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About Ashley

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    East Sussex

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
  1. Yes you would, OCD would find an excuse to say 'what if?'....with OCD, once is never enough. I have been there, I was that person and I used to pretend one quick simple hand wash would be ok, but OCD would never let it be ok and one hand wash would become two hand washes and soon 10 minutes of hand washing and so on. Over time I understood this (which did not make it any easier to resist) but time and little exercises showed me I could resist until the day I was able to confront my OCD and do exercises like use the toilet and then make a sandwich, to putting my hands in toilet water and eating food (without washing my hands). It all takes time to get to that point, but the first step is accepting that 'one hand wash' is just as bad as '100 hand washes' if you are doing it for an OCD reason.
  2. Ok so let's test that theory out with a nice intrusive thoughts. Lets both you and me think that we 'will win big on the lottery tomorrow'. Yes there is a 0.01% chance that may happen, but there is a 99.99% chance it wont. So your therapist really is wrong with that piece of advice. The problem with OCD is that it often takes the small risk and make it a big risk in our minds, when it really isn't. Just because you had an intrusive thought and you 'accidently' hit the dog does not mean it is was on purpose at all. Try and move on from this, and if it makes you feel better really pamper the dog this weekend. Ashley
  3. Fair enough. Generally the problem with OCD is that often it can convince us black is white and white is black such are the 'feelings' of the doubt it creates.
  4. Hi, Probably a stupid comment on my part, but try not to worry. Ok, first question are you receiving therapy for your OCD at the moment? Look, accidents happen, and I accidently did something similar one of the dogs here the other day when she moved forward as I moved in with my hand and doggy biscuit and she got bit of a whack on the snozzel. Sure, maybe your dog will be wary for a day or two, but unless you make this a regular occurrence I don't think the dog (like any human) would perceive you to be a threat based off one accident. Out of interest what compulsions have you engaged in with your various obsessive fears? This is the irony with OCD that no matter what efforts we go to with our compulsions to prevent bad things happening, the fact is we can not totally prevent those things and on occasions those fears will happen. The person afraid of HIV will walk past and step on a needle. The person with a fear of sexually hurting children will brush past a child. The person afraid of toilets... i.e. me at one time will have the 'feeling' they need to go when miles from home. At the time those scenarios are horrible and scary, much like you are feeling now but with the right support and time those feelings pass and in time we can learn to use those as opportunities to confront our OCD to see that nothing bad happens. Try and see this for what it was, an accident that will pass and something that OCD is making out to be more than that. I am not sure how helpful this question is based off the original post and the fact we are talking about OCD! The original poster will be already convincing themselves this was deliberate (when reality is very different).
  5. Neither... Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT should include aspects of ERP too) is the only treatment we recommend for OCD.
  6. That's what the forum is for.... the forum is your OCD Support Partner so please do feel free to post. I am afraid for the well-being and welfare of other users we don't encourage or allow individual forum partners, we encourage all communication to take place on the forum.
  7. Hi, I think your problem is a great example of why the ROCD/HOCD acronyms are completely unhelpful. Without a shadow of doubt from what you have written we can identify that your obsessions about your partner is OCD fuelled.... so I don't think the type of OCD is important, other than knowing your obsessions are OCD. That in itself I think can be helpful to try and remember. Would it help for now to put the issue of you being straight/gay/bi to one side and focus on the individual (if OCD will let you) and focus on the fact you are with a partner you like, fancy, enjoy being with (when OCD is not biting). So simply focus on the individual and the positives that being with him brings rather than the flavour of the relationship? Sorry I don't know where you are, are you seeing or have you seen a therapist in the past for OCD? Ashley
  8. With respect, I don't think you can exclude discussion about if they or you are racist or not if you are saying this is interweaved with your problem, which I assume you are saying is part of an OCD diagnosis? If you believe this is OCD, then you just need a mental health professional with experience in treating OCD (i.e. with CBT therapy), if you're in the UK then through the NHS you would be referred to a generic therapy team.
  9. If you think like that then I don't think anyone else will want to date you. So my advice is try and let you, your personality sell you. Everybody's got issues of some kind, try and let your perspective partner meet you and get to know you, not your mental health problems.
  10. Not sure I agree. Obviously getting obsessive over dating is not helpful, but if someone with OCD was to meet and fall for someone then good for them, and there is no reason you can't date and fight OCD concurrently. Now admittedly I have not achieved it, but that's more to do with that fact that I am unlovable
  11. Ok, let me ask you this. If someone suggested a friend or a loved one was not worthy of living, how would you respond? What advantage do you think confessing would bring to you or them? It's important you take time to understand what OCD is and how it works and how confessing (a form of reassurance) is part of the OCD cycle. So the problem is not that you did abuse the situation (theory A) is it not that you 'feel' you 'might' have abused the situation? If you understand that, it brings me back to the previous question what benefit is there from confessing? Ashley.
  12. Hiya, It is possible to do CBT alone without medication for sure, but the question should be would she be benefitted by medication alongside the CBT. Meds alone don't treat the OCD, but they can be helpful in some anxiety dampening for example. I personally was not getting too upset or depressed by my OCD so I chose not to go down the med route. However, for those struggling each day then adding meds alongside therapy may be beneficial. Meds are an individual thing, some will find they help others find they simply offer nothing but side-effects so it really does need to be an individual choice. If she takes meds it needs to be for the right reason, but that works both ways, if she chooses not to take meds it needs to be for the right reason. Improving diet and sleep may help the anxiety, but may not. Bad diet and bad sleep will make anxiety worse for sure. Perhaps she should try meditation or something to help her relax and help her sleep better. If she chooses to give CBT a try first then that's fine, if she is prepared to add meds later if she finds the CBT is too hard to engage with on its own. I hear this a lot, and I understand the concern but my advice to her is this.... get better from OCD, be that NHS or private and worry about other 'issues' later if and when they become a problem. Don't let the fear of an unlikely issue prevent her seeking NHS treatment if she needs to. Ashley
  13. Hi, I have merged this post today with the original which appears to be the same? Did you post today in error? Ashley
  14. Case in point, you are now trying to suggest I was more fun and interesting when my OCD was stronger. Do you not see why people think you are a troll? I don't believe you are, I think you are just misguided and badly informed about OCD, which is perhaps worse in some respects. So prove them and me wrong, become a really good, helpful and interesting contributor to our community. The ball's in your court.
  15. One of my team have made your last post invisible where you claimed to not be breaching rules, but lets be clear about this your posts are constantly spouting unhelpful rubbish and I have no choice but to act. People with OCD dating is perfectly fine, love makes the world go round and all that. Most of the dating sites for people with OCD I have seen do not exist, they are franchised dating sites with an OCD homepage, the database is a generic dating site. Now you are suggesting going for a walk with a cute puppy will solve dating and OCD issues. So consider this notice, in my book constant spouting of utter tripe is breaching forum rules, and at some point I will say enough is enough, and that may actually be today!