Ryan1992

Hi, My OCD has been significantly spiked since October of last year. The primary themes revolve about possible past transgressions which, if true, would be actions I simply could never forgive myself for. Additionally, I have many intrusive thoughts revolving around my relationship and am very prone to confessing them to her (I'm working on it). What I'm about to share, I've already shared with her: During the height Hollywood scandals which began last year, my first girlfriend from my early teen years unfriended me on Facebook and instagram. This has caused me extreme anxiety and self-loathing, as all of my "firsts" were with her. My brain is telling me I must have done something wrong -- Why would she do that after all these years? More specifically, why would she do that NOW? My girlfriend thinks this is absurd but of course her reassurance only works for a short window of time. I feel like I'm at my wit's end and I really could use some advice on how to move forward. My therapist says I must accept the possibility of this being true but when I try to do that, the guilt associated with that acceptance is often too overwhelming for me to bear.

Thank you so much for your encouragement. Glad to hear that you were able to get it all out on paper. Will do my best to do the same. Ryan

Hello all, This is my first time posting on the forums. I've been reading for the last 3 months and it's really helped me get a handle on this thing. That said, I've reached a roadblock in my CBT/ERP treatment: Writing out and externalizing my intrusive thoughts. My therapist claims he's "heard it all" and won judge but it's something I'm really struggling with. It's very difficult for me to put pen to paper. How any of you had a similar issue? If so, any advice you can give me on how to deal with it would be great. Ryan