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About Unsurechap

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  1. i guess i find myself wondering if indeed OCD is at play because i don't really get like panic attack type anxiety, its more low level than that, i do get a discomfort with the thought of liking men. i just want my brain to quieten down for a while.....
  2. I'm beginning to see what the pattern of my illness is and also understanding what compulsions i am doing to make me feel better in the short term. Since my theme of ocd surrounds sexuality and me being gay, i find myself checking out straight and gay porn to satisfy myself that a) i get aroused by the straight porn and b) i don't get aroused by the gay porn. i realise i've been doing this for a long time and it is quite possibly not helping. After all the results i get from this are that my response is to the straight porn, but i continue to ask myself the question. its like i cant be rational with myself, all the evidence i have is that i am naturally aroused by women, and not by men but i can't stop asking myself the question. i just wish my brain would shut up for a while and accept that i get aroused by women, and not men..... but no matter what i do it doesnt seem to stick. perhaps a different approach is needed whereby i stop asking myself the question..... but its so hard sometimes not to go through things in your mind or reassure yourself, i just wish i could break free and be comfortable with myself.....
  3. David, it sounds as if you are in a bad place. Is there someone who you can call, who would talk to you? Perhaps go online and maybe do some meditation to take your mind off things for a while..... keep strong and you will get through, though i know is awful for you right now
  4. Yeh i get you. i sometimes think to myself 'do i really mean what i think' happens all the time and i end up in an argument with myself.... the difficulty is knowing what you do or do not mean. i think its better to go on emotion and feelings rather than thought, as our thoughts can be intrusive and unwanted. its difficult because CBT tells us that our emotions and behaviours are influenced by our thoughts.....
  5. Hi can empathise on the thoughts about same sex, children and family members. Its horrendous and its difficult to work out who you truly are and if these are actual sexual desires. I can't offer a huge amount of support as i'm struggling myself at the moment but i guess you should go with what makes you smile and happy.
  6. yes its easy to say so, but more difficult to do in practice. all i want is to be is relaxed but i find it very difficult to be so.......
  7. thanks folks. yeh i guess the problem is trying not to want to fix things and make myself feel better, rather allowing things to improve anxiety wise of their own accord. after all anxiety and uncomfortable feelings arent going to kill me.
  8. This is the key point in recovery from OCD, sitting with the horrible uncertainty feeling that exists. Does anyone have any tips for sitting with uncertainty and how to make life easier when you are anxious - breathing, meditation?? any ideas? I have a general unease feeling, and i don't like it and want rid of it, i want to be relaxed but sometimes it feels as if my brain is on fire.
  9. you can't be blamed for having thoughts. we don not control the content of our minds. focus on what your reaction was - to feel sick.
  10. I think your instinct is right, it does sound like OCD.
  11. I guess the rational response would be monitor the situation, see if his back still hurts later on and it continues. I think it would be reasonable to go to the doctor if it continues to be sore, BUT you have to trust the doctor's advice, and trust what they tell you..... it does sound like OCD to me, but you are allowed to have a reasonable response to the situation i.e. go to the doctors if the pain remains....
  12. Hi i can totally relate. I'm a dad to a nearly two year old and suffered intrusive thoughts about my darling little girl. It so horrible to have and difficult when you cant just shut your mind up and it won't leave you alone. I don't have any great advice just to let you know that you are not alone.... x
  13. Petal, I've been there when your thoughts are so bad they make you heave its a horrible place to be. BUT, you see how much distress its causing you by giving you that reaction, be a little more kind to yourself and chalk it up to obsessive thinking.
  14. Yeh paradoxes I've been thinking about erp and how to make myself uncomfortable. I tried the whole gay porn watching and with an attitude of so be if it arouses me rather than being scared of it. I was able to look at it and go 'well they look like they are enjoying themselves but it does nothing for me' mind you I've watched it quite a few times now and have never been aroused.....
  15. It's true the impact on others is a factor, my poor little innocent girl who is not even two yet. It's about having a little faith in yourself and not having 100% certainty. I know that if I lie back and think about women I get movement downstairs and it's having the faith that fundamentally that's all there is to it. I don't get aroused when I think about guys. I get aroused thinking about girls.