking after myself a lot more, I decided to go to my local spa on my own on Sunday! it was so lovely and actually made me appreciate me time a lot more, i done some swimming on my own and went in the steam room and sauna, i then had a massage which was lovely and really helped with my stress levels quite a lot actually. I’m trying to slowly distance myself from things that are causing me most stress, I haven’t seen my dad this week due to his alcoholism becoming to much for me on top of my own struggles. He came round today to apologise and left for the last bus home, an hour later he’s ringing the doorbell drunk on straight vodka I had to call my Nan to pick him up. It’s tough but I just can’t handle it anymore as bad as that sounds, I’ve become the parent and I need to remember I ain’t and it’s not my responsibility- and my OCD loves responsibility. I’ve also started staying round my partners house more frequently which has been a big achievement. I used to be to scared to stray away from home due to my harm OCD and stay anywhere else, but I’ve started to now and it feels great. I feel a lot more independent too and just free.
  11. Getting to that point is difficult. I don’t think you ever really reach a point where it clicks. It’s more just each day you trust yourself a little more. Don’t be too harsh on yourself for not having that eureka moment yet. It’ll come
  12. I am struggling with COMPLETELY feeling confident enough that this is OCD and not just me. I fluctuate between worrying about my theme and the compulsions (mental scenarios to test myself); stopping the checking; worrying that it’s true and my brain telling me that I’m a fraud and shouldn’t stop checking because what if my incest thoughts (or whatever the thought is) is true? Deep down I’m also scared that I’ll do all the right things to get better, but that I won’t get better, which will in turn prove that it’s all true. It basically just boils down to me not trusting myself enough to take the leap of faith and stop the compulsions. I don’t know what to do to get to the point.
  13. Hi Gingham, that must be a horrible feeling. Sometimes people are just busy, they may appreciate you reaching out though. Hope you can turn it around soon.
  14. …but I am having a really bad few days. I’ve been better at challenging the repetitive behaviours lately but the last few days I have been up and down the stairs, checking, tapping, stepping and counting all day long. I feel like everything has gone back to square one. i don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like I can’t carry on. My life is worthless. I have no friends, my career and job prospects are beyond salvaging. The only people I speak with are my private therapist and my parents (by speak to, I don’t mean therapeutically…literally they are the only people who I have any contact with). l keep looking at my phone, wondering if anyone even remembers I exist. I don’t think they do. I can’t keep randomly messaging people when they’ve already ignored me a few times. Sorry to sound so self absorbed and ‘woe is me’. I’m just at the end of my tether & feel so alone. Thanks for listening xxx
  15. I’ve been a worrier all my life, even as child I remember going through periods of constant worry. As well as perfectionism, I’ve always struggled with things not being perfect. I’ve been treated for anxiety in the past by medication (20mg Citalopram) which seemed to take the edge off but I came off those back in September when we decided to start trying for a baby. I’ve been hit like a bus with constant intrusive thoughts about my relationship when less than two weeks ago, I was so happy and excited but I can’t seem to let it go. I’ve been reading up a lot on OCD and I can really relate to a lot of it. More so the mental compulsions - I’m guilty of ruminating and trying to soothe myself by playing out every future scenario that’s worrying me, googling and searching Reddit for people with similar experiences and I’ll keep searching until I find an answer I want to hear. I also seek reassurance a lot, recently something happened and I told everyone I knew to make sure it wasn’t me that had done wrong. I also struggle with fears of people breaking into my house, leaving curlers/appliances plugged in and starting a fire. I also get worried that I’ve not locked my front door every time I leave - in the past I’ve had to walk back home to double check - now I just tell my ring door bell ‘door locked’ so I can go back and check if I start to worry and I’ll take pictures of my hair tools and plug sockets to remind myself they’re off. Another thing I’ve always struggled with is replaying conversations after speaking to someone and constantly worrying that I’ve said something wrong or offensive - I can do this for hours after an event or even the next day. I’m not sure if this is just social anxiety though. I know no one on here can ‘diagnose’ me but it feels cathartic (for at least temporary relief) just to type this out to people who may understand how I feel. How did you get your diagnosis? If you think this could be ocd or if it’s just generalised anxiety disorder? What tools do you use to help you manage? Do you take medication long term? Thank you. Sorry this is so long and there’s so many questions.
  16. Thank you @malina that makes a lot of sense. Best of luck to you too
  17. Yeah in total £250 as I had to get someone out today. The guy put a weathered slab down still never matched luckily I said wait a minute I asked for one from my back garden. So he done and it’s a good match all be it some white and green marks from the weathering and cutting of slab. The slab is same type so it’s a match. Maybe just looks like I’ve had garden work done as often they leave scapes at front. It’s funny as someone with ocd you would think a brand new slab or jet wash was better. But what it is we are open plan here so nobody has jet washed and 2 people have driveway. So my option blends in better. I think it’s better than spending thousands as a few days ago I seen no other option. The new replacement isn’t perfect but hopefully it’s better he even fixed my drains area. I feel confident that it’s a better solution than leaving it damaged or a replacement which stands out like crazy.
  18. Sometimes it is difficult dealing with neighbours. I used to live in a flat where the owners/residents jointly owned the freehold. The constant hassle with dealing with one person and her family who owned one flat really impacted on my OCD. She was gifted the flat by her father who owned a portfolio of flats and he had got very rich from capital appreciation and the receipt of rents. Sometimes people are not reasonable and enjoy playing power games. I can only suggest a strategy that will only succeed in the longer term. Aim to change the local authority policy. I had to engage with the problem neighbour as she and I were the only owner occupiers in the building. The other flats were sublet at high rents. I had to ensure that payments for maintenance and insurance were maintained and arranged as well as communal maintenance and security were maintained, as I wanted to sell. The hassle of getting money from her! And the mess she created in communal areas. I was the only one who was willing to communicate with her. I was piggy in the middle. I lost a lot of money when selling, as the communal areas were not pristine enough to get maximum value. The absentee landlords of the other flats knew that I would carry the load. Especially as they weren’t concerned with security such as the main front door and the need to periodically repair and change locks. Bit of a rant. Sorry. But could you get support from the rest of your neighbours?
  19. He did yes. And any feelings in my mouth as a whole doesn’t mean it’s because of the crack in the tooth causing major problems with everything with the tooth either. If it hurts or feels worse I can make a dental appointment but it isn’t even a serious deal
  20. I have had just this experience with my room. The only difference is with me the fear is toxic chemicals rather than bacteria. From the perspective of outside such an episode I can say that I have found it always passes eventually if you carry on as normal, though it can take a week or more for the anxiety to subside. It's really frightening while it's happening though. You start to think you'll never be able to feel okay anywhere ever again, but it's not true.
  21. No it’s my fault, I posted the same thing on two different threads. Thanks so much for replying.
  22. We tried writing to the council about it a few months ago. They had me keep a record of when there was smoke, and someone came out to look at the chimneys. Apparently there are no special controls on chimneys in this area (I don't know why, surely burning unsuitable fuel produces the same sort of smoke whatever part of the country you're in?). It could be a statutory nuisance but the woman I spoke to thought it was unlikely to qualify. In the end we decided they should send an advisory letter. Afterwards the smoke stopped entirely and for a few weeks I thought the problem was solved, but gradually it got worse again. Now it's almost as bad as before. I don't know whether to write to the council again or try to put up with it. I don't really want to engage with it since it feeds into my OCD, but on the other hand it's genuinely unpleasant and unhealthy living in a smoky atmosphere. I have an air purifier too but it doesn't get rid of the disturbing smell, even if I turn it up to full power so it sounds like a jet engine. Ugh, I can smell it now.
  23. I am in the same situation with my 21 year old son. He has had OCD (Undiagnosed) for 3 years now and refuse to acknowledge that he has it, let alone getting help either counselling/CBT or medication. He can spend ages washing his hands and cleaning his computer desk in his bedroom and sometimes spend 2 hours in the shower. The OCD has got so bad that he has got physical abusive with me from not giving him cleaning products and i have had to call the police on 6 occasions. The only way out of this circle of refusing help i think is to call 999 and ask for hospital help. Unfortunately i have spoken to the doctors and they don't seem to care, despite the fact I've told them that my son is a danger to myself and other people.
  24. Daja is right and the rules vary from council to council with rules on the design and upkeep of chimneys and the sort of things that you can burn. Smoke is a very political issue there is a party divide in my area about it regarding not only chimneys but also bonfires. The rise of speed limits and low emission policies in various parts of the country to restrict pollution are also courses of contention. In the past when coal was the predominant fuel we had thick fogs. Before we had regulation of pollution and the factory acts (precursor of Health and Safety Acts) the average age of death in Manchester was 19.
  1. Load more activity
×
×
  • Create New...