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Pol

Bulletin Board User
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    Pembrokeshire

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  1. Many thanks for your reply. You are right, and that is what I am trying to do. Unfortunately there are now very big differences in approach between me and my wife which has led to a temporary separation. She believes that strict rules and consequences are what should be done, but for me you can have that for a child but you can't work with that when you are talking about adults - responsibility is the key I think. And that is what my daughter actually does anyway, but my wife seems to have a blind spot for that, hence tension and frustration had built up.
  2. My child, who is now 24, was diagnosed 6 years ago with OCD and had a lot of treatment. Recently she went to a therapist who helped her a lot in trying to manage the OCD and to live her own life. This all unfortunately created tensions and she fell out very badly with my wife. So much so that they do not have any contact at the moment. I was taken aback by my wife's reaction and felt very strongly to support my daughter. So all this has become a very difficult and challenging time for us. My daughter can function ok and seems to have a much better grip on the OCD but whenever she goes downhill, I start to think I have to go there and help her out. However, through all this, I have started to realise that this might not be the right way. My wife believes that she has always tried to help her (which is true from her viewpoint), but I just wonder whether we have done overkill in actually not creating enough "breathing space" where my child can find her own way to develop the skills to manage this. I just would like to ask if someone could give me some advice on this. Many thanks
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