hazydaze

I wouldn't worry too hard as I'm deleting my account right after this. There are some marvelous aspects about this forum, but it isn't moderated properly at all. It's been a slice - 5 or 6 years. Byeeeeeeeeeee

You know what, rereading what I just said -- I don't think you deserved my anger, and I am sorry. It was everyone who ignores everyone else, and tends to like one or two people, leaving others to feel like an absolute bag of sh!t.

I also don't recall calling you a loser but I'll have to go back and check. Sorry if I did. just checked, and I read that English isn't your first language so totally fair enough, but I didn't say you were one, but your actions were "like a loser."

I am sorry for the level I got to. I was really angry, and I think I went too far. You don't know how it feels to sit on here and wait for someone to respond. Thinking that since no one has replied, you don't have OCD and people must think that what you said isn't OCD. Have you felt that? I didn't mean to belittle how you feel, but I just don't think you have taken into account how terrible others feel. And you just don't stop. "Ok, I understand." 3 minutes later, a gigantic post with the exact same stuff you've been saying this whole time. I probably shouldn't have said anything because I have a hard time controlling my limbic system when it gets going.. but I lost it and felt something had to be said.

It was me. And I never, ever said you were a pedophile.

For the ones who are suffering and feeling like there is no hope -- there is. It will get better. You will need to deal with a sufficient amount of pain before arriving at a peaceful state of mind. But please, hang in there. I have seen a lot of suicidal ideation over the years of being on this forum, and for anyone reading this -- suicide is not the answer. You can get better, and we are here for you! I've been suicidal, and I get it. I also get how you are worth so much more. Don't give up

Well said. I really like the alcoholic analogy.

Your case is curious to me as you really did cheat on your wife, isn't that right? I'm no saint, but I wouldn't be able to cheat on my partner and not tell them. It would eat me up inside. Maybe you're feeling guilty cause that was a horrible thing to do? I'm not saying you're a horrible person. Everyone makes mistakes. But to be honest that was real sh!tty of you and maybe you should tell you wife. If my guy cheated on me and was trying to chalk it up to OCD worries and he should just let it go..... well he could say bye to a certain appendage. But that's just me. I can't good naturedly say oh yeah this is just OCD. Like no. You did something horrid and feel guilty. That's my two cents anyway. I've never come across a post that I didn't really think was OCD but I guess there's a first time for everything. There could be some mixed up in there but you actually did cheat and know that it was wrong. I'd say tell the truth. Lies are bad for the soul and pretty sure your wife deserves to not be married to someone who sticks it in another woman and then lies to her face? People make mistakes but I know that I would want the truth. This is maybe super ****** of me but I don't think so - I feel bad for your wife! Idk how anyone else could let you go with "Oh yeah, it's fine." Guess they have never been cheated on? I say fess up and then let the pieces fall where they may. If you were my guy and it came out later, holy sh!t you'd be sorry haha. Or you can pretend it's OCD and have it resurface all the time because it's actually guilt. Sorry not sorry for being real. Hope you do the right thing!

You've got that right!! And honestly, and unfortunately, girls are sexualized at such a young age and made to look older than they are at times. Fair enough that she could look significantly older at a certain angle, especially considering she was on a catwalk being dressed up and in a sense exposed at such a young age. It's sad it's the world we live in. But as far as your OCD goes, no more ruminating

Gunna try to help yourself?? Collectively, we have probably spent close to a week straight just trying to help you. Maybe more like 2 or 3 weeks. Not gunna lie, it upsets me at this point that you have several threads a week with hundreds of replies sometimes with you saying the same thing over and over, and I go back and there's someone who hasn't had a single reply and it's been days. Time to take this seriously. You have had sooooo much help, arguably more than anyone else on here. If you're not gunna take it seriously, then maybe stop coming here? Like what do you want from us? Sorry to be so harsh.. I admit this is harsh af but I think someone needs to say it. At what point are you going to put in some effort? I would like to see you get better. We all would. But I'm beginning to feel like our attention should be on other people because you won't help yourself. Hope you turn this around for the better. You're obviously welcome here to receive help. But you haven't been. You use us as a reassurance source. Enough of that, yeah? Like I said, hope you turn this around for the better.

You've displayed signs of OCD behaviour since at least the beginning of last August (that's when I first started noticing anyway,) and it has steadily warped and gotten worse, as we have all said would happen, including me, at the beginning of last August. You're trying to get us now, people who have been trying to work with you and have seen this progression, and can I just point out that you are still on an OCD forum, to say how you are just a pedophile and there is no help. This is silly to be on here and say over and over that you're a pedophile. If you really believe that, then why are you here?

Hey girl! Aweee I definitely hear you. You feel like you MUST confess.. that maybe if you didn't, you're living a lie and some piece of info could change the relationship so you feel you owe it to him to have all the info out there. But this is a TOTAL evil OCD trick. The irony is that in reality, you don't need to be confessing any of these pieces of info. Let it go. I've done some pretty shameful sexual **** during my alcoholic days. Unsafe sex and if I had gotten pregnant that one month it could have been from 5 different dudes. But it is what it is! That was in the past. I don't act like that anymore. I also never told my current partner about that, who I also want to marry I hear you about being in love for the first time and the first really good relationship. By confessing these pieces of info as I was saying, the irony is you aren't helping anything but hurting it. All these confessions that hold no weight in reality are creating a problem only by the process of them being confessed. He doesn't need any of that info. I know it's extremely difficult, but give yourself permission to move on from your past. The past is the past. We can't change it. Look forward to the future it sounds like this could be a beautiful future with this man. You aren't doing anything wrong by not confessing. Best wishes! PS - Our disorder can be very difficult on our loved ones. You can't make a promise that you will never confess again, but you can make a promise and a commitment to try extremely, extremely hard to stop this behaviour. He also needs to practice patience if and when you relapse. Our recovery is a journey!

Looking forward to it!

@Cora No one is a perfect person. For example, I was an a$$hole to you before when I was frustrated. You don't need to be sorry. I'm not saying that as an a$$hole, but as one who has also suffered to no choice of our own. You are dealing with, I would argue, the most debilitating disease that exists. Don't be sorry. You are suffering. That being said, I'm on board to helping you get better which entails no reassurance. You can do this. You can do this!

Oh. @Cora. You are a sweetheart. I wish you would be this kind to yourself. What is "the truth?"|