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paulfoel

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  1. Yes I'm sure it is - a lot of the rage is due to his worry about things - I know that. In an ideal world, we'd be able to put up with it. But its affecting everyone else now - his mother, me, his little sister. We've tried to get him to go to another room when he feels the rage coming on and promised we'll speak to him in an hour or so when hes calmed down. (Any sooner we've found he just stays calm for 5 mins and is then off again). Its like saying if the whole family stand in the middle lane of the M4 for 5 minutes he'll be completely cured. Great idea but its going to have serious consequences on the family and isn't a good idea! He has a CAMHS appt next week when he comes home from his trip. Its with a nurse to start with so I'm a little concerned that there's going to be a further delay. He did have an appt with an NHS mental health primary care counsellor last week - seemed to go well at first. Some good ideas. She did a "contract/agreement" of sorts to try and get things sorted which seemed a good idea- lasted about a day that did! Also feedback from his counsellor we pay for indicates he is just not willing to listen and try things - I just fear further offers of counselling are going to be pointless. He kicked off AGAIN last night. Very aggressive, threatening, and confrontational. At the moment, we've got to keep his little sister away from him because hes just so unpredictable. Like I said before, its pointless explaining that he just can;t do these things but he ignores. Not ideal because it seems to be punishing him for his illness but we found that one thing that makes him think is access to his hand gel. We've had to tell him now - no hand gel if he continues like he is. Yes I know - its probably not right but I hope you can all appreciate we have to do SOMETHING and quickly. Like I said, we're one step away at the moment, from having to call the police and/or social services for the safety of everyone else. And thats going to make things a whole lot worse I think..
  2. PB - yes thats our thinking too with the school trip. At school hes admitted he just does not drink so he doesnt use the toilet. Not healthy of course. But it is going to be tough to get our head around if he can cope with unknown places but not at home....
  3. Hi Ashley - hear what you're saying and I know its not his fault. Trouble is we have to do something otherwise its going to get worse. We can no longer function as a family at the moment unless something changes.
  4. Funnily enough there are no problems at school. We've had to let the school know. Hes off on school trip to iceland next weekend. Can guarantee hes not thought how hes going to cope - on bus, plane, in shared hotel room. This weekend he refused to leave the house for an hour because he didnt want to use a public toilet! Not sure if I mentioned, on recent family holiday he blocked toilet on plane due to misuse (i.e what he does), then denied it and threw something in my face (this was on the plane!). We considered cancelling (we've already paid for it but thats not important) but, in a way, we thought it might do him good to be on his own a little and deal with things a bit (and grow up a little). Also, keen to see if he plays his teachers up in the same way he does with us - if he can manage to deal with his issues a little better because he wont shout at his teachers then it proves he can do it if he tries. It might all kick off of course, but, since, so far, the school have offered no help at all (they think hes the perfect child) then we're hoping involvement from the school also may get something moving quicker in terms of help for him. We've given them the full story but I don't think they quite believe us. Finally, the rest of us really do need some time away from him. Every day for, I'd say, the last week, at least once a day hes lost his temper and screamed and shouted about something. Its making everyone else ill. Unfair on the teachers on this trip but hes someone else's problem for a few days.
  5. Thanks PB. We've tried and tried. Just wish he'd spend 1/10th of his energy on trying to help himself/take on advice than he does with arguing. At the moment, he seems obsessed that hes got to be right, its everyone elses fault, no-one else matters, and hes been wronged by everyone else. To be honest a lot of arguments are due to his use of hand gel. In conjunction with therapist we're trying to cut down his usage (he uses 100ml a day - which is a lot) but he seems to lie, steal (we've haf to put locks on cupboards) to get it - its like a drug addict in a way. He seems to care nothing at all for anyone else and does use his OCD as an excuse for his behaviour. I know hes having problems but he just does not seem to care what hes doing. He now refuses to tidy up, leaves the house in the mess etc. Not sure I mentioned before his mum has fibromyalgia so sometimes its tough for her. This is having a very bad effect. We're trying to help him but its got to stop. We've tried to have adult conversations and tell him its unacceptable, its even got so far as you've said, with mention of police, social services etc. He does not give a monkeys. All he says is I hate you and thinks its another threat to get at him. He really is breaking the family apart at the moment. I dont want to give up on him but hes really having a negative affect on the rest of the family at the moment. I just fear that hes going to push things further and further and end up hurting his little sister or his mother. He tries it with me but I've learnt to let it go now - even though sometimes I think a good hiding would do him good I know its not going to help. One thing - I know his mother will give him one back if he ever tries up but of course I dont want it to go this far.
  6. Getting worse. Has now taken to blaming everyone else. I understand this and we've tried and tried. He goes to see counsellor but next day hes back to normal. He just cannot be bothered. Hes aggressive, violent. He punches things, he throws things. Its getting beyond. He will stand in the middle of the room and scream at the top of his voice. You try to calm him and ask him to go to another room to calm down but he refuses and stands there and says what are you going to do about it. A lot of the time this is in front of his 4 year old sister who he also treats badly. I'm afraid its going to come to a head and we're going to have to take drastic steps. Hes going to do something stupid like hurt his sister or punch someone. What we can do? Tempted to call social services and get them to take him away temporarily. Don;t want to do that and appreciate the problems he has but I'm not so sure hes safe to be in the house at the moment.
  7. Private child psych

    Waiting for a referral. I've found the nhs mental health service in our area at least is just not fit for purpose when it comes to kids. Waiting months and months with no action is just not acceptable.
  8. Private child psych

    Sorry psychiatrist. I just want him to see someone to determine the best course of action be it meds or counselling. GP thinks meds are appropriate but they are unwilling (or unable) to make that decision. I can afford certain costs - I dont think we have much choice. But there is a limit.
  9. CBT for a 8 year old

    So do I but I think they have a job on their hands.....
  10. CBT for a 8 year old

    Must admit I do wonder about CBT. Our 13 year old is about to see CAMHS and I have no doubt they'll consider the CBT route. Son is already seeing a counsellor and doing CBT stuff. Problem is, and I can well believe it, is that counsellor reports that son just won't engage or try, or take on board any suggestions. Pretty sure it will be a complete waste of time for him because he just wont bother.
  11. Never seen anything like it. Don't seem to be any around (my area at least). Found one - £900!!!!! Wow. Best option so far is online one - £150 for 30 min parent appointment, then £300 for actual child appt. Not cheap.... :-(
  12. Yes previous experience shows the NHS is littered with this sort of thing. As the old saying goes "What do call a doctor who was bottom of his class at medical school?". Answer - "Doctor".
  13. Thanks lynz for the explanation. Seems sensible if only it was possible to get a CAMHS referral in an appropriate amount of time. I can see where they're coming from with this but, to, in effect, do nothing for months and months is scandalous to be honest. I've looked for private child psych and to be honest I was surprised. I assumed I could call local BUPA, make an appointment, £200 (which is what I paid recently for a consultant for my nect problems). Nope. Very hard to even find a specialist (in my area anyway). I found one - £900 !!!!! Found another - 2 months wait list. Best option at the moment is an online one. Not ideal and you would have thought it'd be a bit cheaper with no office overheads etc. £150 for 30 mins appt with parents, then £300 for normal appt. Not cheap.
  14. Son, 13, diagnosed with OCD by GP and referred to CAMHS. Been months waiting for CAMHS appt - finally got one with psych nurse at CAMHS. We've also been paying for him to see a counsellor. GP says medication may be appropriate but they cant legally prescribe until seen by specialist. Is this true? I'm sure the psych nurse is very good but I'm still concerned about the further delay. Looking at private option but price so far is £900!!!! (bit much that!). Surely there are other options?
  15. Thanks Ashley. His appt with CAMHS has come though - but its with the psych nurse.I suppose this is expected due to the under funding of the service. We visited the GP again recently who said medication is not an option until hes seen by a psychiatrist. I'm assuming that it needs to be escalted further becaus the nurse cant prescribe anyway?
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