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Hopeful

Bulletin Board User
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  1. I used to sometimes find after running my anxiety would spike because of adrenaline, I found it much better to go in the morning because there would be more going on throughout the day which would naturally draw my attention away from it. Do persevere with the exercise though because I found eventually my brain just got used to it and in the end registered it as “adreneline” not anxiety and things really improved. I also found swimming was great for helping me to feel really calm, during and after.
  2. GBG, I do not post a lot on the forum but I do read the posts and I often see how helpful your comments are to other people. I know how horrid it is to think negatively of yourself but whenever I see your posts I think what a compassionate person. I know this is offering reassurance and your OCD will already have thrown some things at you to combat it but the comments above from other users are so true, everyone makes mistakes! It’s simply part of being human. My favourite quote from a good self help book is “the past doesn’t exist, it’s just memories in the present. The future doesn’t exist, it’s just thoughts and images in the present, the only time you ever have is this moment.” Much easier said then done but I think it’s valuable. I hope you feel better soon x
  3. Does anyone else ever worry about OCD making their memory a lot less specific? I don’t mean false memories. It’s like I sometimes have moments where it’s like I’ve genuinly forgotten all the useful strategies I learnt in CBT or through self help books and then after I’ve fallen back into a relapse I’ll only remember how to get myself out of it after thinking hard for a while. So frustrating. I feel before I speak I sometimes have to mentally rehearse what I’m saying because I worry I’ll forget it otherwise. It means I keep ruminating over things and the “right way” to feel better as I feel like I forget the correct way to react to uncertainty. Can ocd do this? Is there anything I can do to help with this? Thank you x
  4. That’s such a good example of it, I feel like my OCD is a bit like donkey from shrek constantly jumping about trying to get attention.
  5. I also went through a spell of false memories and like GBG said, Polar Bears book really helped to pull me through it. It really helped me to stop seeing them as “false memories” and to see them for what they were : intrusive thoughts trying to trick you! After realising this/not focusing on it anymore and reading Polar Bear’s book it completely lifted and I could see clearly how my worries were so irrational and there was nothing to fear. There is light at the end of the tunnel. X
  6. You are right. This is the only life we have so we have to try and make the most of it no matter what.
  7. I feel like every little thing I’ve done wrong e.g things said in heat of the moment/mistakes at work/getting things wrong I cannot let go and ruminate over 24/7. I don’t know why I judge myself so intensely but it’s making life very very hard. I know I’m doing it but can’t seem to help it. I am regretting posting this now as I feel this in itself may be reassurance seeking / a compulsion. I’m sorry.
  8. Move on and forgive yourself for mistakes in the past? X
  9. You can refer yourself I think through the IAPT service for CBT if your doctor is no help x
  10. Hi Justine. When my anxiety was really, really bad a few years ago I began to suffer with severe numbness, almost as if I had a dead arm or leg. I would also feel very run down and lightheaded. I went to my doctor also and they could not find anything physically wrong and said that it probably was down to anxiety. I started going for evening swims and started yoga and I did find that after a while - when my anxiety levels came down - the numbness and other symptoms went away. Saying that it did take a while because even when I felt better, my body was so used to being in a high state of anxiety it took a little time for it to get back to normal. x
  11. You're right, you're so right. When I read your reply properly it allowed me to step outside and see it clearly, which I just haven't been able to do in probably weeks. It's all or nothing thinking, it is just when I started to panic that perhaps I am a bad/careless/irresponsible person I can't see the wood for the trees. I need to accept the fact that it is OK to make mistakes, so easy to say it to my friends I don't know why I can't apply it to myself. I remember listening to a podcast by Steven Phillipson and he said you should get to a place where it's not about trying to prove or disapprove the thoughts but looking at it as them being irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Thank you so so much for your reply and bringing me back down to earth x
  12. I was listening the other day to music and a song came on that I haven’t heard in years, it took me back to when I worked at a dance and drama summer club for kids and it was one of the songs that we were practising a routine to. I can’t remember who picked the song and at the time I didn’t nor did any of the other members of staff think anything of it but listening to the lyrics back I think oh my goodness this is actually quite inappropriate, ever since having that realisation I have been completely wracked with guilt and feel terrible that I was so irresponsible and didn’t check the song properly enough. I can’t stop beating myself up over it. Obviously the routine itself would have been age appropriate and it would have been a radio version of the song but I’ve conpletely lost perspective on this and can’t stop ruminating on how it makes me a terrible, irresponsible person. I’m feeling so upset about it from the moment I get up to the moment I go to sleep, I don’t know how to get myself out of this. I’ve been doing well at overcoming other themes of ocd but whenever I’m doing well it’s like it morphs into something else that will make me feel dreadful and like a bad person. How can you leave it alone when it’s a real event? Or how can I put it right?
  13. I did not have OCD when I started my current job, but 2 years ago or so I had a sudden onset due to a very difficult time. Does anyone know if I am duty bound to inform my employer that I have been diagnosed with OCD? X
  14. Thank you both for taking the time to read and reply. My ocd went away for about a year and has only just come back so maybe I do need to try more strategies and things on my own first. So grateful for this charity/forum and all its fab advice x
  15. Thanks so much for taking the time to respond GBG! It’s worrying isn’t it how many therapists there are out there that don’t have a real understanding of ocd but are assigned to treat it. I referred myself to the IAPT, I rang and OCD-UK (may even have been Ashley) recommended specifically asking for the Centre of anxiety disorders and trauma in London which I did but my doctor told me I can only get CBT here through the IAPT referral system. I do have BUPA but even with going private it’s the same worry! I have tried to research some private “ocd specialists” but again it seems that ocd is their specialist ALONG with 15 other disorders. Awful isn’t it, I just want to make sure I don’t delay useful treatment of this or make it worse x
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