I have had a tough time since November with an OCD flare up. I am getting therapy although it is quite sporadic as I find it expensive and the waiting list is long here in n Ireland for community based therapy. I am on medication and finally it seems to be helping. My question is this. Why am I trying so hard to give myself obsessive thoughts. I struggle when I am off work like today Saturdays and Sundays are so hard. I think it is because I am on my own and I can't just let myself be happy I think how can I get over this as I can think these horrible thoughts all day. I try to keep myself busy but it just gets me down. I have obsessed for the last 7 months and now the thoughts aren't giving me anxiety any more but I keep trying to hurt myself with my old thoughts. thanks for taking the time to read.