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About Lish

  • Birthday June 8

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Rumination/'Pure O'

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  1. Brain lock is an okay book, but I must say I have read better. He has the 4 steps spot on, but like Taurean said it's important to know how OCD works. I know Jeffery Schwartz uses a lot of examples however he doesn't really go in to detail about the actual condition and what it does.
  2. As you all know, anxiety acts as though it's a friend that is there to keep you safe. WRONG. What it actually does is impacts negativity and fear in to our lives, leaving it difficult for us to go about our normal day. Eliminate the anxiety by remember these things... ANXIETY'S ALLIES: - seeking reassurance - performing rituals and compulsions - running away from your anxiety - fighting or battling your thoughts - feeling uncomfortable about feeling uncomfortable - avoiding every day things - trying to figure everything out - worrying you'll go mad with worry - self criticism and self blame ...these are the things that keep the anxiety going. Anxiety loves a war and a battle, anything to keep it in charge of your life. JuSt remember when you're doing these you are keeping the anxiety going. ANXIETY'S ENEMIES - taking risks with your anxiety - telling your anxiety to bring it on - accepting your current state of mind - having courage to face your fears - allowing your thoughts to pass through without reaction - being ok with not feeling ok - doing every day things despite how anxious you may feel - being kind and forgiving yourself - not judging yourself for having these thoughts or behaving this way ...REMEMBER WHEN YOU DO THESE YOU ARE STARVING YOUR ANXIETY. Anxiety and OCD are losing the battle when you apply these behaviours to your life. The loop and grip will loosen and you will find yourself able to live your life better one day at a time. YOU don't have to live your life this way. But only YOU can change it. (list quoted from pulling the trigger - Adam Shaw & Lauren Callaghan)
  3. Hello everyone. I hope you're all doing okay. I'm currently on the road to recovery (still a difficult journey not going to lie but I'm a lot better than I was.) Just wanting people's opinions on Adam Shaw's pulling the trigger method? He states in his book that you need to bring on the OCD and let it know you're not scared, it can say whatever it wants just re manage your reactions to the thoughts. Look it straight in the face and not be scared of it. He also writes about an acceptance, embrace and compassion approach which is interesting. Where you accept what your mind is doing but just watch it, embrace the thoughts by just seeing them as what they are (meaningless thoughts), and show compassion for yourself by being kind to yourself. Then introduce positive attitude and activities in to your life to allow the anxiety to go down. I must say this book is hitting it right on the head for me. Him and his therapist (who co wrote this book) have got it down to a tee. Not bad for a man who was ready to throw himself off a bridge because his ocd got that bad, is it? He is now fully recovered. If you haven't read it, recovered or not, I highly recommend it!!! Pulling the trigger by Adam Shaw and Lauren Callaghan ?
  4. Thank you very much St Mike. Good on you yourself. It took me a long time to forgive myself as I believed the person it affected deserved more than I did. If I didn't forgive and start loving, I don't know where I'd be now. I suffered from compulsive confessing for a while! It was a nightmare and almost ruined my relationship. I'm glad we have both moved past this and can both lead happier lives. I don't know how you managed 6 years of that kind of hell. But yes, we must let go and move forward to becoming a better person for NOW.
  5. I had a massive problem with self love. And self forgiveness. I made a huge mistake and had something very traumatic happen to me, which sadly resulted in me losing all my self esteem and thinking I was worth nothing. Not to mention I believed I was never going to be worthy of a happy life because I was a horrible person and even felt suicdial for a while. It was the most depressed I've ever been. This is where my OCD relapse started. However, I Knew I could not live my life in this way. I got in touch with my doctor who put me through to a therpist in which I took up 15 CBT sessions before being dismissed from thetapy. I took the step to be kind to myself and become my own best friend. I didn't like the depressed person I had become so I did something about it. I had to love and forgive myself for past mistakes to live a happy life. I am glad you are getting help. It is good that you're getting back in to sport. So important to have some me time especially when you feel like you work too much! I make sure I do this every day whether it's making myself a hot bubbly bath or going and treating myself to a new top. I am always here if you need to message. I have been through this.
  6. I'm glad you're reaching out. Practising self love is hard but if you work at it it allows you to see life through a new lens. Try making a positive data log if you can. It helped me loads during my recovery.
  7. Maybe this needs to be addressed and you need to change some things. Would you agree? If you are in the UK you can get on to CBT therapy through the NHS. I would highly recommend it. It has changed my life. Sounds like you would benefit greatly from this with your obsessive and also depressed nature. And yes, it is time to love yourself. If you don't, then you can't love others. And what kind of life is that?
  8. This sounds really tough! It is a hard thing to go through, however you have been far too hard on yourself for too long. It is time to love yourself again. You do need professional help, especially if you are self harming as a result of this. Are you based in the UK?
  9. Emsie, it will happen sometimes. I still catch myself ruminating sometimes and I may have been doing it for say 20 minutes before I even know I've been ruminating. That's how sneaky it is. But we need to stop ourselves. Repetition of this will make us happier in the long turn and diminish our OCD! I know for a fact I'm ready to live a life outside of OCD's clutches now! Well done for your effort. Keep it up!
  10. Totally agree. Rumination is the number one compulsion that feeds OCD and depression. We have to cut it out as soon as we recognise we are doing it. It wants you to believe its a friend that will help you out, when in fact its the total opposite. Well done.
  11. If it wasn't OCD, you more than likely would not be on this site. The key to diminishing the thoughts is to cut out your compulsions. You say you've cut out your compulsions and you aren't getting any thoughts. Your attraction will come back. You are just so used to playing by OCD's rules that it has clouded that for you. Don't get too concerned about it and interpret more positive behaviours in to your life. From what you've said, it sounds like you're half way there.
  12. Your mind has probably just habituated to them now. Are you still giving in to your compulsions?
  13. Thank you very much everyone. You are all incredibly supportive people. I really needed to hear all your replies yesterday, it was a hard day. I am feeling a lot better today. I think I forget that Im still going to have bad days sometimes, and that's ok, because sometimes I do have to allow myself to grieve for my losses, or be in a bad mood, or get upset or get annoyed!!! I do agree stress triggers it. I am moving house in a few weeks therefore am prepared to go over all my cbt notes in case of a spike. I was thinking of maybe writing down what all my triggers are for the future? Do you think this would be a good idea. I do feel 70 percent recovered. I had 15 CBT sessions and I have read about 10 CBT and OCD books. I am very aware of how OCD works, my therapist even said she would love for me to get a degree to become a CBT Therapist because of how informed I am about it. Its just so weird how you kind of forget all this on your bad days when you are vulnerable! I have been able to outsmart my ocd lately. Whatever it tells me to do, I go and do the opposite. It's just so weird trying to fill that gap that OCD once filled. You feel a tiny bit lost. A lot of people say they grieve their OCD. Not in a bad and sad way, but it's such a new world when you learn that you don't need to live by its rules any more!!! Kind of like soooo what do I do now? Now I have some freedom back. Hopefully one day I will publish a book. As a writer myself, I would love to share my OCD story to help others.
  14. Well... thanks for the support and advice everyone