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cutebunny

Bulletin Board User
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About cutebunny

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  • Location
    Europe (non-UK)

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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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170 profile views
  1. My sexuality?

    Thank you for replying and yes, i guess i need to set up an appointment soon
  2. Hi there, i was doing fine for like a month I guess? Now here I am, questioning my sexuality. Thing is i have a fetish that i can’t explain to no one about a body part. I Watch videos of it on youtube, usually of men (I’m a woman) but recently i really enjoy watching videos from this woman. Yes, i do masturbate to that and get turned on by it. Does this mean I’m bisexual? Also i have intrusive thoughts of having a crush on an internet friend i enjoy talking with. Do i really have a crush on her? Or is it my ocd?
  3. Hello, so i have an exam this Tuesday and it's important because i might fail a class for the second time. I can't focus to study I'm also discouraged. Moreover, i spend too much time on social media. yesterday, on my fan account i saw about a fan a year younger than me, i am 21. But she's a pedophile and she writes sexual things about underage celebs and dated a 12 year old. I got so triggered because I'm afraid of being a pedo. I slept well till 9 am and i fell asleep again till 10:30. Meanwhile i saw a dream where i did sth kinky with someone i shouldn't with. I woke up with a feeling on my clitoris, a feeling that comes from joy. I felt so bad. I went to meet a friend i haven't seen for 5 years and we had a good time but all of an sudden while we were eating my heart started to beat fast. She came home w me. I thought that i might hav sexual feelings for her. But i didnt do anything. At home i tried to study but then i started crying from all the stress. I opened my fan account on twitter and I saw my favorite member of my favorite group. A fan commented that his eyes are red and i then realized it. I love him so much and i don't want hin to be sad. I felt like dying because he's sad and he's sad of fame, i am his fan so i make him sad. I think of suicide a lot today. Please help me. Am i a pervert? Why do i feel this way about a man that will never see me?
  4. Fear of holes Some say it's not real but I firmly believe it is, because those pictures of holes really disturb me. Also I am disgusted by things being stuck/embedded in each other. Like ingrown hair, my legs had quite a lot of them and i'd hurt trying to get rid of them, my legs are still covered with their bruises. There was construction of pavements in my campus during fall, which resulted in leaves being covered under cement, you can still see the leaves under it and i feel so uncomfortable, I get shivers thinking about them. Also something so weird just happened. I was eating watermelon and I saw seeds in it, like 10 or something in a small piece. It irked me and i found it very disgusting, now i feel nauseous. Is it a real phobia? Is it related to my ocd? Anyone feeling the same way?
  5. I am bad at giving advices or so at ocd but all i can say is you're unfortunate about your neighbors. Breathing exercises can help you distract from those thoughts along with muscle relaxing exercises.
  6. I couldn't find a better title so here it goes my family are conservative Muslims, they're modern, we live in Turkey which is secular, we go to swim together with every gender, we don't wear headscarves. but still they believe Islam strongly. I have been raised like that. But now I don't really know if I am still a Muslim. I am fed up with the community and them being overly conservative. I also don't understand why God would send religions. Anyways, I'm not gonna discuss these. Today is the first day of Ramadan and i didn't fast, i wouldn't if I was still a Muslim because i have finals to study for. But today the conversation i had with my friends came to Ramadan and she said she's an atheist so she doesn't know so why don't I know. I replied her:"Well, I'm a deist" also on twitter this girl kept saying:"why do atheists criticize only Islam?" Referrig to Turkish atheists i think. I felt the need to explain that they criticize their own environment and i mentioned that I'm a a deist. But now i feel bad for saying I'm a deist and i want to go back to Islam because I'm scared of hell. Though i still don't understand why God would need us to believe in a religion. However, i think doors of Islam are closed for me and God and prophet Mohammad won't accept me back. Also i have been hung up on a music group and i have been listening to their songs and watching their interviews a lot recently. I wake up and look for their news. Now even they make me stressed. I had an anxiety attack in library for hours and now I'm in my place because i couldn't take it anymore. Are these normal? Can i go back to Islam? Will that music group make me happy again?
  7. Hi, i am here with something stupid again so on twitter, tumblr and instagram maybe some of you have noticed but everyone "wants to die" lately. Idk how many of them literally means it but i don't, i need to see a few things first, like i have a few reasons to live. For example finals week:"i wanna die" or seeing a hot picture of someone:"i wanna die" etc the other morning i said:"i hope this choker actually chokes me and i ***" then a few hours later i noticed something odd on my skin, i feared it could be cancerous (turned out it was harmless, but could be God's call) and like 10 minutes ago, i was watching a video of a band i like and this member gives me feelings of happiness and admiration. He smiled and i literally whispered:"oh my God i want to die" and i then remembered tonight is an important night in our religion and my "prayer" is death when i don't really want it. It sounds so stupid but i don't really think of it as literally dying when i say it. That's just a popular thing to say and my mouth is used to it now. im not even that religious but my obsessions have been about religion too. And about death. Now i don't want to literally die. But why do i keep saying it? Maybe i made God mad and i will actually die...
  8. In Love and Scared

    thank you so much, i saw this earlier but couldn't reply because i was on my phone. whenever the intrusive thought came i thought ''it's just on paper'' and an update: i messaged him and he replied back, we will be meeting soon i'm not head over heels for him right now but i'm really happy he accepted. Thanks everyone
  9. In Love and Scared

    This is so true, i have compulsive thoughts about not forgetting him and even harming others because of that when these are almost non correlated. Yeah, i kind of believe in fairytales so I do think only one person is the one and love at first sight is real. Not really reasonable. i will try to be more social from now on. And gonna try to focus on my classes even though i have adhd too. Thanks so much
  10. In Love and Scared

    ^^ Thanks for your replies Also, my mom said the exact same thing as you snowbear, she said i can't know i'm in love with him because we have barely even spoken. I suck at lovelife, i have experienced relationship but i'm still so naive i guess. I think i need to focus on my future more instead of this. Which I never do. Or I should interact with my friends more. My fear is that what if i never forget him? What if we are true for each other? and all that goes with it. i want a healthy relationship, i really do. I want to have a family with a nice man. I'm only 21 but i'm afraid of not finding that person. Maybe that's why I am so obsessed with him.
  11. In Love and Scared

    I don't know, all these are giving me physical symptoms OCD does. I will be so sad to move on because he's like the guy I am looking for, we have the same interests and he's not a racist and homophobic douchebag like most boys around me
  12. So I've already mentioned how much i'm in love with this guy i met at a class party back in december. I haven't seen him since then but 2 weeks ago he crossed my mind and I found him on facebook. Seeing his posts and realizing how similar we are, i fell in love with him even more. I sent him a friendship request on wednesday but he is yet to accept it. Though he hasn't posted anything since tuesday so I still have hopes. But what if he never accepts it? How will I get over him? Do I want to get over him? What if he's not straight? What if he's taken? Then, what if I hurt him or his partner? I am so scared and physically in a stressed condition right now, I am literally re-typing all my words because my hands are shaking. PLEASE help me
  13. Relationship OCD

    He still hasn't accepted but he hasn't posted anything either so I'm still waiting... also i mean hurting myself or others by doing something bad
  14. Long story short, i met a guy at a class party 2,5 months ago. He seemed sort of cute to me but unfortunately we had no connection so i haven't talked to him since then. Lately I found his facebook and found out that we have similar interests and this grew my crush to him. I thought of what to do, finally i have decided to add him. It's been a few hours since I requested him and he still hasn't accepted it. I feel so bad, i wanted to date him. Moreover, I'm scared of obsessing over him or doing something bad. I want to be the normal me, i don't want to lose hope in life. But i think of him even in the exam, i think I'm really in love, people say it's a nice feeling but i don't think so! What should i do to feel better?
  15. Hi everyone, so my OCD is getting worse and my anxiety level has been so high that i'm struggling to type these sentences right now. 1) No one knows about my OCD except for my parents, my therapist and a doctor. I wanna share it with my friends sometimes because i feel so really low and it's such a hard battle for me, also I live away from my family. 2) These days I have grown new habits. I keep having weird dreams for the last 2 weeks. (not a habit i know) I keep getting sleepy during the day even though I sleep enough (i have adhd also and i don't take meds for that) 3) There is this guy with a psychological problem in my department. He kept saying how he had no friends etc. Now he's friends with us. I was afraid of what if he has a crush on me but then today, I started worrying what if I have a crush on him and this honestly freaks me out, I don't want that but it also feels like I lowkey do like him because I feel him close to myself since he probably has social phobia or sth. But it makes me wanna cry to think that, I really don't wanna have a crush on him! Please help me:(
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