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  1. A positive visit to work today :yes: . Anxiety high but with the help of my rep and boss a phased return has been arranged :clap:. Feel like things are starting to move forward, hopefully to a more positive outlook. :thumbup:

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. BelAnna


      That's amazing SB21, hope you're coping ok. 

    3. SB21


      Thanks everyone, final doctors appointment yesterday. Finally after 15 weeks I'm allowed back to work. Looking forward to Monday. Thank you for all your support and kind words. They have been so valuable during the low points and have kept me focussed allowing me to keep fighting. You are all amazing people and I wish you all well in your own journeys. 

    4. lostinme


      That's great 😁 S, really pleased for you. 

      So happy every thing as turned out well for you. Keep strong and keep fighting. Well done :cheer:


  2. :clap: celebrations! After 3wks on increased meds and 5 days no sleep. Finally get 8hrs! Feel so awake this morning :biggrin:


    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Gemma7


      Yeah that's great news, must be a relief :)

    3. SB21


      Thanks everyone, it's really good to be able to do things again. Hopefully this is the start of getting back to work.

    4. Storm


      Yay for the 8 hrs sleep! Patience and perseverance. 

      Storm xp

  3. Hi Rucker I'm sorry to hear you're finding things difficult atm. I would advise you share how you are feeling with your GP and ask for a referral for counselling etc. This will hopefully help support your recovery and give you some reassurance/diagnosis. As for SSRIs I can only give you my opinion based on my journey so far. I think I am one of the lucky ones. I was prescribed a SSRI approx 10wks ago now and the first one I've tried seems to be working. It did take 5wks for even the slightest change to occur and I did have to have my meds increased to support progress. The side effects were awful at times and I can understand why people give up, bit the result is a calmer me, my thoughts are a lot slower and I find I can now concentrate on things better as my brain isn't as busy. I didn't have depression but my mood has been enhanced giving me the strength and motivation to continue my ERP with amazing results. I would say the meds dont cure the issues but they work as stabilisers and mood enhancers to help you get through the day and think positively about things. They haven't removed my intrusive thoughts or stopped my compulsions but atm they help me cope. It's still early days and I may need another increase but I've certainly seen huge benefits. However please remember not everyone is this lucky. I was reluctant to take meds in the beginning and unfortunately it got to the point that I ran out of options, bit I wish I'd trusted my GP earlier as I'd be further down my path to recovery. Only you can make the decision about what's right for you. Good luck with your recovery, hope this has helped.
  4. This is perfectly natural, small steps are easier to maintain than huge jumps. The trick is to accept the thoughts as OCD, remember all the exciting experience you have had and then fight for more! Stay determined and focussed, you've already done the hard work - don't give in, you can do this.
  5. Have you tried meditation before bed it helps to relax and prepare you for sleep. Also peaceful music and a chapter of a book together, help me to block out the thoughts enough that when I finish the chapter I go to sleep much more easily. Last resort get up for 20mins and do something to distract the thoughts then try again. Hope it helps. Stay positive and don't get frustrated with it as that's when things escalate.
  6. That's excellent news, well done. You have made huge progress over the last few months. It's great you have a new motivation for life and your family, they will be crucial in your recovery. SSRIs are amazing things if/when they begin to work adding that little confidence to out lives but don't let it take the achievement away from you. You have done this and should celebrate it loudly for all to hear! Well done a huge achievement, stay strong, good luck with the rest of your journey to recovery x
  7. It's easily done. CBT makes you think more closely. I spent hours trying to rationalise thoughts and compulsions. Sometimes you just have to accept they'll make sense eventually or it turns into endless rumination.
  8. Hi HDC Don't get too bogged down with the ones you can't explain. Your therapist will hopefully help you to understand this over the coming weeks. Often once you stop the compulsion linked to it, everything starts to make sense. Its a hard and difficult road to recovery at times but stick with it. Your hard work will eventually pay off. Good luck, hope you find your answers x
  9. Not a great start to your day Chelsie, well done for not rechecking. Try to focus on the positives from the last few days, it will help keep you focused. I hope you can identify that you're making great progress, not always easy to see for ourselves. Stay positive x
  10. Hi Highlight I find that the higher up my hierarchy the compulsion is that I am trying to stop the worse the anxiety. Is there any way you can break it down further? E.g. I reduced hand washing by one each week rather than stopping straight away as it made me very ill. I also used timings to simplify other compulsions e.g. only doing for a set time or waiting a set time. I also had compulsions I could do when in company but not when alone to begin with etc. Although it takes longer to reach your targets it does make the anxiety a little more bearable. I can't advise on your meds other than to say they work differently for different people, if you feel they are not working for you I would suggest seeing your GP. Maybe they can be increased or an alternative tried. Hope this helps. Good luck with your recovery.
  11. Feeling proud of my achievements today. A nervous visit to work after 3mths off. Faced my fears and coped.  Tomorrow a visit to my new room and the unpacking begins:bash: !

     After a rough few months it's good to celebrate the positives! :clap:

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. Storm


      No worries SB 👍

    3. lostinme


      You will get there SB21, one step at a time :cheer: x 


    4. SB21


      Thanks Lost x

  12. Doing very little

    Great news Chelsie, it's good to see you're making progress, keep up the hard work. Enjoy tomorrow night x
  13. That's great news, a good night's sleep always makes things seem a little more manageable. I'm ok, it's only day 3 of my increase so a long way to go yet. Had the headache/dizziness but less intense than last time, which is good. I remember sleeping my first 2 weeks away with 20mg so learning from that mistake and keeping busy. Would love to hear more about meditation and uncertainty thanks, I'll try anything to get a little bit of peace from my thoughts. Pleased Lost's post was useful, she is a very insightful lady, lots of excellent advice, taurean's posts are very informative too. I love how helpful people are on here, I'm doing this with limited help (2 very special friends who are keeping me busy) so love the feeling of belonging, people are so kind. Thanks for the kind words about work. I have only had 1 other absence 15yrs ago so it's all a learning curve. Fingers crossed I'll be back soon, sitting around makes me worse! It sounds like you have a good therapist who is giving you lots of advice. I've just finished my first round last week so know how valuable that is. It's great you're finding it useful. Be brave and ask the questions you need to. I didn't and regret that a little now. Thanks for the help Danielle, it's good to talk. Enjoy the rest of your day. x
  14. ThanksDanielle, how are you feeling this morning? Responsibility is a major issue but I am trying to deal with it. The problem is that I've supported everyone for so long it's hard to take that step back (for them and me). Makes me feel like I'm failing them. I can't really advise on how your meds are going, it's natural to doubt them - be careful it doesn't cause you to constantly ruminate over it. Try to accept how you feel, put it down to a bad day and do something positive with your time - this will lift your mood and hopefully keep you going until you get back to your GP. I haven't tried meditation, I've got a relaxation CD from my physio to help with back pain, it is quite useful at times. My therapist suggested I look into mindfulness as I struggle to control obsessions and looping thoughts but doing well with stopping compulsions. Just not sure how I go about find someone who does it. You may be only a few weeks into CBT but you seem to have some good skills and a great attitude to support you with your journey. I hope it gives you the results you are looking for. Hope you have a good day x
  15. That's good to know. I'm a little worried about coping on my return, new boss and unsettled staff. I'm desperate to get back but know my OCD needs to be under control in order to support my staff effectively. My doctor isn't willing to negotiate so I have to try and accept it. Im sorry to hear this has been so bad, the fluoxetine can increase anxiety like this but it will pass. It's good you recognise this for what it is though. It's hard when your thoughts are not characteristic of you. However you need to remember they are just thoughts and are not you. This is great, be proud of your success. Rome wasn't built in a day, you will conquer your strongest thoughts with time and determination. Don't give up. If you havent already it may be useful to read Lostintime's post on the members forum on ruminating. May give you a helping hand. It's good you're getting CBT, your therapist should be able to give you some advice about your meds. Uncertainty is a common issue. Unfortunately this is an area I haven't addressed yet but you could try putting it into the search on the forum and see if anyone had created a post already on it. I'm sure someone could help. You seem to have the right attitude and are making good progress. Celebrate the positives and rest when needed. Be kind to yourself, you're doing really well. x