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Bulletin Board User
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About Lish

  • Birthday June 8

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Rumination/'Pure O'

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  1. Hi guys! I am coming off this site for a while in order to tackle the last bit of my recovery.. rumination! I know what I need to do.. and it has cut down dramatically. I can almost feel my OCD panicking. Finally I am the boss, not my OCD. After 3/4 years of this hell, I finally feel like I am getting rid of this thing. Not by fighting it, but by accepting it, letting the thoughts do what they want to do, yet not giving in to compulsions. I don't want to risk reassurance seeking, hense the temporary wirthdrawal from this site. You have all been so amazing with your advice. I can't thank you all enough. But it's time for me to face this last bit head on once and for all. A life without OCD is awaiting me, I just need to cut my rumination off straight away. I hope you are all well. And remember, recovery is possible for ALL OF YOU. Never give up.
  2. Chrissie Hodges

    It was great. Really shows the hell and struggle she went through but how she came through the other side fighting. Well worth a read.
  3. Chrissie Hodges

    I love Chrissie Hodges. She's amazing. Have you read her book?
  4. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2828509/CBT-scam-waste-money-Popular-talking-therapy-not-long-term-solution-says-leading-psychologist.html
  5. That's where I saw it too Polar Bear. What did you think of it? Read it and let me know what you think ashley. A lot of people were agreeing with it, which shocked me. I am almost there. I have questioned before whether to go back for more therapy but there is nothing I don't already know that a therapist could tell me. I believe it is my OCD trying to weaken me. I know what to do, I just need to repeat it in my life. Like I said I'm a lot better, if I keep going I believe I will get to the stage I want to be at.
  6. I totally agree Ashley. The article was by a leading psychologist apparently, who said this about cbt. Before CBT I felt doomed. He stated that those who even have cbt will not fully recover and will go back to their old ways. That's what's upset me because I think it's so ignorant to say that because people work damn hard to get recovered through cbt! I am still going I'm not fully recovered yet but I'm a lot better than I was. Like I said because I have a different theme every day erp doesn't work great for me. This is why I have to do exposure in the way of inviting my anxiety in and telling it to do its worst. I don't even think that article should have been posted because of the way it can make people spike. Like I said, cbt is the only hope for some people and that is such an ignorant way to talk about it.
  7. It hasnt cured me as such, however it pointed me in the right direction. Cbt sessions and research showed me that I can change the way I react to such thoughts and not see them as such a threat. Ocd is now trying to cling on for dear life because I have cut down my compulsions. It's almost like it doesn't know where to go. But this is making me anxious as hell.
  8. Mike, what a lovely piece of advice. I do indeed know that it is ocd trying tp suck me back in, and you are right it's not the actual event but rather the ruminating of the event. I have been doing a lot better lately and been able to get on with my days and actually enjoy myself which I haven't been able to do for a long time! I've noticed that no matter how much ruminating I do about the event it isn't going to change anything or make anything better, so the only option I have is to forgive myself. I am now able to realise that I am a worthy person who is deserving of happiness. I have suffered for too long. I am able to accept what has happened and accept that I am human and I made a mistake. Since then my ocd has backed off this topic as I'm done giving it the time of day. It is moving on to different themes every day but I am trying my best just to accept them as thoughts and surrender to my anxiety, as I know doing this will allow it to diminish. Anxiety loves nothing more than a good fight and a good battle to keep its power, I've finally realised this, and I'm not going to give it what it wants. I do feel very weird some days but I know not doing my rituals will help me in the long run. It is trying it's best to hang on, but I'm not giving in. Thank you again for your lovely advice, and I really hope you are well. Lish.
  9. Hi everyone! Ok so basically I've been doing really well. Any intrusive thoughts I have now I basically don't react to, accept it's there but get on with my day. I have cut compulsions down to a minimum and have recognised when I'm ruminating or reassurance seeking and switch my attention on to something else straight away. Ive felt the method where you ask your anxiety to do its worst and invite it in has helped. I've felt so much better over these past weeks and have actually felt like I'm getting somewhere! I have woke up in tears this morning as I'm having a difficult morning not giving in to compulsions but I know it'll do me good in the long run! I was just browsing through twitter a moment ago and came across someone had posted an article from a leading psychologist. This psychologist stated that people with anxiety and depression will only recover with cbt for a couple of years and then will fall back in to their old ways and old behaviours because CBT is a scam and a waste of time and money. This spiked me as I've been feeling a lot better lately but this post made me feel like ****. I feel like CBT has really helped me. I had 14 cbt sessions altogether and have been working my ass off in order to change my mindset! This has really shot me down and kind of made me feel a little hopeless again. My goal is to live an ocd free life and I'm pretty sure I was getting there. I now have thoughts about all themes however I am able to accept them for what they are and get on with my day which I never was able to do before. But this post has really upset me. I torally diagreed with it. What a horrible way to shoot down a method which is some people's only hope of recovery.
  10. Testing/Checking

    Excellent. I love a good read so will be ordering this.
  11. Testing/Checking

    Is this book available to buy anywhere polar bear???
  12. Thank you all so much for your wonderful advice. It really does mean a lot to me. I know deep down what I need to do and that is to live in the now and put all the past to bed. It's sad that I'm a 23 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her, yet this single event seems to have consumed all of that. When this event pops up I try to think in my head this is in the past and can't be helped. However I'm trying to stop that as I don't want it to turn in to a compulsion. Then I also try to block it out but I know that's not what you're meant to do either. I kind of have this belief that I put myself in a vulnerable position so this is my punishment, and I have to suffer. I'm the same. All my mistakes seem to be highlighted yet things I've done good I forget about. It really does knock my self esteem but I know only I can change that. I just seem to be getting back to square one so obviously I'm doing something wrong. I feel so mad that I put myself in such a vulnerable position for this to happen to me two years ago, and I know the only way to let it go is to accept it, move on and especially stop ruminating about it. Because I really can't be doing this my whole life! :/
  13. Im just struggling to come to acceptance even though i know thats what i need to do. Would watching videos on how to overcome guilty feelings be classed as a checking compulsion? As well as this, is replacing a bad memory with a good memory a safety behaviour? I know what I need to do I just need second of opinion from you guys. Like I've said I've done it before with other themes yet this is the most distressing. Like when I think back to the memory, it sometimes even makes me feel sick.
  14. I'm not used to dealing with guilt though. Especially when I have OCD too. I don't know how you forgive yourself. I don't know where to start. It's been 2 years and I just feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Anyone got tips on dealing with overwhelming obsessive guilt?
  15. Thank you. I knew it would fixate on this eventually because like I said this event was the root cause of this OCD relapse. Would you agree to deal with this just in the same way that I dealt with my other previous themes?