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constantworrier1989

Bulletin Board User
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    129
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About constantworrier1989

  • Birthday 28/05/89

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United States

Recent Profile Visitors

345 profile views
  1. Hey everyone! I was wondering - sometimes, when my relationship centered OCD isn't terrible, I get those "in love" feelings, or even just any happy feeling toward my partner. I tend to try to hold on to them, almost like I want to use that moment or that feeling to prove to myself that I do love him. Is that a compulsion?
  2. I'm going through a very similar thing right now, so I'm not the best person to give advice - I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!
  3. Thinking about it, you probably mean the latter. Sorry.
  4. So if I have doubts and anxiety after moving it might mean something about my relationship? Or do you just mean “worry” about them as in try to tackle them from an OCD perspective?
  5. Hi everyone. You might know that I’ve been dealing with OCD thoughts surrounding my relationship with my boyfriend. It’s been... a bit better lately. We’re moving to a different state in less than a month because he got a great job, and my anxiety is so high right now. This is going to turn into a rant and I’m sorry. It’s not even just anxiety related to him or our relationship, it’s also anxiety about money, change, packing, unpacking, selling things, and just about everything else involved. I get obsessed about every little thing and it stresses me out so much. I’m excited about moving but also really scared, and doubtful, and while logically I know this is normal I keep wondering if i should JUST be excited? Does it mean anything about our relationship that I’m also scared and doubtful? Just typing that I KNOW it’s normal but I can’t help but worry about it. What if I get sick of him while I’m there? What if he annoys me? Any time I even get a little annoyed with him I freak out thinking it means something even though I know it’s totally normal to be annoyed by your SO! It’s so frustrating and I’m trying to stop worrying about it but I just can’t! I get frustrated if I feel like he’s not doing enough to help even though he is. Then I feel bad about being frustrated and beat myself up about it even though I know it’s normal to get frustrated. And it doesn’t mean anything. I cant even have normal emotions (that mean nothing about the love I feel for him or the quality of our relationship) without stressing out about those emotions. I don’t know what to do. I try to just let the thoughts be and not analyze, but it also frustrates me because I just want to be happy and excited about this opportunity. Again, I’m reallt sorry about this post. I’m sure it’s just all rumination and rambling but I don’t know where else to do this. ?
  6. Trying to stop the spiral before it gets worse

    Thanks, everyone. I'm so weak when it comes to ruminating/ googling/ reassurance seeking.
  7. Trying to stop the spiral before it gets worse

    Is no one responding because I'm basically asking for reassurance?
  8. Hello again, everyone. Reddit has sent me down a ridiculous yet terrifying rabbit hole. There was a post about someone's drink being drugged, and one of the symptoms was "I felt very flushed as if I had a fever, and I could feel my heart beating.". Well, several months ago I was out with my boyfriend and had a similar experience. We were drinking outside (an area with high heat and high humidity), but I wasn't even close to being drunk. I began to feel lightheaded, like I was going to have diarrhea, and that same flushed/ feeling heart beat feeling. Now I'm panicking thinking my boyfriend drugged me?? This doesn't make any sense for a few reasons: 1) my boyfriend wouldn't do that (he has no reason to/ he's not that kind of person/ i don't even know where he would get that). 2) we came inside when I started feeling bad and I felt completely normal after just a little while of being inside in the air conditioning. This makes me think it was just the combination of drinking/ heat. Even so, I've spent the last half hour or so googling symptoms of overheating as well as symptoms of being drugged. I commented on that post asking pretty much this same thing and I've been refreshing and refreshing hoping that someone will respond... What do I do? Was I drugged? Was it just the heat like I thought initially?
  9. I’ve been doing these things excessively lately and I’ve been getting headaches because of the teeth grinding. Not to mention the fact that my fingers look bad and have bled. im pretty sure these things are caused by my anxiety, and at the moment I’m having trouble figuring out WHY I’m so anxious. My ocd has been present but not terrible. i guess the point of my post is, do other people have experience with this? Any tips or advice on stopping?
  10. Intimacy

    There are private places I could go to but I can’t afford it ?
  11. Intimacy

    No, I don’t have insurance so the only way I can get the antidepressant is to go to a low cost facility (US). All they have there are caseworkers who aren’t familiar with OCD and doctors who are better informed, but aren’t therapists unfortunately. A local college does have a program where students can “practice” on the public, but that makes me very nervous.
  12. Intimacy

    I’m on an antidepressant but no therapy.
  13. Intimacy

    I swear, it’s like I just can’t be happy. I was feeling really good today and then I started reading something about adultery and desire. Basically, people were saying that they were just not attracted to their partner anymore - they felt no desire to have sex with them. I’m afraid that this is me. I certainly felt this way about my ex and now I’m afraid that I feel this way about my current boyfriend. Not every time, but sometimes, I’ll avoid having sex with him because I just... don’t want to. He’ll start to kiss me and I’ll just pull away or tell him I don’t want to. I can tell it hurts his feelings and I hate doing that. Move never really been the type to initiate sex but now I’m worried that it means something. When we first started dating I would sometimes, but now I don’t. I know it’s normal to not always want to rip each other’s clothes off when you’ve been together for a while (we’ve been together about 1 1/2 years), but I’m worried that the whole thing is just doomed.
  14. Intimacy

    It could just be stress related, not necessarily OCD. I'm just wondering if this is normal or common for people who obsess about this?
  15. Intimacy

    Well I've been obsessing about whether or not I love my boyfriend for about 9 months now, and I think this is part of it...
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