PureOfied

Thanks for your feedback.

I want to be done with SSRIs as ive been on them for 13 years and there doesn't seem to be much information on long term side effects. I wouldn't know if ive been having side effects because i dont know what im like without the SSRIs since its been so long. I went off a couple times but relapsed and went back on. Has anyone come off of them successfully and stayed off?

How do you know? Are you sure? Why doesn't this question bother you? How can you ever really tell? Never know, right? Isn't anything possible? Blah blah bla...that's OCD It likely doesn't bother you because it has nothing to do with your values, morals, beliefs, etc... it doesn't make you question yourself as an individual and instill fear in you. What if I then asked you, could you live with the uncertainty that you may find inanimate objects attractive one day? You know, pencils, t-shirts, faucets, etc... you'd probably say "yeah, sure, whatever man" because it wouldn't bother you at all. Tackling this is no different than that. You could question yourself on just about anything and the reality is, we can't ever really be 100% certain about anything because there aren't guarantees in life no matter how bad we want certainty. Accepting the uncertainty is the key to treating this thing. It's not ruminating, doing mental rituals and all the other **** that we naturally try to do. It's just like you could accept the uncertainty about not falling head over heels for a door knob or a park bench. By telling the OCD, "yeah sure it's possible" you have began to defuse it, why? Because saying "anything is possible" is the only thing that is 100% true. Anything truly is possible. You aren't telling yourself "I am not enjoying this act" because that's an absolute statement which contradicts the fact that "it's possible." OCD slowly begins to take the death grip off of you because it can't fight back when you look at it in the face and say "sure, whatever you say Mr OCD, my fears are all possible, I guess I'll kick my feet back and take my chances because I refuse to live in this misery. I accept that anything is possible in this life and there are no guarantees." Does that make sense? That is the Cognitive Behavrioal that kicks OCD straight in the face. It can't fight you when you just accept the thought and fear without trying to find and absolute because you become comfortable with uncertainty. Obviously, when one starts to implement this, anxiety goes up because your beginning to unwind the thought process you've been using to cope with. However, that is the therapeutic benefit because eventually you become desensitized because the OCD can't ever really win at that point. The ERP component is putting yourself in that situation and the CBT component is accepting the uncertainty "sure OCD, anything is possible and I am live with that" and that's it. No following up on it. No thinking about it trying to solve the riddle or questioning every emotion or act. It's just taking it for face value. Its always best to work with an OCD specialist until you get the hang of these very important and evidence based tools toward treating OCD.

Do you find inanimate objects sexually attractive? Such as handbags, forks, cars, envelopes, maybe furniture, etc...

OCD is a hypochondriac. Latches to anything that is considered taboo by social norms, unlawful, or health crisis and provides the dawning question of "what if..."

OCD is like mathematics. It is a universal language. If you have OCD, doesn't matter where your from, what language or religion or anything. We all can empathize with each other. We can share every fearful thought and know that it's a safe place where people will understand. No matter how dark and/or scary it may seem. It's great to have a forum such as this. This illness keeps people from seeking assistance because they don't know any different and are scared of sharing. Thank God we are alive today when there has been many advances in psychotherapy and the human brain at an exponential rate. 70-100 years ago a person with OCD didn't have a name for their condition and didn't have anyone to speak to about for fear of seclusion. This is no longer the world we are in. We should all be super thankful for that.

Thanks for sharing. Always good to have some additionally resources

Jasmine, I am sorry to hear that you're in the heat of the struggle right now. You absolutely can work through this cycle. OCD is real tough. Definitely no denying that. Remember though, as cliche as it sounds, you really aren't alone. All of us are struggling right alongside of you. We too have real hard days and some not so hard days. We all share the same exact struggle in that we trying to solve these thoughts that try and force us to believe that they're legit and we want 100% proof that we will never get. No matter how many GoPros you buy. As a side note, I have a GoPro and they're pretty cool little cameras but just for fun not for therapeutic use I say this...take a long breath, roll your sleeves up and get in there and shove your elbows around to give yourself some room. Allow yourself the permission to not try to find an answer to prove to yourself anything. We all know this, but it is important to give yourself this room. Not just because it's vital but because you deserve a break. Trying to find an answer and asking people if you had sex with them is only making you sicker. You have to turn the car around and go the other way. It's a long journey but it is certainly more helpful. We have to learn to live with uncertainty, even if it puts a lump of anxiety in our throats. One thing I learned in ERP is to make the issue bigger than your mind has even thought of. Sometimes it becomes pretty funny because it becomes so bizarre. Ive found that its always best talking to yourself out loud in private. It is far more effective because you begin to realize that everything in your mind is so jumbled that you can't help but laugh when you make it bigger than it is. Give no credence to the thoughts by just making it even bigger. To a point where your imagination has nowhere else to go. "Hey you know what? Perhaps I wasn't with just one person, perhaps I was with the entire staff on the first floor including the janitorial service and everything." "Maybe tomorrow I'll make sure to hit up the entire staff on the second floor and maybe sleep with staff on 3rd floor by lunch. Gonna be a long day tomorrow. I better get my rest." Doing this out loud on your own may seem odd at first but eventually it will begin to seem real silly. It will help you become desensitized slowly. No mater how disturbing the thought, you can always beat the thought around because it's just that...a thought. The most important part is to not try and prove to yourself that you haven't done anything wrong. Learning to accept the uncertainty is vital. I have intrusive thoughts just like you. Maybe not the same theme but a very similar process. I've had to take my thoughts and say to myself "sure, thats possible, it could happen, maybe it already did, I guess I never will really know. Oh well, that's life." Btw, I paid a specialist OCD doctor. One of the best in the country $300 an hour to learn this behavioral concept of ERP and it has changed my life and that is literally the answer. Take all the fears and thoughts and everything and say over and over to yourself that anything is possible and learning to accept that. Sure it's scary, but eventually it becomes easier. The increased anxiety eventually subsides from doing this technique often enough out loud. The heightened anxiety that it initially provides is actually the therapeutic benefit from it as odd as it seems. It's like having to drive over the hill to get to valley on the other side. This to me is now it's second nature. I do it all the time when a trigger comes to mind. All the techniques that have shown the most promise for us with OCD is CBT and ERP. It's a counter intuitive illness that can be treated.

The wait to lower your anxiety by not doing compulsions is to not do the compulsions. The increase in the anxiety is the therapeutic part of it all. Initially there will be pop in it and then it will subside to a lower baseline. If you feel physically antsy you can talk to your doctor about meds or work on deep breathing to help the physical symptoms. It's incredibly important to not do any of the rituals or compulsions or anything to help your "mind feel better." It will, once your brain begins to realize that your fear doesn't happen when you do nothing and becomes desensitized to the fear with time. This whole thing is kind of like a chemical reaction that requires an activation energy to proceed with the reaction. It comes up, which is the activation energy needed, analogous to increased anxiety, then it drops lower than the energy of the reactants. If that makes sense. A little chemistry 101

Thanks for the feedback all

Your OCD seems to have stemmed into how you think. Your likely confused because you've been ruminating about it. Questioning whether you like or don't like what your thinking about or what you are tasting or doing perhaps.This is OCD but the theme is your thinking. Your obsessing over whether you may never think about what you want to think about again. This may make it depressing for you. That perhaps your thoughts will always be tied up into something you don't care to think about. However, like you said, you don't want to gain reassurance and therefore aren't looking up answers. Good for you. You get better by accepting the fear and stating that " i just have to accept it. That i may never think about what i want to think about again. That i may just need to get comfortable because thinking about what I don't want to is here to stay. This may just be the new normal. I might as well kick my feet up and take in all these great thoughts I don't care to think about. I may just make a big ol bag of popcorn and chow down as I think about all these things I don't want to think about...etc" This is accepting the fear that is causing you confusion. It's truly believing it and not just saying it. Beat it at its own game. I know...easier said than done!

So, I was at the gym pumping some iron last week. I decided to do squats (an excellent workout and one of the best for you btw). Anyway, after I finished my set I was so out of breath and all of a sudden it felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I got dizzy, nauseous, etc...then I was like, whoa! Nuts. Let me do this again...so I did another set, and bam, same result! I've been working out for a long time but for some reason my body put together that panic attacks and excercise as they have VERY similar symptoms. I never had this happen before. Anyway, after that experience my body felt anxious for the next couple days. I attribute it to work stress. I had minimal OCD with this round, although It was the perfect breeding grounds for latching onto a fear and letting the OCD whisk me away. Every time it tried to come in, I just accepted the fear and told myself it was possible and eventually went through having the physical anxiety with minimal to no OCD. However, my body was in a roast of anxiety. I think this is what my OCD comrades would call as being "normal" anxiety with minimal no OCD. Well guess what? The physical feeling of anxiety still was awful and wasnt any better. So if thats what being "normal" is, the grass ain't any greener on the other side. No, I won't stop working out. In fact, I look forward to getting back in there. If and when it occurs, I can use it as a good opportunity to implement coping skills to see how I can beat reduce the symptoms.

Hey Polar, question... some time ago you stated that rumination is a compulsion. Do you consider it a compulsion because one is trying to "solve the problem" in hopes of finding relief? If so, would you state that the best way to fight rumination is to take the very fear and say "its possible, my fear could happen and I have no control over it." and thus accepting the fear every time one begins to ruminate? It can become repetitive just because the mind will want to ruminate. I just don't know if the repetition would eventually become a ritual. I don't think it would just because the ritual would then be to just accept the though and the possibility that the fear could occur. Thus, it wouldn't be so much of a ritual because one is purposefully trying to increase their anxiety by accepting the thought rather than finding temporary relief from conducting a ritual. Anyway, insight would be great. Thanks

I agree with Polar. Its called Magical Thinking and a true hallmark of OCD. I had the same thing as a kid. If I didn't step on all the cracks on with my right heel and then an equal number on my left heel, I believed something bad could happen. I eventually began challenging this thought by doing the exact opposite. I've gotten so good at it that I literally do everything completely opposite from the thought even as an adult. I make a smoothie for breakfast every morning for my wife and I. Every morning I have the same thought....If I don't give her an equal amount or more than my smoothie, I will have a bad day at work. Therefore, every morning, she gets a smaller smoothie than me! haha. She doesn't even know this. I should probably tell her I've been cutting half on the smoothies and taking more for myself. LOL.

Agree with Caramoole. The outcome you need to try and achieve is finding no reassurance. Until you do that, you will only make yourself sicker. You need to beat your mind at its own game by egging it on. Yes, that will cause severe anxiety, but that's the point. Doing this is best by visiting a doctor and practicing with them and then working on it on your own time until you get really good at it. Every time it comes up see it as an opportunity to work on your coping skills.