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About Phili

  • Birthday 17/02/84

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  1. been sick with one thing or another all week

    1. lostinme


      Oh bless you Phili it's not nice when your unwell 🤒 hopefully you will feel better soon:)

  2. My dog smells like ❤️ 

  3. Hi. I'm not dead, just feeling very withdrawn. 

  4. my psychologist has challenged me to give up chocolate for lent as she is going too and i am gonna give it a try

    1. taurean


      Gosh Phili that will be tough. But give it a go :)

    2. lostinme


      That's great your going to give it a go phili😊

  5. The horrific moment when playing an Otome when you don't know who to choose. Help! meep

  6. Why dont I care? I have this awful apathy that I cannot shake. The lady from HUTS asked me "if I didnt have all the things I have, if life hadnt thrown me this curve ball then what would I do, what would I like to do" and I didnt have an answer. I used to but...I gave up on my dreams not long before my Mum passed away. I figured the best I could get out of life was small moments of joy, a nice treat, a good joke. I came to the realisation that to live without causing waves was the best way forward. People say "well its not like that now" but I gave up and I have no idea how to recover from that. No one seems to have an answer. I keep trying but in truth, other than to make sure than Anne and ,my brother are secure, there is nothing that i want. Even my writing. Creating the fantasy world the way that I am is just to distract me from actually writing. May be I am afraid I will fail and be rubbish. But the truth is, I dont know how to recover. Emotion seems to have left me. Only Anne seems to be able to draw any feeling in me. I have no direction, no wants, no bucket list, no dreams. I cant make people understand that and so I dont know how to get them back and I am in such an apathy that I dont even care if I do. I dont want to be like this but everything has left me. Faith, passion, fight, desire and I dont know how to get them back or replace them.
  7. Everything I do is wrong

    1. taurean


      Now this is "all or nothing thinking" Phili. Maybe some things you do are wrong, might have been done better ; but we all do that, we cannot always be right - at best we can likely expect to get things right maybe 85% of the time. 

  8. My psychologist is off sick this week and I think next as well. I have been carrying on my homework but have been struggling to do it all as my period takes a lot of energy. I have been looking at the pad but am finder it harder but I have looked down the loo every time. The thing is, for five minutes a day I am supposed to examine selected body parts, I am also supposed to be doing exercises. The trouble is I keep forgetting. I have tried signs, alarms, reminders and a time table and I still forget, any advice, I want to do these things so why do I keep forgetting?
  9. It's my birthday 🎉 

    I never want to see food again. 🤢 

    1. taurean


      We might quote you on that :biggrin:

  10. Well it was about homework not reassurance and she wouldn't tell me any reassurance either. You see I used to wear pads all the time and never looked at them. This is the first time I have actively looked at my period for two years so I don't know what's normal anymore. It is 100% my period because of the Miread of colours but this is my first time looking so it's hard. She is trying to get me comfortable with my body, rather than viewing it as something that wants to kill me like I do now. Right now I am dying from three different things and that doesn't include aging. She told me that with periods I only have to worry about yellow or green as it is a sign of infection.
  11. Woke up at eleven to a very loud crack. The window behind my head has cracked from top to bottom. This frightened Anne who then peed all over the sofa. So now we have no sofa and a cracked window.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. taurean


      Report the window to the landlord to get fixed - and he may have insurance that might cover it. 

    3. Phili


      The council will fix the window but the sofa has had it.

    4. halle123


      Who is Anne? Give the couch a good scrub  xx


  12. Well I called my psychologist because it was two splats of blood and some congealed down the toilet. There has been nothing on the pad and so I thought maybe I had a burst blood vessel or something but I think it is my period. She said to keep an eye on it. I forgot to ask what to do with the other one...
  13. If I stick my head down the loo and flush, you think it would help?
  14. It is a genuine question about if it is normal or not. I'm tired, my head has been really foggy recently and I can't settle. Why is it always five steps forward and ten back. I don't know what to do with myself.