Em24

Hi Laura, Are there support groups running at the moment? How do I join? Thanks

I used to suffer with this! Remember that the prayer thoughts are just intrusive thoughts. OCD is cleverly dressing it up and playing on your faith, to hit you when you’re more vulnerable to take notice and apply meaning to them. Hope that makes sense!

Sounds like the only thing they have in common with each other is drug taking. I’m in recovery myself and honestly those friendships I had when I was using weren’t really friendships at all. When I stopped, I found I really had nothing much in common with them anymore and I realised just how much they needed drugs or alcohol to have a good time. It sounds to me like there was a lot of ego driven talk flying about. In my experience, people who feel the need to do this are usually deeply insecure or feel they are lacking in someway. I don’t think you should be feeling embarrassed at all, you’re staying true to yourself. Trust me when I say you’re definitely not missing out. However I do understand its not a nice feeling to be the odd one out. Do you mind me asking..Does your partner currently do drugs and has he ever encouraged you to take them? x

I’ve had OCD since I was a young child. I didn’t reach out for help until I was 21 and my 1st child was about 2 at the time. OCD latched on hard during early parenting so I can relate 100%. It can and will get quite a bit better if you keep working on not carrying out compulsions, using your learnt CBT etc.. My eldest is now 13 and has OCD himself. It was my worst fear him having to suffer this horrible anxiety but we work through it together. I advise him and teach him about how OCD works and I never engage in compulsions with him. He struggles at times but it’s made him a strong, resilient and caring boy and I’m very proud of him. Sorry went on a bit of a random one there.. Basically things can get better and if your child does end up with OCD, they’ll be grateful to have you on their side, helping them to fight the bully brain and just being there for them. They know that you ‘get it’ and they don’t feel alone like most of us did growing up. Hope you’re doing ok x

Hi everyone, I haven't been online in a long time. Just a little back story.. Last year I was diagnosed with ADHD (age 32), I’ve suffered with OCD since I was around 7 years old. My upbringing was unusual and recent mental health assessments have resulted in being diagnosed with CPTSD, due to quite a lot of trauma etc.. I’ve always tried my best over the years but I’ve definitely used alcohol, food, cannabis, sex and cocaine as ways of coping. I would drink to quieten my brain (OCD and Anxiety), food to make myself feel a bit happier, Coke to give me energy (I’m now on ADHD meds and do not use coke anymore), sex to make myself feel like I’m attractive and wanted (I have issues with low self esteem, self worth and confidence) and weed would help me focus and get jobs/housework/projects done. However now I have issues which are 'Am I an addict or has my OCD latched onto this?!’ I no longer smoke weed, cocaine I’m around 3 months clean. I struggle with emotional eating still and alcohol but nowhere near the level I used to. I recently started an intensive addiction therapy course. Its group sessions with 4 other addicts and a counsellor. While I recognise I have unhealthy behaviour patterns around substances which I’m addressing. I actually think OCD has been lurking in the background here. Thing is it’s difficult to differentiate between the addiction which is driven by an obsession to rely on substances and a compulsion to use things even when they cause me harm in the long run. Vs OCD having latched onto a fear that I’m an addict and will never get better and everything is going to crumble around me. Even though I genuinely am not as bad as what I had thought myself to be, I’ve been told this by multiple health professionals etc.. I am worried as I don’t want to enable myself. Basically my reason for posting is.. Anyone else here ever struggled with addiction? Does anyone else get where I’m coming from? Also any fellow ADHDers who also struggle with OCD? Any help, advice or just knowing I’m not alone would be much appreciated. Thanks for reading my essay!

Great to hear from you SnowBear! How are you doing?

Hi! How is everyone? I first joined OCDUK around 7 years ago I think?! Just wanted to see how people are doing. I personally suffered with harm intrusions, I suffered from around age 6, didn't understand about OCD til I was around 22. The only reason I found out about OCD was because I had had my 1st child (who is now nearly 10!) and my OCD had started to focus on him, I then felt tremendous guilt and had suicidal thoughts because of this. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was (at 1st) too scared to speak to a Dr and felt very lonely and afraid, I began to believe that my child would be better off if I was dead. However that's now in the past for me, OCD no longer controls ANY aspect of my life. I wanted to reach out right now because I understand how extra hard this COVID-19 situation will be for many sufferers of OCD. I want to lend an ear to listen, an inbox that's open and an understanding of how OCD can effect daily life. Anyone please feel free to message me, however I'm a 29 Yr old mum of 2 so can definitely help mums ? but also happy to speak to anyone who suffers. I'm not a Councillor although I have been told many times I should go round the schools doing presentations about childhood OCD (I did one at my sons school when he was 5 and showing signs). I cannot offer you advice regarding medication, councelling or to do with your current treatment plan. However I can speak honestly and openly about my own struggles. Speak to you without judgement (especially talking to those mummas out there) and give hope that you really genuinely can beat this! OCD ruled at least 13 plus years of my life. The last 8 to 9 I have ruled over OCD in a healthy, non cumpulsion or obsessed way. OCD is there but it has no control. You can feel this too. I hope this is OK to post here. In a way I hope I don't see any names I recognise as I would love for you all to have beat this and moved on. But if anyone recognises me, come say Hi! It's been a long time! I will always be grateful of this forum and its members. You helped me gain clarity ?

It's great to hear you're doing so well Roy!

I've actually had to sleep in my friends bed before knowing it's probably covered in spunk and god knows what ?? Sheets hadn't been changed in a very long time and her and her partner were always banging..He was more of a bang buddy really. It wasn't the best I can tell u! I had to block it from my mind and wash clothes/shower when I got home lol. I've been in the 1st situation before. It did cross my mind about what they'd been up too just before ? But they didn't attempt to hug or anything, I think most people would hold off from doing that? If they went to hug my child I would be grossed out. I always shower after sex but if we were rushing I would at least clean hands and body parts. Sheets I wouldn't really think about, if it was bad we would change sheets ASAP. If it was a tiny bit we probably wouldn't notice.

Some people on the forum tend to post here as a compulsion. I wouldn't say that's what you're doing though? You seem to be opening up for the 1st time and letting everything out? It's a huge relief when you can finally speak out isn't it!! You seem to be aware of your compulsions and how OCD works, which it great! Half the battle is working out compulsions and understanding this strange disorder. Do as much self help reading on CBT for OCD specifically and I have a feeling you will do really well. X

Hi, Sorry to hear your mum is in a bad place right now. However her putting all that pressure and responsibility on to you just isn't fair. Has she had any Therapy or Medication for her Bipolar? Is there anyone else who can help you care for your mum or are you doing it alone? X

Hi Luna, You are definitely not alone. Many people suffer with these intrusive thoughts after having a baby. You've had a lot happen in your life also, which adds to your OCD I would think? You sound like a loving and caring mother, who wants the absolute best in life for her baby. A good mother Please try to remember that when you are feeling low. CBT therapy is the number one treatment for OCD. I personally found therapists didn't work for me. I went down the self help route. Break Free From OCD, Brain Lock and The OCD Workbook are all great self help books. If money is running low for therapy, I would really encourage you to look at buying a CBT self help book like the above. I feel like the appointments with a baby psychologist could actually be a compulsion? Almost like you need them to tell you that you aren't harming or affecting your baby? So you may get brief reassurance from these appointments but they don't actually solve anything? That's just what I'm getting from this though, I could be wrong. You can get better from this. X

Hi, I have gone public about my OCD, however it took a long time for me to decide to do so. Also I did it because I 100% wanted to. My reasons were to spread awareness on what OCD actually is. I would worry that you are choosing to go public just to clarify your sexuality? The problem with that is you are dragging up old wounds and possibly going to cause some confusion because of this..Many people would put your confessing to being gay as a phase? Or you discovering yourself? They may now think you are Bi but thats fine! Who cares what other people think?! OCD is so misunderstood anyway, that you probably wouldnt get the reaction or clarification you seek from going public. Have a long think about it before you decide on anything x

Hi Emsie, That's great you are resisting your compulsions to reassurance seek! I used to do this also with my husband. When I started fighting my OCD, we decided that while I was riding out the anxiety and not carrying out compulsions, if it ever got really bad, I would just ask for a hug. Just a hug to feel that he was there and I wasnt fighting it all on my own. I found that hugely helpful in the 1st few weeks. He said after my recovery that it helped him too. He didn't feel so powerless against it all. You're probably thinking..eerrrm cheers love what a random bit of 'advice' ? But I remember how hard it was going cold turkey when your partner is actually a huge role in your compulsions. X

That's such a difficult age anyway isn't it?! Not quite a teen but also not really a young child either! I'm guessing he is in secondary school or last year of primary? It sounds to me like you are doing a great job. You have recognised he needs help regarding his anxiety and actually got him help, which I know many parents don't do. You are in tune with him and can sense when he is having a flare up which is such a good thing. Also you are actively trying to help him yourself, taking him out for dinner etc is an excellent idea! OK so it didn't work out today but please don't be hard on yourself ❤ My son (age 7) is so much like me, I have suffered with OCD since a young age. We are working through his worries together. We have good days and bad days too. I think it's natural for a child to be a bit anxious when they are due to return to school (obviously your son's anxiety is a lot more and probably surrounding some OCD themes in particular) but really there isn't a massive amount you can do? Other than give him lots of love, encouragement and support which I'm sure you are doing plenty of ☺ Is he receiving CBT? Do you have any CBT children's books you could work through together? My son and I work through 'What to do when your brain gets stuck' when he has bad flare ups. I have found some of the simplified phrases etc have helped too. I came up with a way to explain it with help from that book. I explain it to him that our brains have thought sorters, kind of like the mail sorters at the post office. Imagine that our thoughts are letters. We have important letters which we open and keep. And we also have junk thoughts, like the junk mail mummy sometimes gets in the post. 'When mummy gets junk mail, what do I do with it?' He replies along the lines of 'You have a quick look then chuck it in the bin' 'That's right, just because I get the junk mail sometimes, doesn't mean it's important. Sometimes it just comes through anyway and that's OK. ' I find that telling my son how OCD works but in a way that he can actually imagine a situation..Like a little post office in his head, sorting through junk mail and important letters..Seem to help him a lot. I don't mention OCD to him because he is young, I don't want him to feel labeled and hopefully he won't end up full blown OCD if we nip it in the bud. Sorry if this post seems long winded or if I am telling you stuff you already do! I just know how hard it is to watch your child go through something as awful as OCD. And also how easy it is to start placing blame on yourself or feeling helpless. You're doing all you can x