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About taurean

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    London, England
  • Interests
    Olympics (especially London 2012),Athletics,Swimming,Photography, Astronomy, Archaeology, Antiques Programmes on TV,Art. Choral and Classical Music, Jazz, Fishing, Aerobic Exercise, Gardening, National Trust, Wildlife

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  1. It's a good idea to make sure you understand the difference: Reframing is adopting an appropriate helpful rational interpretation of things, rather than the irrational negative false and restrictive take of the OCD. Neutralising is an attempt to remove a thought by throwing an opposing view at it to try and get rid of it.
  2. No I don't think you are neutralising, you are reframing which is fine. Neutralising is when we try and counter a thought with an opposite thought to "neutralise" it. So if I got an intrusion to suggest I didn't care, I might say in my mental chatter - no I am a caring person.This doesn't work. No what you are doing is reframing perception - retuning your impression of a room from the negative irrational take of OCD into a beneficial calming place. It's good stuff lost. It is easy for people to fall into the trap of neutralising, so I just wanted to make people wary of doing that
  3. I think this approach "has legs" in general. Well done lost When we take something to which OCD is giving bad associations e.g. a number, we can say to ourselves "sorry OCD nice try but I am not going along with that". Initially we might just consider how OCD labelling that number bad is its way of applying another restrictive rule. We might then look for rational, happy associations with that number. It's important that we don't use this as a neutralising exercise - as that would strengthen the OCD - but more as one of CBT's behavioural experiments, showing up how irrational the disorder is.
  4. It's an interesting approach and seems to be working for you. I like it I find the garden (or in poor weather the conservatory) does it for me. Plus the health club is a magical relaxation place for both of us. I think the concept will help others to start gradually reclaiming their life from the jaws of the disorder.
  5. But you are a very good student at the University of Life
  6. It also comes from studying English Literature to A-level and marrying a woman with a degree in English Literature. And of course I saw and examined Samuel Johnson's 18th century English dictionary recently on a visit to his house.
  7. the process of gradual or unconscious assimilation of ideas, knowledge, etc. I think it is quite a good word to represent assimilating (picking up) knowledge and technique from the forum (I must stop reading the dictionary before I go to sleep )
  8. Yeah well done again. Hope everyone is taking in the vibes via osmosis - if we find out what to do and how to do it, it really is then for us to apply the necessary work - thinking and behavioural - however difficult it may initially seem.
  9. Morning lost I did a little "snowbear" work - she says she does some of her best thinking whilst asleep - and have emerged from my slumbers ready to roll on this. The OCD alleges that we can't discard things, they "just might" have a use. But we are downsizing, and still sorting through some of our own things, and remaining things brought back from mother-in-law's flat to sort (hidden amongst the dross was an occasional really useful gem, an item better than our own equivalent (which we thus discarded) or something of immense sentimental value that passed all the tests and we wanted to keep). One such thing is a plastic mantelpiece clock, made to look like a valuable wooden heirloom. Why keep that? - well my parents-in-law loved that clock, and it was a standing joke that it was called the "heirloom". It now has pride of place in my wife's "den" and provides happy memories of her parents as well as being a good timepiece. Things - other than sentimentality - must (using my test for worth) have a use. We are being very strict and giving away, throwing away loads of things that we simply cannot take with us to a smaller property. And the deal-clincher - and what can beat the OCD - is the thought that we can always find something to do the job of an item we ultimately find a need for and regret discarding - the Internet and e-bay would no doubt assist. This applies a rational approach to counter the irrational OCD. Value Something valuable but without any use or massive sentimentality, and which we don't want to pass on within the family, can be sold of course. Sentimentality Well those things that directly connect you with your daughter are massively important to you. But, practically, the best way forward is to keep some - which is all you actually need for that purpose - and give away, maybe to a charity shop or friends - others, in a way that you know they can have new meaning for others. The thinking - something bad will happen if I part with this item - is OCD magical thinking. As with this theme of OCD in general, the standard approach is understanding what the OCD is up to - it's an irrational rule being applied - and determining to go about breaking its power in "small steps", realising it is magical thinking, testing that with reality and practicality and ERP. The OCD'S other powerful tool is alleging you are bad if you want to discard something connecting you with your daughter. This is - purely and simply - a normal OCD approach ; but it has no real value, it is OCD turning your core value of love for your daughter on its head. See its game, see what it's up to - and remember your true core values. It's a long answer, but I am hoping it will work for you, my dear friend. Roy
  10. I can help with this lost, but will come back on it tomorrow as it's late now. Roy
  11. In the three I know, they couldn't bear to throw anything away "in case it just might be needed". In the case of my mother-in-law, most of it wouldn't be but she wouldn't let us throw it away - subtly, we did anyway or we would have been tripping over stuff. The OCD irrationally told her that "unusable"or" not required" things must not be discarded because they just might be needed. This is similar to the theme of the other two - my sister and her friend. They have been getting help and gradually parting with things.
  12. I know three hoarders and it is OCD-related.
  13. Yes it seeks to set restrictive rules. These can more and more limit our enjoyment of daily life. For me rituals may be OK if we are in control and they have a tangible benefit but aren't allowed to get out of hand. For example, my mother always cleared away and did /had the washing up done straight after meals - she liked tidiness and orderliness, but wasn't obsessive about cleaning - she simply cleaned adequately. But if checking cleaning magical rituals in OCD are left in place, they are both likely to be restrictive and strengthen the OCD which may well expand into other themes and more restrictions.
  14. Good stuff lost. Well done
  15. Acceptance It is no use wailing and nashing our teeth, we must come to terms with having this illness, and not let that fact derail us from working towards recovery. Probability We cannot get the certainty that OCD demands, but when we understand how the disorder works, we can use the probability that it is OCD to loosen its grip upon us. Defusion There are plenty of methods to take the sting, the power, out of OCD intrusions. Use the search field top right from the forum home page to find them. Detachment Again, there are various methods we can use to disconnect from intrusive thoughts - look them up. Distraction A very useful tool in our armoury - refocus away from intrusions and compulsions by getting heavily involved in other, beneficial, activities. The Four Steps A treatment process to use in addition to CBT and contained within the book "Brainlock" by Jeffrey Schwartz - a guide to the steps can be found by using the search screen on the main OCD-UK website. Indifference E.g. So What? Playing the indifference card and mentally talking down to the thoughts images or urges weakens them. Impartial Observer Imagine you are outside of your body and looking at yourself and your thoughts in an impartial way. See how the disorder uses lies deceipt fear twisting things round to target an erroneous core belief that causes distress and anxiety (disorder). OCD twin Think of a person you know who doesn't suffer from OCD. Think how they would react to your issues, and determine to seek to take their view. Mindfulness Mindfulness is a mental state where we only focus in the present in the moment, without involvement in worry obsessing or compulsing. Simple guides to learning and using mindfulness are available as downloadable e-books. Positive Emotion Generation Introduced to us by Snowbear, this is an effective, simple idea to shift our mind from being dragged by OCD into bad, hurtful, emotions and steers us to thinking good emotions such as love kindness joy. Use the search field from the forum home page to find out how it works.