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Zazoo

Bulletin Board User
  • Posts

    86
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Intrusive thoughts/POCD/Checking

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Ontario Canada

Recent Profile Visitors

759 profile views
  1. I purposely decided to stop my meds a couple of months ago against doctors wishes. I'm no longer feeling depressed and that I have enough control over my OCD now not to need them. Am I wrong in doing this or has it worked out for other people too?
  2. Groinal reactions are evil, I had a couple today and it was unpleasant but I avoided compulsions and stayed put
  3. All I'm going to say is when my sexual obsessions first emerged I took down all my family photos as I couldn't stand looking at them. Their all back up now in full view. They remind me of whats important and what I know I'm not.
  4. My OCD has calmed down significantly and I'm even holding down a part time job now, its the most normal I've felt in almost two years. There are moments though related to my (P)OCD that fill me with immense fear or doubt, like miniature panic attacks that only last a few moments but scare me in a very different way from when the thoughts were constant (something I'm very happy they no longer are). Their almost more convincing, more realistic, more brutal. It also feels like I'm starting to isolate myself from possible future "things" simply because I'm afraid of what might happen but not in a conscious way if that makes sense. The whole issue with future thoughts has been a stubborn issue I have yet to figure out even with the one day at a time philosophy. Thanks all, happy thanksgiving to all Canadians on here.
  5. So in the last 2-3 weeks my (P)OCD thoughts have been getting "harder" in nature, not more frequent or anything like that but just more unnerving, more disturbing, more believable and its almost caused a few panic attacks. I figure this is a lapse because I started a new job but mentally I feel stable yet very fragile at the same time. Its the noticing thing too, even though I don't purposely do it, it just seems to happen and makes me feel bad. Also any advice about seeking a psychotherapist for OCD, has it ever helped anyone? Cheers.
  6. Just wondering if people have any recommendations for apps they use when their having a bad day or feeling overwhelmed? Cheers from here.
  7. I had my first major panic attack in a long time last night and it took a lot to not call a friend or a help line. In the end I beat it and got back to sleep but I'm feeling super-stressed and anxious this morning. A dream started it off but not an OCD dream, just one where components of the dream suddenly refused to work together and when I woke up from it, OCD thoughts came flooding in and it was horrible, made me afraid of almost going back to sleep. Any hints of dealing with this, its been ages since I've had one and my normal defensive reactions felt useless. Cheers all.
  8. When something like this is so ingrained, just ceasing to do it feels almost impossible, the anxiety is horrible and again I just can't understand why. This all started years ago when my landlord asked if I had left a tap on by chance, simple as that but because I was going through a period of stress one check became part of a whole new series of rituals. On Saturday I left my apt within a few minutes but had to come back later for a few minutes because I had forgotten something, next thing I know I was doing the rituals and ended up being late to meeting my friend for lunch. I tried to not do it but I just couldn't stop myself. The longer I know I'm going to be away from my apt the worse it gets but again once gone, I'm usually okay no matter how long I'm out for. The mind is such a weird thing.
  9. Every time I leave my apartment I have to go through a series of rituals but what gets me is while I've got over most of them new one's keep popping up or an old one gets worse. The worst one (and this may be odd) is my bathroom tap, I can't stop myself from checking it constantly even though I can clearly see its off and even take pictures to prove it. It just doesn't make sense to me because my mind just can't believe its off but once I'm out of my apt its fine (mostly). I can believe my kitchen tap is off, that my fridge door is shut, that my fan is fine being left on but this one has been a constant for about 10 years now even while I've managed to get over others, its the grand daddy of all my OCD rituals. I only do this when leaving, otherwise nothing. Any suggestions for attacking long term ingrained rituals? I've tried many things to combat it but its just so persistent. It makes me not want to go out just so I don't have to deal with it. Thanks in advance.
  10. 1. You haven't done anything illegal whatsoever. 2. Having a bad thought does not make you a criminal or deserved to be put in jail. 3. Feeling guilty is a natural part of having bad thoughts so its important to try and recognize its just part of OCD. 4. Remember that any person can think the same thought, how we react to it is what differentiates us from others. Cheers mate.
  11. You know the thoughts are not realistic or rational so take a step back, breathe and get on with life. Also if you get the urge to research, just don't, it only feeds the obsession and will make things worse. Take care.
  12. If you have a certain trigger and it goes away for while, do you ever feel happy or relieved? I feel guilty about being happy but a recent unexpected incident set me on edge and its been a rough week. Thank you in advance.
  13. Lily: I was in your same position not awhile ago and I was 99% sure I was a pedophile and it was horrible but some advice: You can't suddenly become something like that. I'm 40, I didn't suddenly become one suddenly at age 38, its just not who I am or ever will be. I also still get groinal sensations and its something that has to be ignored, it's not true arousal, its not indicative of anything, its just a sensation most likely linked to your anxiety. Also as a CBT specialist told me, what's stopping your from moving forward? A thought? A thought is just that, a thought, it means nothing otherwise. Take care, feel better.
  14. It does get better Lily, It's been 18 months since my breakdown and OCD hit full force but I now feel like 75% of the way to recovery or at least to feeling as "normal" as I did before this happened. Its taken a lot of work but I can least now say confidently that my depression and anxiety are nowhere near what they were. Just remember to practice what you've learned and have faith in yourself.
  15. Anti-depressant pills issue aside, take a breather and realize you did nothing inappropriate or wrong. You went to a pub with your dog, had a drink, the little girl played with the dog and you left, that's all, that's it, and nothing more.
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