Unsurechap

Does anyone ever feel that they get to the end of a day and you think, i've got their obsession sussed, only to go to bed wake up the next morning and it starts all over again? so frustrating.......

Yeh I hear what you are saying but is it now time to try something different as what you are doing isn’t helping!

But we’ve been here before and I’ve told you there are no rules you have to follow. I think what is holding you back is this ‘I don’t want to be gay’. You need to have the attitude of ‘IF I was gay then it would be ok’. It continues to be a fear of yours you need to let it go and have a so what attitude.

Well there is your answer. There are no rules that say you need to do anything. A groinal about going something. Do you think that’s how sexual arousal works? Ps it doesn’t.

Dave Totally get why you would freak out about what the doctor said, but try and not read anything into it. What you describe is not most people describe as arousal - a pleasant, natural feeling that just occurs over which you have no control, you simply describe something happening down there, which as people have outlined can be a symptom of anxiety. Maybe the low testosterone thing is the answer to your libido and erection difficulties?

Some of you were kind enough to post to me last week as i was feeling quite low. well 'm feeling a bit better this week and my mood has definitely improved. I'm currently living apart from my partner and daughter but seeing them and spending time with them over the weekend definitely helped matters. Thank you to those who posted last week and i hope that everyone's week is going ok!

yes deep down i know i'll be ok as ive gotten through hard times before and i'll get through them again.... never give up

wonderer thank you that is helpful, i know its no the done thing to talk about themes, but yes it does help to know that someone has walked the same path as me......

wonderer, thank you for your comment. Yes that is true we are not responsible for our thoughts and i do get that, i just hate mine sometimes and it gets me down the constant internal battle i have to stay well and happy.

njb, thanks mate i appreciate you commenting. i know i'm a good guy who would never hurt a flea.........

And a little bit of blind faith helps as well, trusting in yourself knowing that deep down I am a really good person. Actually maybe the answer is maybe I’m not such a good person and I just cover up how much of a bad person I really am (that’s me exposing myself)

Yeh I do see what you are saying. I guess reassurance isn’t working. Time for a different tact.

Yeh I know you are right. So difficult to not seek reassurance!

Yes they do mean nothing. You are right. Even though they make me physically ill just thinking of them, I wish they would leave me alone. Rationally I know I would never act on my thoughts but for some reason I can’t stop worrying about them. Classic cbt of trying to weigh up the evidence for and against the thought and whether I would do it doesn’t work even though there is overwhelming amounts of evidence (I mean mountains of evidence) still I seem to need to go over things. It’s ridiculous. Now excuse me for being graphic but for example last night I got sexually aroused by the thought of something very heterosexual - ie it didn’t involve a man at all. Now you would think that would be enough for my brain to go well duh you are obviously straight but now here I am still worrying that I’m gay. Even though the thought of doing something sexual with a guy makes me physically retch! It’s completely irrational and I know it but I can’t seem shrug off the worry. I love my partner and my daughter so much, they bring a smile to my face when I think about them or look at pictures off them - why does my brain just accept they make me happy and that I don’t want to be with a man nor do I want to abuse children (another of my fears)

Yeh that’s true and I know that I guess I don’t understand why we get repeated thoughts that I don’t like. They serve no purpose except to upset me.

I probably know the answer to this already i guess but thought i'd write down my fears anyway - how does one deal with disgusting thoughts, thoughts you don't like but they come back repeatedly even though they are not pleasant nor enjoyable? Does everyone just have disgusting thoughts?

So decided to take the day off work today as couldn't face it. I needed time to relax and chill which i have done this morning. I know deep down what makes me smile and therein happy its my girlfriend and my daughter i want to be with them. The idea of being with a man is aversive to me, I just need get that to stick in my mind!

My worry is that I’m gay. Sorry to be graphic but the thought of being with a woman gets me aroused yet I still worry I’m gay. It’s so daft!

Thank you Rox. I appreciate your comment.

its like i know i am not my thoughts and i know rationally they are not true but i can't help but worry........

thanks i appreciate your comments. i hope i can get back on track.....

Thanks am having a really low day, having done well for the last wee while. I stopped seeing a therapist as i didnt think i needed it anymore, i thought i had everything solved and felt better.

Hi all, i thought i'd reach out as i've not got anyone to talk to today. am feeling pretty low and was just looking for support. I am no longer seeing a therapist so i have noone to offload to - but i'm sick of my thoughts and feeling low. I find falling asleep at night difficult and am often awake for hours before a fall asleep which means i'm tired in the mornings. I slept better last night after having a bad day yesterday with low mood. I hate my intrusive thoughts, i wish they would just leave me alone. I hate that i have to post on here for support and that i'm not able to cope on my own. I don't want to tell anyone i'm feeling low because they will worry about me but i just feel that i need a little support at the moment. i'm due to have a runaround and play football tonight so i'm hoping that it might lift my mood a little. i love my partner and my family but i don't want to worry them with telling them i'm feeling low. I have been trying to reduce my medication - and am having a stressful time with a possible new job in the offing, and leaving a current job i've been in for a long time and think (hope) that that is what is causing my low mood. i don't want to feel like this anymore. gonna go for a walk at lunchtime and see if that lifts my mood a little but i just wanted to see if anyone out there was reading..........

Alfie Yes i'm sure there would be people who didn't understand, though my feeling is that i would be going public to mostly friends and family on social media i.e. facebook and i think i would most likely get more positive comments than negative ones.

Thanks lynz- definite food for thought.