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About Kieran123

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  1. Hi polar bear, I'm just so worried that I'm going to bring the intrusive thoughts along with me and I won't be able to enjoy my holidays, I keep worrying about if I'll panic being in a environment I'm not used to and doubting myself that I'll act on harm thoughts etc, it's really stressing me out. I just want to go away and enjoy myself
  2. Hi all, just a quick question. It's been near enough a year since my Intrusive thoughts started with their being pretty much a wide range of different themes mostly Harm OCD, POCD and obsessions about schizophrenia. I went on holiday around this time last year and had a really bad experience as my intrusive thoughts were at their worst point as I didn't have any understanding of OCD as a whole so I was experiencing a lot of intrusive thoughts which made me think I was a horrible person and made me panic, due to this I feel like my anxiety has increased a lot the past few days as I go back on holiday throughout next week and to the same place as last year, so my question is can anxiety flare up when thinking back to places you've been or say for example having memories of certain intrusive thoughts I experienced whilst on holiday as I feel like certain thoughts are coming back stronger when I think more about the holiday and it's making my anxiety increase a lot which is making me nervous in case I spoil the holiday for myself and my family, any help would be much appreciated.
  3. ??
  4. Hi all, just a quick post about my current situation. I've recently started my new job and have been there for exactly a week from today. Things have been running smooth and my intrusive thoughts haven't been too bad however today I found quite stressful. The workplace got busy and one of the coworkers let's say "head chef" in the kitchen who is above me was being quite irritating and hard work to deal with at times, like he was trying to test my patience and making remarks from time to time trying to be funny. I've found that in my other job I've worked with similar people who have really irritated me and it's been on my mind say when I've went home after a shift and I've overthought everything. Sometimes I might be sensitive to things and take things the wrong way and working in a kitchen environment is quite full on at times as it requires being bossed around and being told what to do so I feel like at times I'm being patronised. I just seen a rise in my anxiety today and I started overthinking everything like jumping to conclusions and stuff, I hate getting stressed over work as I sometimes see an increase in inturisve thoughts, was just wondering if this is common in OCD? Any help/advice would be much appreciated.
  5. Hi all, just wanted to ask... Can intrusive thoughts come in the form of singing? So say if ur singing in your head an you experience an intrusive thought and sing the intrusive thought if that makes sense ?
  6. I just feel asif I need to know if this certain thought is ocd
  7. I keep getting songs stuck in my head like they're literally sticking, I have this fear of schizophrenia which I know I don't have but the new thoughts are stressing me out say for instance thers a song that goes " I want you to take over control " I keep changing the lyrics in my head to intrusive words and horrible words like " kill " asif it's commands if that makes sense. I understand that they're s a theme of ocd which is called like your internal voice an is different to command hallucinations which is common in schizophrenia, I'm repeating the same phrase or lyrics over in mind like a ritual it's doing my head in
  8. I honestly do think I'm having a relapse. I don't want to do anything, I'm exhausted, I feel sick (have a headache) everytime I get a new thought it stresses me out, I don't want to tell my loved ones that I'm having Harm thoughts again as I don't want to scare or upset them, my heads just all over the place. I can't think straight I'm just lying in bed feeling horrible. I feel like having these new harm thoughts has took a huge toll on me as I've looked to seek reassurance and I haven't found anything similar to the thoughts that I'm having, like can ocd literally be about anything? Like can the disease latch onto anything even if it doesn't make sense an lead us to believe and doubt ourselves? I've referred myself back to therapy but as I know there is a waiting list so hopefully I will be seen soon
  9. Try and stop seeking reassurance I've, it's been a really stressful two weeks for me. I'm seeking more therapy which I think will help
  10. I know polarbear but when I get new thoughts they cause me distress and send my anxiety sky high
  11. I've been good the past few months but during these past 2 weeks my anxiety has been sky high I had the fear I was going back to my worst at one point today. i know my compulsions they include coming onto this forum for reassurance and getting reassurance from family but because I haven't had certain intrusive thoughts in so long I've felt it's been hard opening up and going on about them to my family which makes me feel bad for not telling them
  12. Thanks Miranda I really do hope so because it isn't half putting me down
  13. Hi, I've had this obsession with schizophrenia and voices in the past but I've learnt to understand that I'm not hearing anything and that it's the intrusive thoughts that affect me. However ive developed a new obsession of worrying that I'll start hearing voices but in a complex way and it's scaring me as i haven't seen anyone else out something up that is similar. I have this fear that I'll replace the lyrics in a song with intrusive words like "kill" or "I want you to.. harm you.." so I'll just be singing a song in my head an I'll change the lyrics to something that relates to intrusive thoughts if that makes sense. I know I'm not going mad and I don't hear voices but this one problem has really affected me the past 2 weeks
  14. Can ocd be literally about anything? Over the past week I've developed a new problem that's led to a huge amount of anxiety an has made me not feel my normal self. The certain thought is about music, my mum says at times I'm immature and say stupid things or say for instance sing or make up a song with silly words to it. One of the intrusive thoughts is about schizophrenia and commands so I have this fear that I might hear a voice telling me to do something but it's now led onto the fear that I'd sing something in my head and make up intrusive lyrics as I was used to saying things in my mind in a command form if that makes sense? It's really stressing me out
  15. @OceanDweller I don't feel overwhelmed about starting work again that's the thing, I want to so I get myself back into a routine. I think the downfall for me the past few days has definetly been me seeking reassurance from both the forum an my loved ones but if I get a new thought I panic