mfh010

I’ve been obsessed by certain thoughts, for about 6 years now, it all started when I was younger and always felt guilty about certain silly things that I had done, and I wouldn’t forgive myself, and then I had the thought “I would sacrifice someone having a good life, to stop feeling guilty this(about the thing stressing me at the time),” My mind then stopped felling guilty about the thing I was feeling guilty about, and started feeling guilty about the thought. I then went on about 4 years of feeling guilty about this, and obsessing over it. And then for about a year, I would have the thought I would sacrifice someone( a certain random person that would change each time) to stop feeling guilty(about the previous thought, about someone else), and this was an on going cycle, I would have the thought I would sacrifice someone to stop feeling guilty about the previous thought and then feel guilty about that. The thought that I have been obsessing over for about a year, is that I was watching an nfl match and I thought “ I would sacrifice a person, to make a team (I was going for) win this game.” The opposing team had the chance to win just had to kick a short field goal, however he missed it, I then started to feel a bit anxious about it. Then when the team I had the thought about also just had to kick a short field goal, I had the thought “I would sacrifice the person, for the team not to win this,” thinking they were about to win, and I therefore could prove my thoughts meant nothing. However they also choked, and now have been feeling guilty all the time and have obsessed over it every day since then, I’m not sure what I can do.I’ve been obsessed by certain thoughts, for about 6 years now, it all started when I was younger and always felt guilty about certain silly things that I had done, and I wouldn’t forgive myself, and then I had the thought “I would sacrifice someone having a good life, to stop feeling guilty this(about the thing stressing me at the time),” My mind then stopped felling guilty about the thing I was feeling guilty about, and started feeling guilty about the thought. I then went on about 4 years of feeling guilty about this, and obsessing over it. And then for about a year, I would have the thought I would sacrifice someone( a certain random person that would change each time) to stop feeling guilty(about the previous thought, about someone else), and this was an on going cycle, I would have the thought I would sacrifice someone to stop feeling guilty about the previous thought and then feel guilty about that. The thought that I have been obsessing over for about a year, is that I was watching an nfl match and I thought “ I would sacrifice a person, to make a team (I was going for) win this game.” The opposing team had the chance to win just had to kick a short field goal, however he missed it, I then started to feel a bit anxious about it. Then when the team I had the thought about also just had to kick a short field goal, I had the thought “I would sacrifice the person, for the team not to win this,” thinking they were about to win, and I therefore could prove my thoughts meant nothing. However they also choked, and now have been feeling guilty all the time and have obsessed over it every day since then, I’m not sure what I can do, its just was i just having these thoughts at such an unlikely time or did my thoughts actually do something.

Thanks for the replies guys, its just that the thought im obsessing over at the moment it was such an unlikely scenerio that both teams didnt win when they had the chance, and ive been attached to it so heavily ever since. I do realise how silly it seems to let a thought take control of my life, however it is really hard to just put it to the back of my mind and move on.

Yeah im currently seeing a psychologist, and there have been improvements, but my mind is constantly thinking "what if" and worrying about it all the time.

For about 6 years now i have always felt guilty thinking i can sacrifice someone with my mind. I would think things in my head "i would sacrificing someone for something to happen," then I would feel guilty about that. At the moment I thought in my head about 5 months ago "I would sacrifice someone for a team to win a match",that i was watching. The other team stuffed up their chance to win, when in most cases they would have won and it was looking like the team I had the thought about was about to win as they just needed to convert a easy kick in nfl, which he would get almost every time. So i thought the opposite, "that i would sacrifice someone for the team to not win", to prove i dont have control. He missed the kick and they ended up not winning and now I feel guilty all the time cause of it, and spend all my time stressing and trying to prove to myself that I cant sacrifice someone with my mind. I think because he missed the kick, i have sacrificed someone(who wasn’t even relevant to the game). The guilt is there all the time and i don't know what do.