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Kieran123

Bulletin Board User
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About Kieran123

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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Male

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101 profile views
  1. Relapse

    Hi all, the past week or so has been a really tough week to cope with and my intrusive thoughts have came back so strong, is it normal for the thoughts to spike out of nowhere and feel even more real/strong than previous times? I just haven’t been able to let the thoughts pass without questioning and doubting myself, I’ve felt like a horrible sicko and I keep making myself feel sick to my stomach with each thought that appears, it’s mainly Harm, PCD and the fears of going mad and being schizophrenic, I just feel so down after the progress I’ve made since last year and I just really don’t want to go back to the way I was when the anxiety was at its worst that’s my biggest fear, I also keep having this worry that I’m going to turn mad or I’ll be locked away out of the way of my loved ones and society. The thing is i know it’s my OCD but the thoughts are that sickening that I just can’t accept them or let them pass and it’s causing me a insignificant amount of anxiety. I feel like every single thought has came back ten times stronger and I keep wanting to tell my loved ones as the thoughts are making me feel so run down in myself but at the same time I don’t want to be telling them the same thoughts/ worry’s over and over again. I don’t know whether a few things have contributed to the feeling of a relapse as I’ve recently only 2/3 weeks ago started my new job and most of the time it’s in a fast pace moving environment but when I’ve been in work I haven’t been able to take my mind off these thoughts and they keep getting triggered and it makes me really panicky, I’ve also just had a rough 2 weeks with other things but I won’t go into detail just general life stuff but I’ve felt really down and rough the past 2 weeks. I just really want to know it’s going to be ok but at the moment I feel alone and down and I just feel so disgusted with myself. Any help would be much appreciated
  2. Anxious/Relapse

    Hi, I understand fully the effects will have and at times I’m stupid, the fact that I go out with my friends and the influence of it is bad enough, I really do need to put my foot down and start looking at the positive options rather than actions that are going to worsen my anxiety
  3. Hi all, had a good few weeks and I’ve felt a lot better, however this past week has been a tough struggle and I feel like a bit of support is needed. So the past few weekends I’ve been out regularly and drank and also stupidly I know taken drugs, I know it’s silly and it’s not good for my anxiety I’ve realised that, but the past few weekends of going out have caught up on me and I’ve noticed a huge increase in my anxiety and ive paid a lot more attention to my intrusive thoughts. The intrusive thoughts have all came back at once and it’s been hard to dismiss them as it’s a range of Harm, Sexual, Pocd and schizophrenia obsessions etc and as it’s been a few months now without the intrusive thoughts being so strong I’ve found it hard to cope and dismiss them, also I was wondering is it normal to get new intrusive thoughts as this has made my anxiety increase too and I’ve been wanting to seek reassurance by telling my loved ones about each new thought I get but I know it won’t help I now any way. The past few days have been a struggle and I’ve tried hard not too seek any reassurance but with the anxiety increase it’s made me feel down.
  4. Confessing/ Relationship

    It's really making my stomach turn, but do you thinks it's best to confess I just don't want to upset her an I'm scared of losing her
  5. Confessing/ Relationship

    That it doesn't matter just as long as you love the person you are with
  6. Confessing/ Relationship

    I think it's more to do with the fact of the masturbation topic I said I've been worrying if it's normal or not to do it to another girls picture like is it unfair on my girlfriend or is it just a normal thing to do?
  7. Hi, right so I need advice on something that's been bothering me, I've recently just got home from a lads holiday and of course it's taken it's toll on me mentally and physically which has also made my OCD shoot sky high. So ever since I came back I've been thinking back to times when I've said or done something that might of upset my girlfriend and it's been making me feel guilt ridden and sick to the point were my stomachs turning and i haven't ate much. I also feel as though I'm making up false memory's in my mind and it's making me want to confess to my girlfriend because I'm convincing myself that it's real. so all these thoughts and worries have been going around in my head making me create more worries one which has made me feel sick. I had a thought that in the past I've masturbated to another girls picture because I've found her nice looking in the picture and this made me feel sick as I thought "does it mean I don't love my girlfriend " or is it classes as cheating? But it made it worse due to the fact that I find one of her friends attractive but not in a love way as I love my girlfriend I just feel so guilty like the need to confess even tho other lads do it I just feel like a horrible person and need advice on the problem.
  8. Holiday

    Hi polar bear, I'm just so worried that I'm going to bring the intrusive thoughts along with me and I won't be able to enjoy my holidays, I keep worrying about if I'll panic being in a environment I'm not used to and doubting myself that I'll act on harm thoughts etc, it's really stressing me out. I just want to go away and enjoy myself
  9. Holiday

    Hi all, just a quick question. It's been near enough a year since my Intrusive thoughts started with their being pretty much a wide range of different themes mostly Harm OCD, POCD and obsessions about schizophrenia. I went on holiday around this time last year and had a really bad experience as my intrusive thoughts were at their worst point as I didn't have any understanding of OCD as a whole so I was experiencing a lot of intrusive thoughts which made me think I was a horrible person and made me panic, due to this I feel like my anxiety has increased a lot the past few days as I go back on holiday throughout next week and to the same place as last year, so my question is can anxiety flare up when thinking back to places you've been or say for example having memories of certain intrusive thoughts I experienced whilst on holiday as I feel like certain thoughts are coming back stronger when I think more about the holiday and it's making my anxiety increase a lot which is making me nervous in case I spoil the holiday for myself and my family, any help would be much appreciated.
  10. Anxiety New job

    ??
  11. Hi all, just a quick post about my current situation. I've recently started my new job and have been there for exactly a week from today. Things have been running smooth and my intrusive thoughts haven't been too bad however today I found quite stressful. The workplace got busy and one of the coworkers let's say "head chef" in the kitchen who is above me was being quite irritating and hard work to deal with at times, like he was trying to test my patience and making remarks from time to time trying to be funny. I've found that in my other job I've worked with similar people who have really irritated me and it's been on my mind say when I've went home after a shift and I've overthought everything. Sometimes I might be sensitive to things and take things the wrong way and working in a kitchen environment is quite full on at times as it requires being bossed around and being told what to do so I feel like at times I'm being patronised. I just seen a rise in my anxiety today and I started overthinking everything like jumping to conclusions and stuff, I hate getting stressed over work as I sometimes see an increase in inturisve thoughts, was just wondering if this is common in OCD? Any help/advice would be much appreciated.
  12. Hi all, just wanted to ask... Can intrusive thoughts come in the form of singing? So say if ur singing in your head an you experience an intrusive thought and sing the intrusive thought if that makes sense ?
  13. Relapse

    I just feel asif I need to know if this certain thought is ocd
  14. Please anyone !

    I keep getting songs stuck in my head like they're literally sticking, I have this fear of schizophrenia which I know I don't have but the new thoughts are stressing me out say for instance thers a song that goes " I want you to take over control " I keep changing the lyrics in my head to intrusive words and horrible words like " kill " asif it's commands if that makes sense. I understand that they're s a theme of ocd which is called like your internal voice an is different to command hallucinations which is common in schizophrenia, I'm repeating the same phrase or lyrics over in mind like a ritual it's doing my head in
  15. Relapse

    I honestly do think I'm having a relapse. I don't want to do anything, I'm exhausted, I feel sick (have a headache) everytime I get a new thought it stresses me out, I don't want to tell my loved ones that I'm having Harm thoughts again as I don't want to scare or upset them, my heads just all over the place. I can't think straight I'm just lying in bed feeling horrible. I feel like having these new harm thoughts has took a huge toll on me as I've looked to seek reassurance and I haven't found anything similar to the thoughts that I'm having, like can ocd literally be about anything? Like can the disease latch onto anything even if it doesn't make sense an lead us to believe and doubt ourselves? I've referred myself back to therapy but as I know there is a waiting list so hopefully I will be seen soon
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