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NoahsArk

Bulletin Board User
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About NoahsArk

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    USA
  • Interests
    Chess, Religion, Skateboarding

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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187 profile views
  1. Thank you Polar Bear and Ocean Dweller. I sometimes have trouble knowing where to draw the line in areas like this. Most people just have the intuition that saying something like that is harmless, but for me I was repetitively trying to decide if it was ethical or not.
  2. Thank you PolarBear. A problem is that In my mind it is a big deal because I'm limiting my freedom of expression in a way based on a vague thought that something might be disrespecting religion. It also prevented me from having a normal conversation with her today cus I kept thinking about it.
  3. So a few years ago this woman who I'm attracted to, who was my hair dresser and who I wrote about before, used the expression "hell yeah!" We talk on and off now. I feel like I might want to use that expression to show enthusiasm in the future when I talk to her about something, but feel like that would maybe be disrespecting religion. I wouldn't even use the expression that much, but I am obsessing now about whether or not to take the expression out of my vocabulary. I feel like if I do promise myself never to use the expression, it might not be a big deal to just stop using one expression, but then I'm letting OCD control me. If I do use the expression, though, I feel like some how I am disrespecting Christianity. I then obsess about substitute expressions to use, and whether or not the expression I'm worried about actually disrespects anything. Any thoughts about how to deal with this, and is it legit for someone not to want to say something like that for that reason? Thanks
  4. Crush on My Hair Dresser

    I also think that brings up a more general issue: being able to know what's real and what isn't, and what's ocd and what isn't is an important skill. When I think about things more closely, I, and probably others as well, have spent months and even years towards achieving some goal that was likely OCD motivated, and which only served as a means to some end that could've been achieved a much easier way. This got me thinking a lot today.
  5. Crush on My Hair Dresser

    Thank you Ocean and Chaosed. I think it does make sense to take the OCD fear out of the equation. That fear is the hardest thing for me to live with now, and without it I feel much more free.
  6. Crush on My Hair Dresser

    Thank you Ocean Dweller. I realize their are realistic relationship issues here, but I'm trying to separate what's ocd from what's not. There is a chance we may separate, but I don't want OCD to be making the decision for me. Aside from the normal reasons to separate (e.g. it being a relationship of convenience like you mentioned) do you think there are legitimate safety issues at hand? Does the story about her cutting up my shirt with scissors while I was wearing give rise to a real concern that she'd actually stab me with a knife?
  7. Crush on My Hair Dresser

    Hey guys I know I posted this here a while ago...thanks to whoever read it since it was long. I've had on and off periods of ocd since then. I continue to have a crush on my hair dresser almost three years later, and we even meet outside of her work sometimes now. I came back to this post because my obsession about my wife stabbing me came back. Although a I had temporarily conquered it, the other day, just as I was feeling great, the anxiety hit me again. The reason was because I realized that I had forgot to mention in my post, as well as to others who've advised me, that in addition to stabbing me with a pencil, etc., she did something else. I want to know if, knowing the other thing she did, the fear of getting stabbed is actually realistic and I should move out because of that. So about nine years ago we were in the kitchen for breakfast, and my one year old daughter was in her high chair. I was wearing a white shirt which I spilled juice on. She got furious ( i dont remember why she got so mad, but maybe its because she bought me the shirt). Anyways, she took a sharp pair of scissors and started to violently cut up my shirt as I was wearing it. I was so scared that ten minutes later, while waiting for my bus, my hand was shaking. In my last post, Caramoole you thought that the fear of getting stabbed was ocd. I didnt mention, though, this incident with the scissors. I would greatly alpreciate if you or anyone could let me know if this makes it a legitimate fear. I need to get this off my chest and know whether or not I need to start looking for a new apartment or if this is just ocd. The fact that this happened so long ago doesnt give me too much comfort. Even if I'm only at risk of her stabbing me once in ten years that's too much of a risk I think. It's a very unpleasant feeling. I imagine she'll do it when I am in a vulnerable position such as lying down and when I don't expect it. Please help. Thanks.
  8. Thanks for the responses Attempting and paradoxer. "Don't let an inane disorder put you in check mate". Haha it has in the past, but I'll do my best not to let it in the future! I will just try and concentrate on my next move:)
  9. Hello. Recently I posted about getting distracted on a date because I was afraid my ex-would get jealous and do something terrible to me. Now, I'm having the same fear about specific opponents when I play chess. I taught chess in schools for many years, but then stopped for a while and am now getting back into it. I really want to go further in chess since I love the game and there is so much involved in it. Despite having some success, OCD has been a big road block for me and has made it difficult for me to reach my potential. Yesterday I was at a tournament, and, for some reason, I was getting OCD that if I beat my opponent, he wouldn't be a good sport about it. Worse than that, though, I was thinking during the game that if I won he'd go crazy and stab me. I coudn't concentrate and lost in a winning position. Not all players have that effect on me, but something about his demeanor affected me that way. I won the next two games, but the loss to him prevented me from winning the tournament or getting second place. Are there any tips about what I can do in this situation? I want to be thinking about things like what my move options are and what a good plan in my position is, not debating in my mind what are the chances of him stabbing me afterwards! I should also say that this is maybe not even really a fear, because I don't actually get scared like, for example, I did as a kid when hearing a strange noise at night. It's more just a getting stuck kind of feeling. For some reason, even when I generally have a good handle on my OCD, it can be hard to control when I'm playing chess because chess requires so much concentration, and on top of that there is an opponent trying to outwit you every move! What makes it worse is that just by having the thoughts I get annoyed at the fact that I'm having them. On the other hand I've heard that we can't really prevent the thoughts that come into our head, but we can control how much we obsess over them. Should I just be saying to myself something like "ok, well, that's an interesting though, I'll let it stay and wont fight it?". Any tips would be great.
  10. Thank you Snowbear and Attempting for the practical advice. About a month ago I got a book on acceptance and commitment therapy ("ACT"). I should start reviewing it again to see if any of the advice from it applies here. Attempting- lol about the paying attention part. I would much rather have been paying attention to her than thinking about what I was thinking. It feels good when I can pay attention to the person I'm with, and debilitating when I can't. It's kind of like being in the desert with a cool glass of water right in front of you, and its wanting you to drink from it, but you can't!
  11. Thank you paradoxer. About your question, yes: both reasons that you mentioned are true in my case. Regarding the OCD aspects of it, today I was thinking of a possible solution, which is in part influenced by things I've read about OCD: I told myself that if it happens again, while I can't prevent the thoughts, I can tell myself "its not my fault that I'm having these thoughts, and that I'm not going to blame myself for it. If the gal notices something off about me, so be it- just because I have OCD does not make me bad." Does that approach makes sense, and is there anything else I can to myself in those moments?
  12. Hello. Lately I've been pretty busy with work and don't have much time to go out on dates and to do other personal things. Yesterday, though, I went out to eat with a girl who I met over the summer and had met with about three times since. It's been a common theme for me that sometimes I get stuck thinking what my ex might do to me if she finds out I was with someone else. Unfortunately there are elements of truth in my obsession because she has acted out on me in the past during fits of anger and jealousy. We still live together as friends, so she has plenty of opportunities to do something rather nasty if she decides to. However, I don't plan to stop going out on dates just to make sure my ex doesn't take revenge. Yesterday while we were at the table my friend said something to me and all of a sudden the OCD hit me with a rush of anxiety. The girl could see in my eyes that I was no longer present and asked me if I was ok. The trigger of OCD started a vicious cycle: first came the obsession, then came the realization that my friend is noticing that something is wrong which brought even more anxiety and made me feel helpless and stuck. I felt like this moment, which should be a great moment since I'm sitting with a girl who I really like and wanted to see for a while, is being polluted by OCD and also perhaps by some legitimate fear as well, which was very frustrating. So I wanted to ask 1) How to deal with this cycle and still be able to go out and have a reasonable time and 2) assuming that part of my fear is justified, can even realistic fears be overcome using the same methods used to overcome OCD?
  13. Was This Animal Cruelty?

    Ok, thanks again for the responses. I'll do my best to leave this one alone.
  14. Was This Animal Cruelty?

    Thank you guys. I told my dad that the dog was biting me, but didn't say that I kicked him to try and get him to stop. Should I call to ask how the dog is doing? Also, do I need to say I kicked the dog? He didn't tell me that there was anything wrong with the dog, but what if something is wrong and he just doesn't know? Another thing is I'm not sure exactly how hard I kicked the dog. It wasn't as hard as I could, but it wasn't just a tap either. Also, although I did it so the dog would stop biting, it was probably also influenced in part by anger at the fact that the dog wouldn't stop.
  15. Hello. A couple of days before Christmas my father asked me if I could stay at his house for the evening and part of the next day to watch his new dog which is about two months old. I've never watched a dog before, and he explained to me how to take care of him- including when to feed him, how often to take him out, etc. He told me that if I need to leave for an hour or two that's fine, but to keep the dog in its crate when I leave so he wont ruin anything around the house (since he's not yet fully trained). I ended up leaving to get dinner, but decided not to leave the dog in his crate since I felt bad to keep the dog in there the whole time, plus I though it was unnecessary since I thought the dog would be fine staying in a fenced in area within the house which he was used to and which had plenty of space. When I came back he was fine. The next day, when I was talking him outside, I don't know what happened- maybe he smelled something on my leg. He started to non stop growl and bite and attack the bottom of my leg near my ankle and right above. His leash was kind of short, so, at first, I just held him away from me hoping he'd calm down. However, he kept growling and wouldn't stop coming at me with trying to bite. At one point I had to let go of his leash and try and get away from him, but he was too fast. I then tried to push his mouth away with my foot. He still wouldn't stop, so the next time he came at me I kicked his face hoping that then he'd get scared and stop. He still didn't stop so I may have kicked him again once or twice. I didn't kick as hard as I could. I don't really remember how hard it was when I kicked him which is one of the problems. Now I feel that this might have been animal cruelty which is one of the lowest things I can imagine. I wish I just got up on the hood of my car or something since my car was nearby. I keep trying to imagine how hard I actually kicked but don't remember. Eventually he stopped and we went back into the house. I don't remember anything being wrong with him after that or him being in any pain. My father hasn't told me that there's been anything wrong with the dog. So, was this animal cruelty? Did I act wrong in the situation, or am I over thinking this?
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