Ali_Berry

Thank you Snowbear for your reply! Yes the OCD does make him very selfish, I think he does know it upsets me but I think he struggles to control it. I actually left and went to stay with my parents at the beginning of Dec for a week as I couldn't take it anymore and he agreed to go back to the doctor, which he did and he's been given medication for his anxiety He has had residential treatment in the past for his OCD and has undergone CBT, however he says that there is nothing anyone can tell him he doesn't already know as he's done it all before so doesn't feel the need for treatment..... which is frustrating as he clearly does. He's had 8 months of deadlines for getting the house ready, then in Dec it was "over the two week Xmas holiday I'll get it sorted" and now we are still no further along and the baby could come any day now, I just can't do it for him, not that he will even let me or anyone help, he has a very high job which means he works long hours and there's always an excuse as to why things don't make progress, I do understand and have been nothing but supportive and accommodating but I'm just at my wits end now as I need to put the baby first. Other than living in seperate houses I can't see things getting any better for me but now I'm on maternity leave I feel like I have no other options as I don't have the money to rent somewhere, my parents have offered for me and the baby to go to theirs but that option means that my Partner wouldn't be welcome and would just cause more issues for me! Feel like I can't win

Today is not a good day, feeling trapped! After a few good days over Xmas now my partner is back at work the OCD is rearing its ugly head again. He's just got in from work and flipped out at me because I took delivery of a big parcel he ordered and I've placed it in the only available space but it's near another box that causes his OCD to flare (yet he does nothing to move it) agggggghhhh I hate being shouted at! I only recently moved in with my partner who not only has OCD but Hoarding disorder, we are expecting a baby in a few weeks now, I'm on maternity leave now and feel like I'm trapped! Not one room in this 4 bedroom house is clear from clutter and box loads of new purchases that feed his shopping obsession. Not only do I not have any of my belongings in the house I am confined to one room, not ideal when the baby could be here any day. He's been promising to get the house sorted for weeks now but it's just not getting done, cleaning comes as a priority and he can spend hours cleaning what little space there is but yet still nothing sorted for the baby, everything is in boxes and I'm not even allowed to touch anything, it's really doing my head in. I'm starting to feel anxious myself now as to how his day has been and what mood he will be in or have I moved anything or not washed up a coffee cup etc etc I just can't deal with being shouted at at the moment, I'm sitting on the sofa wrong and I'm going to damage it or I'm not shitting a door correctly or cleaning something properly or I moved something. When he's not anxious he's lovely and I love him so much but when he's anxious I just feel doomed for a miserable life. This is the only place I feel I can vent as no one understands and my parents are already struggling to understand why I put up with it. Is there anyone else in a similar position that can offer any advice on how to get through the bad days?! Thanks, Very pregnant and miserable

Hello Mr D, I was just reading through all of your posts and can really relate to you. My partner also has OCD and Hoarding Disorder, We have put off living together for the last 18 months but I am having a baby in January so we have had to make the transition, I have only been there for 3 weeks but it is already getting me down so much, I went to stay with my parents last week for a week just to get away from it and while it did shock him into doing something about the OCD I still don't think he will seek help. He has done CBT in the past and had residential treatment all before we met, his attitude is there is nothing anyone can tell me, I know all about CBT and so there is no point in doing it. He has at least agreed to go back onto the medication for the anxiety..... not sure if this alone will help but i'm hoping! Our baby is due in 6 weeks and there isn't one room in the house that isn't full of boxes, I have no where for any of my belongings to go and am living out of an overnight bag, the baby's room isn't ready, the kitchen has boxes stacked in front of the oven so limited to what I can even cook, the cupboards are all over full with new stuff and there is no worktop space. I too have been made to strip naked at the front door and shower before I can touch anything, my handbag gets washed and so does everything in it, he even washes the post! He can spend up to 3 hours a night cleaning what little space is not occupied by boxes. If I do not go along with it he gets really angry which then upsets me, I'm 8 months pregnant and just don't know what to do for the best, my emotions are already high and this is just getting me down even more. Sorry I am no help nor can offer any advice for your situation however It's quite nice for me to know that I am not the only one that goes through this, None of my friends or family understand, I spoke to my parents about it but they are now just concerned for my safety and think that i'm being a mug to put up with it, they just think that he uses OCD as an excuses to not get the house sorted in time for our baby, it's so so hard! :-( I hope your wife does get some help, it's so heartbreaking for those that have to watch them suffer helplessly when we are so willing to help them to recover..... if only we knew how and what to do for the best. Good Luck!!!!

Hello, I hope someone may be able to offer me some advice. My partner has diagnosed OCD, we have been together for 2 years and his diagnosis was before we met, he underwent treatment at a residential clinic and had regular counselling however soon after we met he stopped going to his counselling sessions. I did not see his OCD at it's worse and he insists that it is 99% better however I don't believe this to be the case. His trigger is chewing gum and bin's but the biggest issue is he shopping obsession, and hording of all these new items, this is so bad that his house is floor to ceiling of brand new boxed items large and small in every room, he has not allowed his family, daughter or me into his house, in fact no one has been there in the last 3 years, I was due to move in in January this year but this caused him such bad anxiety in the lead up to it and he couldn't face getting the house sorted, he wont except help and avoids spending any time there, it's heartbreaking for me and his family but when ever I try to talk to him about it he gets angry. I decided to take the pressure off by renting a property temporarily to give him more time to sort the house but 10 months on and he is still avoiding it. I'm now expecting our first baby and and have started talk to him about my worry and concern over the house but he just gets angry with me and then goes quiet with me. I really need him to be supportive with the pregnancy and for the future of our child but he wont accept that he needs help, he says i don't understand, but i really try to, I have researched OCD and have to make excuses to my family for his behaviour but I feel like unless he deals with his OCD I cant deal with it all anymore now I have a baby to put first. I am due to move out of my rented property at the end of the month and move into his house but it still isn't ready and I haven't even been able to see the progress, he tells me he doing it at the weekends and when he can but when I ask him when can I come round to see his progress he just says "soon" I'm getting so worried that it won't be ready in time and the baby will be here soon. I'm also starting to worry about the birth and how he will cope in the hospital when I need him to be focused on me and supporting me, i'm worried that he will be on edge be going round with his Detol wipes and stressing about things being unclean. I feel like i'm at a loss and I don't have anyone to talk to about it that understands the OCD, I really don't know what to do, I feel like I've been in the pregnancy on my own with no support, just me doing all the supporting with these OCD issues and his stresses with working long hours etc. It's all so draining now and i'm at my whits end :-(