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OCD-UK Member
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About SaraJane

  • Birthday 10/06/74

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Various types but mostly Scrupulosity

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    North Yorkshire, England
  • Interests
    Crafts especially crochet, baking, reading,rock music and metal, walks in the countryside and eating chocolate.

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. Well done Scorpio. You've taken a massive step talking to the doctor. Two weeks is a good amount of time to start taking the medication in and hopefully you will be starting to feel some benefit from the meds by then. Has the GP suggested CBT at all?
  2. Glad you posted an update Scorpio and I hope that this is a turning point for you in getting some support. I was given meds initially and then referred for other support. Do you think you will be able to take meds if they suggest them? Sometimes they can make a big difference whilst all the other things such as counselling or CBT are put in place. It may also be helpful to look for additional sources of support (as you are doing posting here) and things that may help as you go through this. I used to call The Samaritans at my lowest just to talk to someone but I also found writing helpful. I still write now and one of the main things I do is brainstorm things that may help in a given situation because it can be hard to think of those things again on other tough days. Please keep posting updates and I hope the GP appointment works out to provide the best support for you.
  3. Been thinking about this quite a bit recently and thought it might be helpful if we share the things that help to keep us going in the battle against the ocd and the depression that can accompany it - especially on those tougher days. For myself a main inspiration was watching a 6 year old fight back at ocd and win. On a really tough day a walk outdoors in woodlands can make a massive difference to my ability to cope even if I am very low and having a very bad day. So what helps us, inspires us and gives us that extra something that enables us to keep going? Sara
  4. I know this must be very frightening for you. I've been there - had severe post-natal depression as well as the ocd as a single-parent requiring attendance at a mental health day hospital. I was told I had to stop breast feeding to take my meds or I would be hospitalised as an in-patient but in all of that no-one ever took a single step towards taking my two children away. I got a lot of much needed support though, counselling and a place to go to (the day hospital) with my baby until I was well enough to leave. The health visitor was fantastic. It really does seem very scary at the time but hopefully out of this you will get the support you need. Really glad you are posting here and if you can please post an update.
  5. Thank you all for your encouragement and thoughts - it really helps to know that this is a usual way for ocd to operate and that there is still hope for beating it despite the way ocd changes. Snowbear - shape-changer is a fabulous way to describe it and it will help to have a better way to explain it when I see my therapist this week. Sara
  6. Wow - some amazing achievements here. Well done to all. I've been more sociable and now we've moved house I've started going out to the shops and into the community without having my hubby by my side. I managed to get a train to stay with a friend and we got to the York conference. Mostly though it is the little achievements everyday that make the biggest difference - each minute more where a compulsion is not done and it all adds up or sitting on a public loo seat only to find it wet with some unknown something and not applying a mass of anti-bac hand gel to it. I feel positive about this year ahead and plan to keep moving on taking more and more steps against this illness and my other anxieties. Sara
  7. Hi there, I've been having High Intensity CBT for a while now and have a good therapist. I do plan to ask him about this too. I have quite a few different types of ocd which can make tackling them quite a challenge. For some time now I've become aware that ocd seems to change shape as you tackle it. I'm finding if I am succeeding at beating it in one way it seems to tweak itself and present itself slightly differently so I have to constantly adapt myself to fighting it. It's a bit like a manipulative person when they don't succeed at conquering you one way they re-word things and try something else until you are back under their control. I am finding this frustrating because it feels like the goal posts keep moving and almost as if the ocd has some sentience of its own. It really does seem like the ocd is self-aware and is doing everything it can to stay alive. Does anyone have any experience of this? If I continue with the CBT (which I def plan to do and I am determined to keep fighting the ocd) does this constant tweaking of the ocd eventually stop or settle down? I am looking out for covert compulsions and am trying to make sure that I am aware of any new compulsions that may come in as I ditch the older ones but am finding the ocd still changes its presentation as I fight it. I'd appreciate any thoughts or experience anyone can share about this. Thank you, Sara
  8. Scorpio - I am so sorry to hear how tough it has been and about your Mum. I think it is amazing that you are not avoiding things and you are fighting the ocd throughout all of this - that is fantastic and I want to encourage you that you are doing incredibly well in the face of so much. I hope your little one starts to sleep better soon so you can get more sleep. It may be worth seeking out some additional support too just to get a break or have an extra outlet if you can - I know that isn't always easy to find but it can help.
  9. Cold Turkey

    I've done this before with scrupulosity and it was really tough but it did make a massive difference and I would say if you can manage it then it is a good approach. I got to 3 years at one stage without performing my main compulsion - sadly I found I only needed to succumb once to it even after all that time and the cycle started again and I am currently having CBT. I think it would have been more beneficial if I had managed to go cold turkey with all of my compulsions rather than just the one because ocd will grab hold of whatever it can to grow back into dominance. I did have support through it though which made a massive difference especially at night so it is def worth looking at how you can get some support through those first few days/weeks of cold turkey. The initial part was worst and that lasted 3 weeks and that is when I needed the most support. I think there may be one advantage here to the gradual approach over cold turkey though (especially if done through CBT and with a therapist) which is that it gives you the skills and knowledge long term about how to prevent the ocd coming back - I suspect if I had combined the cold turkey with more knowledge of how to beat ocd through CBT then I would have had better skills in preventing the illness from growing back so much. I'd encourage you to read around ocd and CBT if you haven't already done so. I hope it goes well.
  10. Yes I find tiredness makes the intrusive thoughts worse and harder to manage. It's exhausting with a baby up at nights and with all the extra work having a little one creates - it's understandable to find it tougher at the moment. I agree with Gemma about resting when you can. When our youngest was three weeks old my hubby started Uni and I found the ocd and anxiety alongside the exhaustion and responsibility very tough. We found that just a few everyday tweaks took some of the pressure off - it was still tough but it did help. Little things like buying tealights to help light the open fires or playing games when my daughter slept just to distract myself from the anxiety or investing in jars of baby food rather than making my own - it's worth looking out for those things that may ease a little of the pressure for you. We also invested in one of those night lights that sing lullabies and eventually that helped to create a sleep cue in our daughter as well as for me - I found it really soothing . I hope too you can get some sleep soon.
  11. It's great and encouraging to hear there are work places that do this and that you were encouraged towards CBT.
  12. Hi Tricia, Thank you for replying and I hope this week is less stressful for you. I didn't think you were being critical of anyone who is overweight and I understand and appreciate the message you are communicating about healthy eating and vitamin D. I hope you can establish the boundaries you need with people and they will respect them. I read a fab book book on boundaries once by a couple of Psychologists called Cloud and Thompson if I remember their names correctly. It is a Christian book but people have found it helpful even if they are not Christians because the psychology within it is sound. It was one of those reads that was life-changing for me and it maybe worth a look. lots of love xx
  13. Hi Tricia - thank you for replying. Yes I do know as the consultant started out from a standpoint of tackling my difficulties as probably being caused by vitamin D as my levels were undetectable in a blood test. Mega doses later and on a long term prescribed daily supplement unfortunately I am still in pain and suffer with fatigue and fog. It was only after the low vitamin D was resolved, other issues ruled out through blood tests and some time had passed that I was finally given the fibro diagnosis. It's encouraging to know that there are consultants who are vitamin D aware and rule this possibility out first along with ruling out thyroid and so on. I'm just starting physio so am hoping that will help and an adjustment in walking habits - switching to a slower pace and avoiding hills has improved my ability to get out and walk further - which all helps in vitamin D exposure . My psychiatrist was curious about how the vit D would affect my mental health and whether it would improve it - so far it hasn't but the CBT I am having is making a massive difference. I hope things are improving for you. Sara
  14. I agree with this - the approach depends on the cause. A perfect marriage doesn't exist but that doesn't mean a marriage cannot be improved. Maybe that is another option for you rather than staying as you are or separating - are there ways the marriage can be worked on? If ocd is at the root then CBT and working through that, pref with a therapist, will hopefully improve things. If it is the marriage then seeing Relate or working through the issues together with your wife can help. I have known marriages which are still going strong today come back to strength from divorce and even adultery - so anything is possible. Staying in your marriage doesn't mean staying the same in a marriage. I would encourage you also to look at this from your wife and child's point of view too. How does your wife feel about the marriage? How much does she know of your struggles and how is it impacting on her? Even if it is the ocd which is at the root Relate or relationship counselling is probably advantageous. Do you go to a church? Some churches and christian organisations provide support for marriage - Care for the Family is a Christian charity that helps families and they are reputable. Hope you can find the best way through this.
  15. Orwell - about fat and illnesses such as fibro - I have fibro and I can say that whether I am overweight or not I still struggle with pain and fatigue. Maybe one of the reasons people with these kinds of illnesses are overweight is that having an illness like fibro can makes a massive impact on your ability to exercise. I frequently feel frustrated about what I cannot do but wish I could and for some time I made my condition worse by pushing my body to exercise more than it was ready for. As for ocd and diet I don't think diet makes a direct impact on ocd. Due to ocd there was a time when there was only a few healthy foods I was allowed to eat and during those times the ocd prevented me from eating most sugars (except those ones such as fructose in fruit). My ocd wasn't improve by the change in diet nor has any other dietry change impacted on it. The only real benefits I can see for ocd in a healthy diet and exercise is that people often feel more confident and alert when they exercise enough - I guess that confidence enables us to fight the ocd more. A recent study suggested exercise outdoors helps depression and that makes sense - especially when vitamin D in sunlight is taken into consideration. There are lots of medical conditions that impact on our weight too - a fat person doesn't necessarily have a poor diet. Conditions such as PCOS or cushings make an impact. I have PCOS due to insulin problems starting in childhood - I was very trim when it started. Now I have to work solidly at exercise and diet thoroughly and I am lucky if I can lose half a pound in a week or so. Out of curiosity has anyone ever thought about psuedo cushings and weight caused by the stress of the constant anxiety involved in living with or fighting ocd?