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About constantworrier1989

  • Birthday 28/05/89

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  1. Thank you. I know it doesn't seem like it from my posts, but I really am trying.
  2. When you say I'll get closer, do you mean I won't ever just not question it like I did before? I may be reading way too much into what you said, lol.
  3. i personally love this talk on guilt that Ajahn Brahm, a Buddhist Monk gives. Give it a listen! It helped me out quite a bit when I was dealing with some guilt.
  4. Ugh, I'm starting to spiral deeper into this. I've probably mentioned this before but I'm worried about it AGAIN. I see other people's posts about this theme or whatever of OCD and they say they KNOW that they love their partner... all of this is centered around questioning my feelings for him and being worried that I don't love him, so how can I KNOW with 100% certainty? Does the fact that I don't have that certainty mean that I just don't love him?? I think logically I know the answer to this, since OCD is the DOUBTING DISEASE, but again... here I am freaking out because I don't have an underlying certainty about my feelings. Or maybe I do?? Clearly im ruminating quite a bit. Ugh. I'm also on my period so that doesn't help. I just want to hide under my covers ?
  5. Anyone?
  6. Can anyone relate? I'm worried maybe it's not normal to get annoyed with him...
  7. I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with this... sometimes my boyfriend annoys me. I know this is super normal, especially since we live together, but I guess my brain is making it a bigger deal than it should be. I worry that since I get annoyed with him (he gets VERY chatty at times lol), that that means it's not going to last etc. Do I just try not to worry about being annoyed? Also, I've stopped using my hormonal birth control (still using protection though, the last thing I need right now is a baby) and it seems as though it's really helping! It took a couple weeks to feel better but there is definitely a difference. Has anyone else experienced worse symptoms while on birth control?
  8. Will I ever feel like I did before? Not constantly questioning if I'm lying when I say I love him? I'm feeling really down at the moment.
  9. A few hours, at least. Does the fact that I felt numb mean anything? I mean people in a relationship can't feel "in love" constantly.
  10. I'm feeling really hopeless at the moment. He was home last night and this morning, and I felt almost numb toward him even though I was trying to feel love. He's at work now, but I'm afraid for him to come home because what if I still feel numb? This is so unfair. Before all of this I was the happiest I'd ever been in a relationship. Maybe that's why my OCD decided to latch onto it? ?
  11. Lol! I was trying to look into something about Venus being in retrograde a month or so ago for reassurance. Thank god the website was so annoying it gave me time to realize I was being dumb. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has looked for "signs" or proof in silly places.
  12. So I'm on my period, I came across a buzzfeed video about falling out of love, and I'm trying to not freak out. I'm trying to ignore the one similarity I had with a video created by a social media account while NOT trying to reassure myself that I love my boyfriend. Wish me luck ?
  13. I might just be venting at this point but here we go: when I'm not worried about my feelings for him, I'm constantly worried that I've annoyed him. Or that he doesn't love me. Or that he'll get sick of me. Or I'm not enough for him. To be clear, he has never once said any of these things or given me any reason to think them, I just think them and endlessly worry. I don't know if this is also OCD or if I'm just a crazy girlfriend ?
  14. I saw this just after I posted another comment. I'll check this out when I get home, thank you ? Edit: where can I learn more about the cognitive side?
  15. I almost feel like the fact that these thoughts aren't upsetting me badly is making me more anxious than the thoughts themselves. I had the thought, "well I don't love him so I should just break up with him" and I wasn't that bothered by it... but now I'm upset because I feel like this means I just don't have OCD and I'm not in love. I should note that I'm going to start my period soon. I'm going absolutely crazy right now ?