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About gingerbreadgirl

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  1. am going to take a short break from the forum - I've become very dependent on it of late.  Time to walk the walk now.  Speak soon guys xx

    1. lostinme


      Bless you gbg, hope all goes well for you, wishing you all the very best :yes: x

    2. daja


      Take care. x

  2. Destroyed,dont share anything

    I'm sorry to hear this, Battlethrough. From the outside this does sound like an unkind thing for your partner to do. Especially what she said this morning about wanting to wreck your life. IMO there is not really any excuse for this, especially as she won't have been drunk this morning. I understand OCD can be frustrating but I still think this wasn't fair. Have you spoken to her today? as in properly? x
  3. Hi Petal, I've been mulling this over and actually (again just my opinion) I think you shouldn't tell him - because given the other things your OCD is also preying on I get the sense this is a confessing compulsion of yours and you're hoping it will 'put it to bed' and make you feel better about the whole thing. Which will only strengthen OCD in the long run. Obviously it is totally up to you what you do but I actually think maybe it would be better to draw a line under this and practise riding out the discomfort you feel, as a kind of exposure. Sorry I know I have totally contradicted myself here. And obviously the whole thing has to be your decision, only you know whether somthing is an OCD urge or whether your rational, non-OCD mind also thinks it's a good idea. x
  4. you're asking for reassurance now
  5. I get the same after nights out. But you shouldn't stop them (as you rightly say it would be avoidance). You haven't ruined anything - the situation was there, you could have easily cheated, you were uninhibited by drink, but you didn't. I think this shows is that you're a loving and faithful partner who also has her own life and her own friends and this is exactly how it should be. No need to make issues if they're not there.
  6. No, in my opinion I don't think you should confess. OK maybe under the influence maybe you did a couple of things you might not do sober but - you didn't cheat, you didn't do anything, there would be nothing to be gained from confessing this. Maybe just take it as a lesson for next time, knowing how distressed you feel right now.
  7. there's nothing to confess - your OCD is blowing all of this way out of proportion.
  8. This sounds good exposure to me, well done
  9. But you didn't though - that's the only thing that matters here. Every person in a relationship will have feelings for other people from time to time, maybe flirt, it is human nature. What matters is what you do and you didn't do anything, at all. You've done nothing wrong with any of this. Reassurance over
  10. Just to clarify - I don't think you're doing anything wrong if you don't tell him (at all!). I just meant if you don't tell him you are reinforcing (to yourself) the idea that this was wrong, which it wasn't at all (and you are clearly already worried about this). If you would usually tell him this sort of thing (in a "how was your night out?" kind of way) and you choose not to tell him this because you're worried it was wrong, you are reinforcing the idea that you are somehow guilty of something and you must keep it hidden. Only you can decide though.
  11. Fair enough, I can see this too. If it was me though I wouldn't see the need to keep it a secret, and if I did so it would reinforce the idea in my mind that I'd done something wrong (which clearly you haven't).
  12. Obviously I can't really say what's OK or not, I can only give my opinion, and also I don't know your relationship. But in my opinion as long as nothing happened and there was no intent for anything to happen, (and IMO that you don't keep it a secret) - what have you done wrong?
  13. My opinion is yes you should tell your partner, not because you've done anything wrong but because you haven't done anything wrong. If you don't tell him it is reinforcing the idea that you've done something wrong and it is turning it into a secret. I wouldn't think twice to have a new friend of either sex round for a drink and I wouldn't hesitate to tell my partner. I think you should tell him breezily as if it was nothing, which it was. There is nothing in the vows that say you can't have male friends or a man over for a drink. Fine, there was flirting but flirting is natural (IMO) as long as it doesn't lead anywhere else, which it didnt, end of.
  14. Sex Questions!

    we change the bedsheets (I use "we" loosely as I have nothing to do with it ) once every 8 days apparently! TBH even in my slob days I used to change my bedsheets once a week, but more because I liked them smelling of fabric conditioner than anything else. It's one of those things like showering every day that there's no real need to do, it's just a habit.
  15. The perfect medical treatment...

    A really interesting conv. If OCD is a thinking problem rather than a medical one, how do we explain the extremely high comorbidity with (eg.) tourettes, which definitely is neurological in original as far as I'm aware? Also PANDAs? Just interested, not particularly sure either way