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About Emsie

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  1. A fantastic post, GBG. Thank you so much for sharing. I can relate to so much that you said and it's been so helpful, thank you. X
  2. Wow! Such a brilliant description Lost! So, so helpful and invaluable! Thank you so much for sharing. X
  3. Thank you so much for your kind words Avo when you're having a tough time yourself. It has been hard, you're right, it's been obsession after obsession, like a conveyor belt. Thank you so much about my CBT and the offer of help too, you're all such a wonderful group of people. You are so welcome, you always have my support and you've helped and supported me so much too. Back to you, I think what you said to Lost was spot on, it was just a compulsion, nothing more sinister than that. Wishing you a better day tomorrow. Take care, Em x
  4. Feeling really really proud.

    That's so awesome! So pleased for you. X
  5. Bless you Avo, thank you, I'm glad my message came across ok. I think Polarbear has explained it brilliantly why you shouldn't feel the way you do. I can't put it better than Polarbear, but I completely agree with him. I've felt very guilty and ashamed due to my compulsions and quite recently it came to a head. It then turned in to another OCD episode seeking reassurance for my behaviour/compulsions. I know it's so easy for me to say but you need to try your best to treat this like any other compulsion and theme. It isn't a cop out as you said, this is all down to your OCD. I'm ok I would say right now, thank you. But I feel I'm ok only because I haven't been triggered in a few days. I know my thinking is distorted, nothing's changed. Thank you for what you said about my CBT, I hoping it won't be long now. Sending you loads of positive thoughts. X
  6. Hi Avo, First of all I'm really sorry to hear you are struggling with this memory. It was a checking compulsion, just like I would check for a lump or check what I said to someone or check I didn't trap someone in a door when I closed it etc (the list is endless). You were checking that you weren't what you feared. And it was OCD lies that drove you to doing this compulsion. Now of course you are ruminating like crazy about this compulsion and with all the negative feelings and thoughts associated. You have to nip this in the bud now. You do not need to go over this. You know this is your OCD trying to get in again, as your title of your thread shows. Try your best not to engage in this anymore. You can do this, I know you can. Sending you loads of positive thoughts. X p.s. I've just read this back after posting, I'm sorry if any of it sounds like tough love, I just don't want you feeling like this and wanted to keep it simple and clear. X
  7. Thank you so much Headwreck, I really appreciate your kind words. You're so welcome. Keep going and keep strong. Btw, awesome advice as always from PolarBear. X
  8. Sorry, I kept editing this post above Headwreck. I was getting anxious about what I was saying to you and kept changing it so I don't know if you read my final edited post. So I thought I'd put my last message/post in this post (as quoted above) so you could see it again. My silly OCD! Sorry. X
  9. You're so welcome. It's so easy to ruminate and read in to things even when we think we're not doing it. I'm sorry your chest feels that way......you could discuss it with your GP. Just a thought, I mean no pressure of course in saying that. I hope it eases for you and goes very soon. Keep not engaging and try to something today for you and that you really enjoy. X
  10. Hi Headwreck, Since my relapse and prior to that when in an OCD episode, I always wake up anxious. This can be when I'm in the middle of an OCD worry, at the end, when it's over, simply always. I woke up anxious this morning and I don't really have a concrete OCD concern at the mo, just some background issues from previous days. I think it happens because my body is so used to feeling and reacting in a particular way, it's like I'm on red alert and my OCD goggles are on and ready. I personally think it's normal, you need to give it time. The anxiety won't go away overnight, it takes time. Do you think you could be reading in to the reasons behind your anxious feelings? Well done for not engaging in the thoughts today, keep going and keep strong. X
  11. Don't worry about it at all SP. Please don't beat yourself up at all. We knew what you meant and that you meant no offence. No offence taken at all. Don't give it another thought. Xxx
  12. Struggling

    P.s. I do know how it is and its so overwhelming. Keep fighting. Have faith that you can do this, because you can. Xxx
  13. Struggling

    Me too, so guilty of sitting doing nothing when I can and let my mind run amok. We have to address that.....I always regret it as it just leads to more intrusive thoughts and what ifs etc. Keep fighting! Don't let it win! Hugs back. Xxx
  14. Struggling

    You're so welcome SP. I'm sorry you're struggling with the anxiety. It will pass, although I know that's so easy for me to say. Keep going with not engaging with the thoughts. I know exactly what you mean by your head screaming at you that you have to figure them out. But, we don't have to. We have to leave them alone and remember OCD lies all the time and we have distortions of thinking. Keep repeating that you're not dealing with it right now. Get so engaged in something positive. Don't do what I do sometimes and do nothing as that's the worst thing for a ruminating mind. Thank you for my hugs. More sent your way too. Xxx