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About Avo

  • Birthday 17/10/78

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  1. Hope and love

    That's a great story Phil, I have this theme myself (amongst other ones. ). Well done to you and your brother and sister in law for being so supportive too, its brilliant that you have built those memories with your Nephew.
  2. This is a very interesting thread, I do drink but not that much do to my work, (I have to be up at 5am everyday so drinking makes that much harder). I am aware that it could also interfere with my medication, (40mg fluoxetine daily) also I struggle with my weight and if I do drink there is the calories in the drink itself I then snack on food I probably would not have ate had I not been drinking. The last 5 years I have done dry January and actually quite enjoyed it. I think culturally in the UK alcohol is seen as a way to relax, a reward for a hard day/week etc.. When I first started going out and drinking it was the mid to late nineties and very much a lad culture, we would go out regularly and drink quite heavily. I was often teased for being a 'lightweight' as I could simply not drink the volumes my friends could without getting ill. At the time it frustrated me but looking back I am quite glad. it means I have never developed an issue with alcohol and can take or leave it, unlike I think my brother and father who were / have been certainly heavy drinkers. I am hoping this culture is maybe changing or has changed?, at least in some circles, I have read about young people who make a decision not drink? I think that's a good thing. I am not against drinking in moderation but personally feel better when I don't.
  3. Well done Emsie, a very positive start, as said if you have a bad day or hour or so, don't beat yourself up. The cognitive side will hopefully complete the picture for you, its a bit of a roller coaster and one i am still on. OCD is a cunning disorder and it's about trying to spot it's games. In a bad phase try and remember the positive and how anxiety can be horrid but it will fade eventually, and the satisfaction that you rode it out and didn't do what OCD wanted you to - the complusions. There is nothing like putting that theory to the test yourself and seeing it work.
  4. Hi All Just to add my bit, i think telling your other half that your OCD is playing up is fine, as long as it does not lead to any re-assurance seeking or confessing. My wife will sometimes ask where have i gone, meaning she thinks i have retreated within myself which is an accurate description. Re-assurance seeking and confessing has been a big weakness of mine over the years. I am better than i was but still slip now and again.
  5. Hi Emsie That is how i have tackled my compulsions too, start easy and work up your hierarchy. It can be a bit 2 steps forward 1 step back but if you persevere you should see results. Good Luck.
  6. Break free from OCD is available via the OCD UK website. It is a great help while waiting for your therapy to get going. I found it useful as it increased my understanding of OCD and helped me to identify when OCD is at play. I know the charity speak highly of it as well.
  7. Thanks Jennie, it does sound very similar to me. My wife has been very supportive thankfully but it has been very hard at times especially when we didn't realise it was OCD, I kept seeming to be side tracked by topics that would leave me floored and in a state of what is happening to me? why am I going through all this? I have struggled a lot of the years and have been very miserable indeed with a variety of themes. In the early years I was annoyed with myself thinking why can't I just pull myself together? why does my wife seem to be not as weighed down with random worries? what is wrong with me? I am more at peace now but not there yet. Thanks again. Avo
  8. Hi Jennie, I am still impressed with your achievements I think you should be proud of yourself. I am sorry the OCD then jumped onto your husband. It has a habit of changing tack when you feel like your getting to grips with it. I am sorry it caused such issues. Did your Husband and therapist have an understanding that it was OCD at work with you? I can relate as it's caused a lot of issues in my marriage, my wife when I first started displaying OCD symptoms (very early 2000's) was concerned as at first we both didn't realise what was wrong with me especially around the theme we have been discussing. I had a lot of very tough years and still struggle at times now. I agree this forum is very inspirational and I have learnt a lot from fellow sufferers on here. This charity in general deserves a lot of credit.
  9. Thank you for your feedback lost, its nice to think I maybe did the right thing. Hi Jenniewren Thank you for the explanation, it sounds like you have had very similar issues to me. I have avoided a lot of contact with my son, I have avoided a lot of bath times and been on hyper alert when in close proximity to him. Worried about looking at him naked - should I look or should I avert my eyes if I look at his private parts surely that means I am what I fear, a P? why did I look? cant even bring myself to type the word. - Groinal responses have been an issues too. and still are at times. Lots of re-assurance seeking from my wife over the years. I have come along way but am struggling with a few final things. I admire the way you have dealt with things jenniewren. I hope to get to the stage your at. Thanks for replying I have found it really helpful. Good luck with work on your other obsessions. Thanks again Avo
  10. Hello Taurean, Emsie and Bodger Thank you all for your feedback, i appreciate the time you have taken to reply to me. I find it hard to see the woods for the trees sometimes but i suppose that's what OCD can do to you, if you let it. Thank you all once again Avo
  11. Hi All, I was looking for a bit of advice please over what is 'normal' in the following scenario. My son was cuddling up to me earlier today and his hand rested a couple of inches from my private parts. I panicked as i often do when he cuddles me as kids hands can tend to wander as they wriggle to get comfy he often asks can he sit on my knee. Anyway i had a dilemma in trying to decide if his hand was 'too close' to my private parts as to be inappropriate, do i make him move his hand or allow him to keep it there? In the end i didn't get him to move it, and he re-adjusted himself anyway after a minute or so while i was fretting over this. In the past i have got him to move his hand if i feel it's 'too close' to my private parts For people without this theme of OCD what would you do in this situation?. There are a few things i struggle with as to what is normal. this type of thing is one of them. My therapist has talked about possibly getting an opinion on certain matters/situations that i struggle with from a cross section of people, to give me an idea of what is 'normal' we have however not yet got round to this . Thank you
  12. An update.

    Yes well done Lily, now you can work towards recovery. I have to agree with the comment about your English ,its excellent, I would have assumed it was your first language if I didn't know any different.
  13. Hello Everyone, Thanks for your responses, I think the combination of finding the woman attractive in these outfits coupled with the fact it dawned on my that it may / may not be suitable for a 5 yr old. If felt this was somehow inappropriate of me. Attraction to a person in a kids film, albeit they were an Adult. I suspect other parents would not have batted an eyelid even with an attraction element thrown in and may or may not have turned the film off. My Son also cut his finger in the garden today and I started to google tetanus. Its not been a good day. With my Man Flu / Car situation making everything more tricky and my resilience to things. Feel bad as my wife has just got back from work and is now taking my son out as I have not really felt well enough and I think he is getting a bit bored. I don't like not playing my part but I suppose I need to accept when I just need to rest. Thank you all again for your feedback, it's been appreciated. Avo
  14. Hi All, Can you help me work this out please? if I give a bit of background. I was letting my son watch a film we had pre-recorded for him , this was' Looney Tunes back in action ' and he was watching it while I was busy in the Kitchen putting shopping away. I kept glancing out to see if it was still ok as he can be quite easily scared and that the film was appropriate for a 5 yr old. It has cartoons mixed with real characters. (I knew with it being cartoon characters it would not be too bad but he can be scared by things you would not expect) A scene came on that worried me a bit, it involved a scantily clad woman in a couple of skimpy/provocative outfits, the next scene also did. I panicked as I thought is this appropriate for him to see?, at the same time these scenes I have to be honest I saw the appeal of the woman in these outfits. I asked my son if he wanted to watch something else and he said yes so I turned the film off. At 5 it would have gone over his head the thing I am worrying about I am sure, he was mainly just getting bored with this film. I have since 'googled' the film to find out it's rating when it was released, and it was classified as a PG, which I know means parental guidance. I am now panicking that I have let my son see something inappropriate of a sexual nature. In mitigating circumstances we don't normally leave him alone with TV unless its cbeebies. This morning has been very chaotic, I am suffering with a heavy cold, my wife went to get the shopping this morning, the car broke down at the supermarket. She rang to tell me. (Felt bad I normally get shopping but cos I am not well she swapped with me.) She was jumped started, came home dropped shopping off and headed to get the battery changed at Halfords. This all before she is due to help her parents out in their shop for a few hours today. So I have took my eye off the ball to say the least fielding calls from my wife and sorting the house out while quite honestly feeling quite rotten.. My wife has just called to update me on the battery and I told her about the incident. I feel this was a compulsion telling her, I have also been thrown by this whole episode have I been responsible turning this film off for reasons stated or have I or over reacted cos of my OCD and how I saw the woman. ? I am not sure I would have reacted quite the same if the scene had been or a different nature. I don't know if its relevant but one of my themes is to do with children though thanks to CBT I am much better than I was.
  15. Snowdog here

    Hello Snowdog, Well done on getting to the stage of being able to return to work, that's a massive achievement after 5 years away. In terms of OCD I think you should deal with it as you would no matter where you are. Use the techniques you have learned in CBT and put them into practise as I am sure you have already been doing these past months.. I don't think you need to do anything different on that score. Be confident in your ability- you have already come along way! Also don't expect too much of yourself work wise, you have been away a while and it will take you time as it would anyone to get back into things. Take things step by step. I don't know what you do for work but it you may well find it a distraction in itself by being back there. Good Luck Avo.