richardf89

I've been learning this lesson the hard way recently, so wanted to share it with you. 'Mind reading' is quite a common problem for people with anxiety. You've probably experienced it at some point: something happens with someone you know, and once it's over, you start to over-analyse what happened, your mind embellishes and before you know it, you've decided that the person hates you and thinks you're really rude. Of course, it later turns out that the person didn't feel like that at all. You just decided to read their mind, and got it completely wrong! This has happened a lot to me recently, and I wanted to share what I've learnt to do: talk to them! Don't assume you know what they're thinking until they tell you! I know it's not easy and sometimes seems a bit scary, but asking someone how they feel rather than guessing can stop you from ruminating for days or weeks and driving yourself mad - it's certainly helping me! R

I'll be honest, this doesn't offend me at all. I don't think the company are trying to profit from this illness, either. And I remember that OCD chopping board from before: I find it quite funny really, because I love cooking but it takes me ages to chop stuff sometimes because I obsess over the size! I think it's the same when people make OCD comments or jokes. This used to wind me up, but ultimately these comments come from a misunderstanding of what OCD is. Nowadays, I couldn't care less. People at work have made OCD comments/jokes at my expense in the past (in good humour too by the way, they aren't being rude about it), and I find it all quite funny. We have a laugh, and then it's often a great way to address some misconceptions people have about the condition. R

I get this lots too! Can't really offer much advice, but I've been thinking a lot recently about how when I get worked up about stuff at my job (run-ins with other people, making mistakes, etc) I realise later on that I'm still fretting about the situation and everyone else has moved on. There's something called the Spotlight Effect, where we think everyone is paying attention to us when actually they're not at all, and I think a similar thing can happen with our OCD - we ruminate over things for days/weeks that everybody else forgets about 5 minutes later. I know that everyone makes mistakes at work sometimes, and I bet a lot of those people don't even care. The fact that it's bothering you so much is probably because you care about your work, and that's good! Your boss has apologised and moved on, so try and remind yourself of that x

Thank you for the link, Sarah. It has helped me into my continuing quest for understanding. OCD has been called 'The Doubting Disease'. It's a fact of life that we must deal with uncertainty; there are very few things that we can be truly certain of. I know it's not only people with OCD who struggle with uncertainty, but it certainly hasn't helped me! I'm just trying to come to terms with living in the present, and not trying to answer every question that springs to mind. 'What does my friend really think of me?' 'Is there a god?' 'What's the best way to live my life?' 'What's going to happen in the future?' These are some of the questions that trouble me, but they are also questions that can't be answered definitively. I/we just need to learn to live with this. R.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. Thankfully I distracted myself for the day and am feeling a bit better today. I get these awful waves come over me every few weeks, where I start to panic and can't stop shaking. The worries are usually quite varied, but at the moment I'm struggling a lot with religious anxiety: is there a god? going to hell, etc. I know it sounds a bit weird, but for some reason this is a massive worry of mine. R.

I feel like such a user; I've been away from the forums for a very long time, and as soon as I'm struggling, suddenly I come running back. I'm so scared because my depression has got the better of me; today I am genuinely contemplating suicide, things are just too much. About midday today my mood suddenly turned, I cannot put it into words but I feel worried sick, as though I will explode. I'm shaking so much now and feel like crying but I can't. I can't go on feeling like this, but I don't know who to talk to so I don't do something stupid. Doing something silly seems the only way to stop feeling like this. I phoned the Samaritans today but hung up because I was too scared to talk, I just don't know what to do.