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About constantworrier1989

  • Birthday 28/05/89

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  1. Intimacy

    It could just be stress related, not necessarily OCD. I'm just wondering if this is normal or common for people who obsess about this?
  2. Intimacy

    Well I've been obsessing about whether or not I love my boyfriend for about 9 months now, and I think this is part of it...
  3. Intimacy

    So, this has been going on for a while now and I'm trying not to worry about it too much but obviously it's bothering me. When my boyfriend and I are going to have sex, I have the hardest time getting "ready" down there (I'm a female). I notice that I worry about it, like almost constantly, when we're kissing etc beforehand. I also pay attention to whether or not I'm "into" it, to the point where I can't really enjoy it. I feel like stress/ thinking too much about it is my problem... but I can't help but worry that it just means I'm not attracted to him. Does anyone else have this problem? Do I just try to relax?
  4. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    She's much better now. Instead of making a new thread I just commented on this one. I've been on hormonal birth control before and I think it made my OCD and anxiety worse. I now have a copper iud. Polar, I feel so overwhelmed at the moment. The random thought I had isn't even the main thing. I just feel like I don't love him anymore. I don't want to feel that way. I miss feeling so in love. I know it's possible to fall out of love but I don't understand how I could have... it was sudden and I remember the moment I started worrying about it and doubting it. This sounds like ocd right?
  5. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    I've had the thought before that if we broke up it might be better because then I wouldn't be worried about it. I feel like that's a normal thought with this OCD. However I just had a thought that if he died it might be good because then I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not I love him. I am absolutely freaking out now
  6. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    I meant to respond to you, PAVLIS97 and BelAnna but obviously went off on a tangent. Unfortunately, therapy isn't an option as I'm very tight in money and dont have insurance. A lot of therapists in my area aren't familiar with OCD anyway, so the whole thing seems hopeless. My mom is doing a lot better, sorry for any confusion caused by my continuing on this post. She nearly died, and it was terrifying, but she is better now - except for the fact that she broke a bone in her foot a few days ago and is miserable! I wish I lived closer to her so I could visit! BelAnna, I try to do as you say, to take my mind off of things... and it helps while I'm doing it but then once I'm done I'll usually find something else to freak out about. I like to read, embroider, hang out with my dogs, and listen to podcasts. Sometimes I think about how ridiculous it is that I have to constantly be doing something to keep myself from freaking out. Can I ever just rest?! Lol
  7. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    I'm trying hard not to ruminate. Obviously rumination is my biggest compulsion, along with seeking reassurance. I wanted to send a nice "I love you" gif to my boyfriend, and now I'm freaking out because there was one that said "love you, forever" and I didn't want to send that one. Or maybe it just caused me anxiety? I don't even know ?. Earlier today I saw something about being able to get married at a music festival that we're going to in November and I panicked because I don't want him to surprise me with that... we've talked about getting married and having kids and that's something that Ive wanted with him pretty much since the beginning, so I'm confused. Does this mean anything? Im pretty sure I'm just asking for reassurance again. Sometimes I think just typing it out helps, but is that a compulsion? Uuuugh
  8. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    I'm still having a hard time with this. It doesn't help that lately I've been getting a bit irritated with him over small things, like him talking too much etc. I know logically that it's totally normal to get irritated with each other but I just can't stop worrying about it! Yes, I've asked people and even my boyfriend if it's normal and they all laugh and say it obviously is - but it's like it's just stuck! This worry that something is wrong with my feelings for him because I get annoyed sometimes is so persistent. Is this stuck because I asked for reassurance? I got annoyed one day because he was tagging me in a lot of fb and instagram posts, which normally I enjoy and I even do the same to him, and my brain has been going crazy over this too! Then when I see that he's tagged me it's like I check myself to see if I'm annoyed, and then I feel annoyed! Or was I already annoyed? I have no idea and it feels like I MUST know in which order these feelings came to determine if my feelings for him are gone. I've also noticed that I'm extremely hard on myself about my feelings. It's like I'm a perfectionist toward them. If I don't feel or think a specific way toward something, it's automatically wrong and I should feel bad about it. There are all these signs that it's OCD, not my feelings for him having disappeared or gone sour, but it's like I just can't comprehend it or make it "stick". I suppose this is the nature of the beast, though. This definitely turned into a rambling rant, sorry!
  9. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    I'm having a really hard time. I feel constantly anxious but the thoughts/ feelings are always in the back of my mind. I try to just enjoy being around him and enjoy the relationship but I can't stop trying to "feel love". I'm so sick of this. I was so happy ?
  10. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    So I sit with it but then the question comes back... I think about it and still question if I love him or not. Is that my OCD fighting with me?
  11. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    I'm trying. It just feels like it will be the end of the world if I don't... which I guess also points to ocd. I'm trying to just sit with the anxiety. If the question comes up in my brain I distract myself. It's unbearable at first but it does feel better after a while.
  12. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    My boyfriend just asked if I really do love him and I feel so awful. I said I do love him and it doesn't feel like a lie but I know I'm going to question this later. Im so emotional right now because of my mom and my boyfriend (I'm 3 hours away from him) and I'm going to start my period at any moment. I don't know what to do besides cry. I just want to go to sleep
  13. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    Is all of this clearly OCD? I'm stressed about my mom and about to start my period and I'm so worried that my level of missing my boyfriend isn't enough. I should just treat this as OCD and not that my relationship is doomed?
  14. Mom in hospital and my OCD is going absolutely crazy

    Thank you Chaosed. I'm feeling a bit better now, just a little worried that I'm not like super excited about face timing with my boyfriend. I'm not not looking forward to it, I'm just not over the moon. Just typing that made me roll my eyes. I'm going to try to get some good sleep tonight, it's back to the hospital in the morning.