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About BelAnna

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  1. Aw I hope you're ok, it's horrible when that happens. Thanks, you're definitely right that it's important to get good quality CBT and I think what you said about it not being the theme that matters was echoed by Snowbear! Thanks Snowbear, that makes sense- I did engage in compulsions, which then increased my anxiety so I should have nipped it in the bud and just acknowledged that the OCD thoughts were OCD.
  2. I have been doing so well for about a week- really tackling my contamination and responsibility OCD symptoms in some challenging situations and trying hard to manage my other OCD symptoms. However I've just been for a run and when I got back I had awful OCD whilst showering and dressing with thought action fusion, scrupulosity, responsibility intrusive thoughts and compulsions and I feel like I've just been beaten up even though it's all in my head!! Does anyone else feel like OCD is a multi-headed monster- you cut off one head and it sprouts two more?!
  3. I made some real progress with certain aspects of my OCD whilst away on a short break last week. I'm now struggling with another element of OCD but trying to distract myself! 

    1. gingerbreadgirl


      well done you for making progress.  :) It is horrid how sometimes you can deal with one thing, and then another pops up, like whack-a-mole.  be kind to yourself :) x

    2. BelAnna


      It is definitely like whack-a-mole! thank you. Hope you're ok! x

  4. Do some people never recover?

    ^^^ This would be great Ashley! Maybe could there be a feature on it in the OCD magazine.
  5. Do some people never recover?

    Yes, I think that it is a fact that some people never recover- there have been sufferers who have developed OCD and lived with it until their death but perhaps even those people have acquired tools for coping with life with OCD and have had relationships/families, careers, hobbies, travelled and experienced good quality of life- sadly some might not. Obviously most of us on the forum would like to make our OCD as small as possible so that we can live life to the full and there are examples of a few ex-sufferers on the forum, who consider themselves recovered. Some people have OCD for life, others have episodes with OCD and episodes without and still others recover completely- I think that the idea is to attack as much of our OCD as we can and fight it back as much as possible- if that means complete recovery then that's amazing and if it means that we only suffer shorter, milder periods of relapse/blips then that's really good too. I'm sorry you're feeling down about this
  6. Anger and panic attacks

    Hi Chilledice, Sorry to hear that- I think irritability and anger is very common in OCD.
  7. Was this a big cancer risk?

    Hi Ineedahug, I think it's OCD because the effects of plastics would be cumulative so that long-term exposure to lots of plastics might cause a slight cancer risk but one exposure is very unlikely to pose a health risk.
  8. Thanks so much snowbear, legal and polarbear. I'm actually on a time out (in the car) from the party at the moment but it's my social anxiety that i'm struggling with more than the OCD at the moment. I feel painfully shy and can't think of things to ask or say in response to people. OCD and the isolation it has caused have really stolen my ability to talk and be normal :-( . I'm wondering if things will ever get better xx
  9. I am staying in a holiday apartment, 300 miles from home, for a special occasion tomorrow. I find travelling and staying in places where other people have stayed incredibly triggering for my contamination OCD and difficult for all aspects of it. My Psychologist recommended using the next few days as an exposure experiment (particularly for my contamination OCD) and I've actually been massively better at facing loads of challenges with far fewer compulsions. However I'm sleep deprived (I've had less than 5 hours each night for three nights) and stressed out. These are the problems I'm facing with my OCD at the moment, any help/advice/support would be great: 1. Contamination OCD: I had to collect a parcel in the town here for Mother's day tomorrow and didn't expect to be asked for a signature (which I would never normally do). I signed for it with my index finger (on a screen), only to notice my finger was bleeding. Is this anything to worry about? I think this should be ok so my anxiety level is gradually reducing over time with this one. 2. Responsibilty/harm: I just took my dog for a walk on the beach (I have OCD about harm coming to my dog) and not only were there tons of pieces of glass on the sand (she sometimes eats inedible items) but I let her off-lead for once to play with another young dog and she almost ran into a main road! She then flopped onto the sand right next to a clear tube/straw that seemed to have white powder in it. I'm not sure if she ate anything on the sand but I'm scared in case she got some sort of drugs-related thing especially as we will have to leave her for a long time tomorrow so might not notice if she becomes unwell. 3. Emetophobia/Contamination: One of the guests, who is due to attend the event tomorrow, has a young baby who has just recently been hospitalised for dehydration following a nasty virus (most likely a stomach bug that causes diarrhoea and/or vomiting). I'm severely emetophobic (vomit phobic) and viruses like that are highly contagious (so that if the baby's mother attends without the baby, which might happen, then she could spread the infection through hand shakes, hugs to her family members and the buffet). In any other situation where I had heard that a guest had a sickness bug at home I would definitely not go (in fact I tend to avoid people for at least a month after they've had a stomach bug) but my family members would be really hurt if I didn't attend this and I want to go- I just wish said guest wasn't going to be there. I'm concerned that I'm not going to be able to keep things together until I leave on Wednesday but I really want to get on top of my OCD this year and to keep going with the ERP on this trip.
  10. Hi Snowbear, Thanks, I'm not 100% that the sociopathy concern is OCD because my emotional responses are abnormal (sometimes blunted) and I often ignore other people's (particularly my close family members') feelings or feel annoyance where I should feel sympathy and I can be incredibly cruel (I don't say nasty, personal things but I do cruel things, disrupt people's plans, nag and moan etc.). I have had issues with anger for most of my life (starting with very severe tantrums as an older child) and I do think that these issues are closely related to anxiety but I've also got into a cycle of being miserable and making others miserable. It worries me that at times I really don't care enough about the people I'm supposed to care about. Thanks Polarbear. I am having weekly therapy sessions, although last week's got cancelled for the snow but I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I'm working towards some CBT goals for one aspect of my OCD but I feel overwhelmed by all the other aspects of it/obsessions and distressed by the effect that the OCD has had on my life (I should have a degree, a job/career, a husband/long-term relationship, kids, house, car by now but I have nothing. Hi Isthisreality, Thanks for empathising- yes I know what you mean about feeling irritated if someone disrupts one of your compulsions and you're right that it's not normal but is a result of OCD. I think that I have some other things going on and possibly a personality disorder/problem so I can be very irritable at times even when the cause is not OCD-related but I hope things improve for you with CBT soon!
  11. in a panic and feeling awful at the moment

  12. is a panic and feeling awful atm

  13. Hi, I think something is seriously wrong with me- I am constantly irritable, angry (sometimes aggressive although not physically) and distressed at the moment. When I am preoccupied with an OCD concern I don't really care about my loved ones and even sometimes think that I'm deliberately harming them or trying to cause them cancer/illness and behave in really cruel ways, to the extent of being perhaps psychologically-abusive. I am concerned that my behaviour is sociopathic. Simultaneously I am freaking out about OCD things- for example I think that I left two disposable gloves by the front door and that my dog may have swallowed them AND I'm concerned with scrupulosity issues AND concerned that i've contaminated my things with norovirus. I don't know if I'm having a breakdown or what is going on. I don't know why I am hurting my family who love me and whom I should love and care for. Help!
  14. Aw that's upsetting. Maybe could you just tell her what you've said here- that she's always been strong, in control and on top of things; that she's helped you massively and arranged help when you've needed it and that now you want her life to be fulfilling too and to help her get treatment for depression? Perhaps you could book her a GP appointment and go with her?
  15. In need of some support!

    Hi Sophie, That's great that you've been doing better with the OCD and the focus on your baby is helping! With re. to the thyroid issue- could you book an appointment this week with another GP and just ask to have the bloods re-done? Then try to distract yourself and do something fun to help you stop ruminating?