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  1. Hi, I'm very much like you and I found a lot of help working through the 'overcoming low self esteem self help course in three parts' book from the 'overcoming books' CBT series. It has some really eye opening (for me anyway) and easy excercises to work out your core beliefs or 'bottom line' ie "I am bad" "I am unloveable" etc.
  2. Good post Phil. The single best standalone thing I have found to help with OCD is to never stay in bed after I have woken up, even for a minute. I have a wake up light which is great, and if necessary I set an alarm on my iPad and put it on the other side of the room to force myself to get out of bed. I'm trying to make my bed a 'no rumination zone' so if I wake up in the night I will get up and do something else until I'm too tired to think. It's was pretty awful in the beginning because I wouldn't get much sleep, but my brain seems to retraining itself to not associate being in bed with ruminating so I sleep much better now. I never allow myself lie ins, much like someone who struggles with alcohol, having just one is never worth the fall out for me.
  3. I've copied and pasted this one so I can refer to it again.
  4. You write really well. I feel like your post put into words how I often feel but can't quite find the language. I've always struggled with a constant guilty feeling that everything I do is wrong, I think a lot of it is due to my need for certainty and inability to accept that morality is not black and white.
  5. I'm not sure what to say, only I empathise and I'm thinking of you. W
  6. That's such a good, clear explanation, Ram - thanks! Wonderer - I also think having CBT therapy helps with everyday life too, I guess it's one benefit of having OCD - 'normal' people don't get the opputunity to learn CBT techniques even though I think they could be useful for most people.
  7. I have to confess it was a print out of that Wikipedia entry that I used to show my therapist and it stopped me from being endlessly told I had GAD. Now that I know better, it is certainly a confusing and misleading description, although it does contain a few gems of info.
  8. The OCD entry on Wikipedia is interesting, they start by saying ... "Primarily cognitive obsessive-compulsive disorder (also commonly called "primarily obsessional OCD", purely obsessional OCD, Pure-O, OCD without overt compulsions or with covert compulsions)[1] is a lesser-known form or manifestation of OCD." they then go on to use the term 'pure o' exclusively and also use ROCD, HOCD etc. although it is otherwise well written. Might be worth asking for it to be edited.
  9. Because of this discussion I did some googling of the term 'pure o' and read a few articles, and they taught me more about covert compulsions and as a result I ended up having a bit of a breakthrough today. I was diagnosed with OCD 8 months ago and had 20 CBT sessions and read several books but I've not made a lot of progress towards recovery despite really trying, but this evening I feel calm for the first time in months. This is because I realised that a lot things which I do, and I thought were simply part of my personality, for example reading about science, checking the news every few hours etc. are actually compulsions. So I tried cutting them all out, but at the same not actively avoiding them, and after an hour of intense anxiety this morning I now feel strangely rational. So, agreeing with mdlbrightchild, I do think there is a problem with insufficient info about recognising covert compulsions, and lack of understanding by some mental health professionals.
  10. Couldn't agree more Wonderer.
  11. Binge eating

    I would avoid fasting if you have a problem with binge eating. While you are fasting you aren't receiving enough calories so your brain will send out signals to seek out high calorie food and lots of it - if you are anxious it will be difficult to resist these signals. It is much better to eat a healthy diet with enough calories everyday if you have anxiety problems.
  12. I'm noticing now that sometimes my brain will throw out a random thought and yet at the same time my brain seems to automatically ignore it. Is this how 'normal' people think? Is this a treatment success? For example I was getting dressed when I thought "don't wear that" for no reason - the clothes were very ordinary, I'd already planned to wear them etc. - and without pausing or thinking it through I automatically carried on getting dressed - I didn't feel like I made a conscious choice to ignore the thought, it just happened. This moring I was listening to the news about gun control and I thought "give everyone guns". Normally this would disturb me because I think gun control is a good thing so I would then start examining all my political beliefs to try and work out what I really think, but this time I didn't bother. It feels very strange, like I'm not in conscious control of my thoughts, or even my body, but am I right in thinking this is how I should be behaving or am I being irresponsible? I feel like I'm being careless.
  13. This might help you... http://www.cpft.nhs.uk/Downloads/misc_downloads/Coping_with_sleep_difficulties.PDF its quite wordy but it's the notes from an NHS CBT sleep workshop, which I found really useful. I think the most reassuring thing I learnt was that if you lie down all night and feel like you haven't got any sleep your body has probably taken several 'micro-sleeps' that you weren't aware of - these micro-sleeps will be enough to stop you getting physically ill, but they won't be enough to stop you feeling tired. I know if you are feeling exhausted that knowledge might not be very helpful, but i found it helped me to worry less about getting enough sleep, and helped break the cycle of anxiety.
  14. Oh no, I've just spent an hour ruminating about rumination! I really like this post and wanted to reply, but I've gone and used it as excuse to ruminate! So, I'm just going to say I second what Taurean says, and I can vouch for the effectiveness of scheduled 'worry time'. I might come back later and explain my experience because it might be helpful to some people, but right now I need to go and do something else to stop myself ruminating about rumination! W
  15. Thank you! Have a lovely Christmas and New Year. W