TheAuthor

I didn't know how to properly word this topic sorry. So I have this thing I always do where as soon as something happens I immediately start worrying about the future. Yesterday a friend said they think I'd do well at a sport snd I should just think about it. I thought it sounded okay but as soon as they said it I vegan thinking things like "will I have time" "I won't have time for my friends and we won't be able to spend enough time together" and "that'll be my entire time I'll have nothing else to do" and by this point I'm needing reassurance and I'm rethinking the whole thing. I was wondering if this is something related to OCD

Thanks, I will try that

I think it'll take some time, but I can try to not touch them a certain way and be able to allow myself to feel the uncomfortable urge to do it "right" and Eventually I'll get used to it. I'll remind myself nothing can happen from not touching a keychain. As for the ressurance, that's something I work on

I would say to tell me I'm not a bad person for doing this or not touching them a certain way but that would be the reassurance compulsion. Good point...

Hello hello. I've been absent from here. That's good! I've been well! Now I just wanted to ask about something that i have recently had brought to attention. Sometimes when I eat something I feel that I must not leave just one. For example, when I eat grapes and I have a bowl of them, I don't like leaving just one. I'm fine with leaving two or more but just not one. I don't like leaving the last of something that is single (grapes, slices of oranges) Also, bare with me and this is going to sound very odd I have these keychains that have faces on them, they are emoji keychains. I have three sitting on my counter. I feel that if I touch just one or two, the other one is left out. I know inanimate objects obviously don't have feelings but I feel that one will be left out. It's the worst to touch all but 1 but only touching 1 out of 3 is bad too. Ugh

Today I did something small and it was sarcastic I admit but we're all human, we all do things sometimes. My friend seemed upset and that upset me, I would never want to upset her. Now for s half an hour I've been literally crying and feeling that I'm having an anxiety spell Because what if she's mad ? She keeps telling me she isn't mad but I can't be sure, I shouldn't have hurt her feelings, now what if she thinks of me differently, what if I changed our friendship, I can't deal with how rude I must be, I have ruined it all. I'm seriously so distraught now over one stupid thing I did that she says was minor and now I've been worried for a half an hour and crying because I'm afraid I did something too bad and she'll hate me Is tjis OCD related?

Recovery. The absolute last shred of my control leaving. This week I have challenged myself so incredibly much I can't believe it. Im changing everythingand I feel like it's falling apart. I know bad things will happen, I know I'm screwing up I feel like everything in recovery is terrifying and impossible to ever get used to. Schedules Channing, facing fears, it's so hard. It's so scary. I don't think I can follow through but I don't want relapse. I know if I end this week and go back I'll never get the bravery again but it's so hard....

Okay, so I struggle with worrying about what I eat and intrusive thoughts. I worry if I eat bad or change my exercise I'll get fat or lose my fitness. This really upsets me and interferes with my day a lot Well recently (just this week) I've started to ease up on myself. For the last few days I've felt like my old self.slowly. I felt like I did before I considered everything I ate and worried everytime I eat junk food or something. But now I'm telling myself that there's nothing wrong that maybe the eating doesn't have to do with anxiety or ocd, maybe there's nothing wrong with what I do. Maybe instead of thinking of it as a win because I eat with out worrying it's just am excuse for.me to eat the way I shouldn't. Maybe I just baby myself and don't have anything wrong. It's strange because there are many day where eating and intrusive thoughts are bad and ruin my days but I'm telling myself it's all excuses and I don't deserve the "recovery"

I try sometimes but then once I allow myself I start worrying about losing control or making it too much of a habit

To an extent. I am happy I eat healthy because I used to not and now I feel better but sometimes I wish I'd just be able to say yes when offered junk food without thinking about it for a long time

Thank you and I appreciate it, it's just confusing because it's never like a number, I don't know ever weigh myself because frankly I couldnt care less, it's just I'm worried about the future. I like the feeling of control, and that's what I get from choosing my foods.

Okay long story. Im naturally underweight just a little, and I'm really short and while ago I got into exercise and eating healthy Because why not? Eating and exercise is healthy, makes health benefits. Well, I'm afraid of stopping. When I eat junk food I feel guilty and I'm scared I'm going to get fat suddenly. I'm afraid I'll just start gaining and get obese. I like to workout and I feel like im afraid I'll get fat and not be able to wear workout clothes, not be able to work or, not be able to eat healthy, not have this stuff, etc. I'm afraid of it and I always think of what I eat and stuff and my exercise and I just get so worried And I worry i won't have time to workout Note I am not upset with my body currently I am happy with the way I am, i DON'T want to lose weight at all, I know I'm naturally thin, it's not that I don't like what I see, it's that I'm worried one day I will have to face looking fat and losing control I sometimes tell myself to just eat the junk food because then I'm not giving into the worries but then I'm like "no, you don't have any excuses" and I feel it's bad and ugh

How did you ever move past the guilt and worry? I mean I can barely eat two take out meals a day without feeling immense guilt and worry! I mean how did you even begin to combat the intrusive thoughts Because like I said I am just plagued with intrusive thoughts and guilt and fear whenever I eat those things/do those things. It's so hard

Thanks for your reply. I congradulate you for starting to get better and although it might not seem like it, I'm managing better as well. I have had these intrusive thoughts for years, they've just not always been about eating and exercise. I understand what you're saying and the fear of losing control is what allows the thoughts to be distressing

Okay, so this is a little hard to explain. Sometimes when I eat something I get really worried. Like for example I'll convince myself something bad is going to happen like if I eat junk food then I'll convince myself I'm going to lose my fitness or something bad will happen and if I don't eat healthy I worry I'll lose it as well I get really guilty and kinda worried whenever I eat anything that's not healthy. It's nothing to do with my weight but I am afraid of losing my fitness goals I've achieved and I'm always just having these thoughts running through my head when I'm eating and skipping exercise for more than a few days worries me too