Zazoo

I purposely decided to stop my meds a couple of months ago against doctors wishes. I'm no longer feeling depressed and that I have enough control over my OCD now not to need them. Am I wrong in doing this or has it worked out for other people too?

Groinal reactions are evil, I had a couple today and it was unpleasant but I avoided compulsions and stayed put

All I'm going to say is when my sexual obsessions first emerged I took down all my family photos as I couldn't stand looking at them. Their all back up now in full view. They remind me of whats important and what I know I'm not.

My OCD has calmed down significantly and I'm even holding down a part time job now, its the most normal I've felt in almost two years. There are moments though related to my (P)OCD that fill me with immense fear or doubt, like miniature panic attacks that only last a few moments but scare me in a very different way from when the thoughts were constant (something I'm very happy they no longer are). Their almost more convincing, more realistic, more brutal. It also feels like I'm starting to isolate myself from possible future "things" simply because I'm afraid of what might happen but not in a conscious way if that makes sense. The whole issue with future thoughts has been a stubborn issue I have yet to figure out even with the one day at a time philosophy. Thanks all, happy thanksgiving to all Canadians on here.

So in the last 2-3 weeks my (P)OCD thoughts have been getting "harder" in nature, not more frequent or anything like that but just more unnerving, more disturbing, more believable and its almost caused a few panic attacks. I figure this is a lapse because I started a new job but mentally I feel stable yet very fragile at the same time. Its the noticing thing too, even though I don't purposely do it, it just seems to happen and makes me feel bad. Also any advice about seeking a psychotherapist for OCD, has it ever helped anyone? Cheers.

Just wondering if people have any recommendations for apps they use when their having a bad day or feeling overwhelmed? Cheers from here.

I had my first major panic attack in a long time last night and it took a lot to not call a friend or a help line. In the end I beat it and got back to sleep but I'm feeling super-stressed and anxious this morning. A dream started it off but not an OCD dream, just one where components of the dream suddenly refused to work together and when I woke up from it, OCD thoughts came flooding in and it was horrible, made me afraid of almost going back to sleep. Any hints of dealing with this, its been ages since I've had one and my normal defensive reactions felt useless. Cheers all.

When something like this is so ingrained, just ceasing to do it feels almost impossible, the anxiety is horrible and again I just can't understand why. This all started years ago when my landlord asked if I had left a tap on by chance, simple as that but because I was going through a period of stress one check became part of a whole new series of rituals. On Saturday I left my apt within a few minutes but had to come back later for a few minutes because I had forgotten something, next thing I know I was doing the rituals and ended up being late to meeting my friend for lunch. I tried to not do it but I just couldn't stop myself. The longer I know I'm going to be away from my apt the worse it gets but again once gone, I'm usually okay no matter how long I'm out for. The mind is such a weird thing.

Every time I leave my apartment I have to go through a series of rituals but what gets me is while I've got over most of them new one's keep popping up or an old one gets worse. The worst one (and this may be odd) is my bathroom tap, I can't stop myself from checking it constantly even though I can clearly see its off and even take pictures to prove it. It just doesn't make sense to me because my mind just can't believe its off but once I'm out of my apt its fine (mostly). I can believe my kitchen tap is off, that my fridge door is shut, that my fan is fine being left on but this one has been a constant for about 10 years now even while I've managed to get over others, its the grand daddy of all my OCD rituals. I only do this when leaving, otherwise nothing. Any suggestions for attacking long term ingrained rituals? I've tried many things to combat it but its just so persistent. It makes me not want to go out just so I don't have to deal with it. Thanks in advance.

1. You haven't done anything illegal whatsoever. 2. Having a bad thought does not make you a criminal or deserved to be put in jail. 3. Feeling guilty is a natural part of having bad thoughts so its important to try and recognize its just part of OCD. 4. Remember that any person can think the same thought, how we react to it is what differentiates us from others. Cheers mate.

You know the thoughts are not realistic or rational so take a step back, breathe and get on with life. Also if you get the urge to research, just don't, it only feeds the obsession and will make things worse. Take care.

If you have a certain trigger and it goes away for while, do you ever feel happy or relieved? I feel guilty about being happy but a recent unexpected incident set me on edge and its been a rough week. Thank you in advance.

Lily: I was in your same position not awhile ago and I was 99% sure I was a pedophile and it was horrible but some advice: You can't suddenly become something like that. I'm 40, I didn't suddenly become one suddenly at age 38, its just not who I am or ever will be. I also still get groinal sensations and its something that has to be ignored, it's not true arousal, its not indicative of anything, its just a sensation most likely linked to your anxiety. Also as a CBT specialist told me, what's stopping your from moving forward? A thought? A thought is just that, a thought, it means nothing otherwise. Take care, feel better.

It does get better Lily, It's been 18 months since my breakdown and OCD hit full force but I now feel like 75% of the way to recovery or at least to feeling as "normal" as I did before this happened. Its taken a lot of work but I can least now say confidently that my depression and anxiety are nowhere near what they were. Just remember to practice what you've learned and have faith in yourself.

Anti-depressant pills issue aside, take a breather and realize you did nothing inappropriate or wrong. You went to a pub with your dog, had a drink, the little girl played with the dog and you left, that's all, that's it, and nothing more.

It happens all the time to me so don't worry as its not uncommon to have lapses every once in awhile especially if your feeling anxious or under stress. Just remember to breath, refocus and try and distract yourself. Good luck with it in the future.

So I've been doing CBT for awhile now and have even started working again (somewhat) which I'm proud of but it feels like my OCD and existing insecurities are ganging up on me now and its exhausting at times. I've almost fled work a couple of times because its gotten so bad but in the end have survived the day. Its hard to be personable when your mind is telling you that your secretly a bad person with evil thoughts and what if they knew, what.if.they.knew! sigh..

Hey Chels, I've been doing CBT for (P)OCD and other for over a year now and I still have big issues with the dreaded groinal response as its the one thing I'm having the hardest time not checking for even though I try hard to ignore it. I know it holds no meaning, that its not relevant but I still can't shake the feeling at times that it means something. I find its also been connecting with the relationship issue as a I feel bad for having them and the thoughts and that I'm just a bad person even though I know I'm not at heart. Its so confusing at time but in the end I keep going and keep fighting back. Good luck. Cheers.

So my CBT specialist said that there is a difference between a lapse and relapse when it comes to mental health/OCD. It was explained to me a lapse is a temporary thing, a few bad days (+/-), while a relapse is a complete reversion back to the old symptoms or issues. Any viewpoints about this?

I'm sorry but isn't one of the main things we learn about dealing with sexual OCD is not to test ourselves? I don't understand why someone would do something like that in order to test a theory or how it helps deal with the obsession, to me it seems like it would just help to reinforce it more.

You have to realize your not the only one who regrets doing certain things like you did. You obviously have no inclination towards what you think you are and admitted as much. You need to sigh, realize that it was simply a bad decision and get on with your life. I was in a similar bad spot last year but I'm still alive so. Self-forgiveness is a hard to start but once you do, you will feel better. Cheers mate. p.S: Not sure if this falls under reassurance, if it does, my pardons. MOD NOTE (AF): Please do not try and bypass the swear filter or we will have to start deleting entire posts.

So my good news is that I'm doing CBT with a professional at my local hospital and its going well. I've noticed a big decrease in my intrusive thoughts when it comes to my OCD in general. A year ago I was badly suicidal and almost unable to deal with it but I've fought and now I'm able to live something similar to my life before my OCD got to such bad levels. Its a little bit of hope I haven't had in ages. I'm not sure I'll ever be over it but at least I can now seem to deal with it, especially the sexual aspect of it. To those suffering from similar issues, have hope that it can get better, that the thoughts will calm down, that you'll stop seeing every action as a bad one. Bad days happen but eventually they get lesser and lesser until the good one's outnumber them. Cheers all.

So I've been in CBT therapy on and off over the last couple of months and initially we've just been dealing with the checking aspect of my OCD but are starting to move onto my more deep seated (P)OCD fears and worries. I'm not resistant to doing the homework or making notes but part of my brain is very scared as it'll lead to directly confronting fears I've very much been on a live and let live attitude with over the last few months as a way of dealing with it on a day to day basis. Its not perfect but my day to day intrusive thoughts have become minimized and much more manageable (credit to mindfulness though for helping big time). I'm so worried that by confronting them I'm going to fall backwards hard and revert to the scary place I was not that long ago. I know I have to confront my fears but still. How has it been for other people when they reach this stage of CBT therapy? Any advice on what helped. Thank you in advance.

I fully agree with this. When my POCD hit last year, one of my biggest fears was of it getting out and being misinterpreted, it was one of the reasons I quit working and developed a fear of going out in public (mind-reading). When I think back to it, even before it hit I was afraid of being inadvertently branded one because I was a single older male who enjoyed being around children and I know I was not alone, its one of the factors of why men aren't taking up the teaching profession like they used too. Its considered one of the most evil things you can be in society right now. For me being good around my niece/nephews and other children was something I was proud off but now its become my biggest fear. OCD does attack what we hold dear, I believe this, it attacked my personal connection with members of my family and that's what damn near drove me insane. Still why one day I was fine and the next I wasn't still confuses me, there was no reason for it to happen like it did but at least I now have some understanding as to why it did or at least what helped to fuel it. Feel better Luna and everyone else, your not alone.

Saw my CBT specialist yesterday and she recommended two things: One I try and follow specific CBT rules for sleep and two I put I name to my OCD in order to confront it better. My issues are with the sleep one is that my bed is my quiet place and where I like to go to read or browse my phone, not just sleep. Its a habit/routine but its a comfortable one on bad days. Also I don't feel comfortable giving my OCD a name because it would then give it a personality, another voice in my head I've tried so hard over the last year to dull or silence. Has either or these things worked for people or have had similar issues? Thank you in advance.