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Loftylady

Bulletin Board User
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    Merseyside

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  1. My son has deteriorated. He spends up to 8 hours in the toilet, sometimes twice a day,wiping himself endlessly day and night. Hes not eating properly, not sleeping properly, he’s losing weight. He’s been prescribed Ensure by a dietician who saw him after being referred by a Dr who he sees for another condition. Hes so defensive, I can’t get through to him. He says he can “ do more by himself” , yet clearly he can’t. I don’t know what to do. I’m terrified he’ll slowly kill himself. Is there anyone who can point me in the direction of a private psychiatrist who knows what they’re talking about? So many therapists say they “ specialise” in OCD, but their list of “ things I can help you with” is extensive which makes a mockery of the word “ specialise “. Im in the North West. Thank You x
  2. Thanks Snookertable, but my Son doesn’t want to take medication. He has weighed up the pros and cons and has decided not to take any. I think this is one reason why he’s been discharged. NICE guidelines don’t account for people who don’t fit their mould, unfortunately. Thank You for your reply though. I hope you continue to improve xx
  3. Hi.. My complaint re Son’s care has gone into the service provider and he has signed form to consent to them contacting me further once they have completed their investigation. I have asked his service provider for an explanation regarding his care, and to give him an appointment in a few months so he can then reassess if he’s ready to try CBT again. If not, to give another in a further few months until he is ready. I refuse to let him go through the referral process/wait months again. This is all I have requested and don’t feel that it’s too much to ask. He is spending up to 5 hours ( at worst, 2 at best) in the bathroom each time he goes, continually wiping himself for fear of still being dirty, to the point that he bleeds. He says he is making progress by himself and feels his method of reducing is helping him more than CBT ever did. Obviously the door is locked when he’s in there, and any attempt by me to encourage him out falls on deaf ears as he’s not ready to come out until he feels he’s done. Therefore, I regularly check he’s OK, and apart from that I can’t do much more. He has other huge issues too but this is one of his worst at the moment. He is aware of all of them, but his head is too overwhelmed to find motivation to make bigger changes at the moment. I feel after now about three years of challenge, emotion, heartache etc that unless he is ready to change, there is little I can do, apart from encourage any small steps he may make. Everything he does is on his own terms. I know that constantly pecking him to try this and that does not work, and feel now that I have to let him find his own way. Support him as much as I can, but realise that I cannot make him do anything. Trying to “ control” the illogical ( to me at least) just doesn’t work . It does feel though as if I’m giving up on him. He says I can’t help him, and knows it has to come from him. He seems “ happy” enough at the moment staying in his room mostly, being on his laptop and doing his own thing. It’s not what I want for my brilliant, highly articulate and intelligent Son, but I cannot make him do what he’s not ready to do. His head is so overwhelmed that I think there is security/comfort in his routine and until he is ready to change, change won’t happen. Am I right to do this? If not, please give me some more pointers because I’m all out. xx
  4. Cathy.. It sounds like controlling behaviour is already having an impact on you and your son, which, over time can affect both your own wellbeing. As well as looking for ways to support your husband, take time to look after yourself too. Take care xxx
  5. Thank You. I contacted them for the name of the person to complain to but that's all at the moment. As my son is 22, It'll need to be him really, as they probably wont talk to me. I will encourage him to call them and then speak on his behalf with his permission if I need to. Ill get back to you when ive don't that. Thanks again, xx
  6. Hi My son, who is 22, was discharged yesterday from his CBT sessions. He was alone when he was discharged, a vulnerable adult effectively thrown back out into the community with no support. He has found it difficult to engage with the CBT, mainly because of low mood and motivation. He asked two weeks ago if he could work on his mood and his therapist agreed, and he has been working on the things they agreed he would do to try to improve his mood. Two weeks!! That's all, and his therapist has given up on him! He doesn't want to start medication. He has had a discussion with his therapist and myself and his Dad about it, and doesn't want to start it because of the side effects which he believes will cause him more anxiety. He went to his session yesterday and was discharged as he was told that there would be an expectation there would be an improvement after 8 weeks and there has been little improvement after 12. I understand this to a point, but surely to discharge someone in his state is wrong?! If the therapist isn't seeing an improvement, I feel its his duty to work with him until his mood does improve, and if he cant do his job, to refer him to someone with more experience. To discharge my son, who lives by night and sleeps by day, spends up to 4 hours in the bathroom at a time, doesn't wear clothes most of the day because they feel dirty, and whose world has shrunk from going to University to hardly leaving his bedroom is diabolical!! I have obtained the details of the person I can address a complaint to, and fully intend to do so. NICE guidelines state that there should be a multi disciplinary review for people who fail to respond to treatment including the use of medication, so how can they discharge him without the same? Or is it the case that because he's refused medication, they want to wash their hands of him because he doesn't fit in their box? The only answer cannot be to medicate people!! NICE guidelines state that the therapist should engage the family with treatment, reassurance etc,but we have not had this opportunity. NICE guidelines also state that people treated and recovered should not be discharged without some level of ongoing support, so how can they do this to someone who is still ill? He has been around their system twice, and I refuse to let him sit on a waiting list again. I am so angry that the level of expertise around OCD is non existent. Has anyone else had a family member who doesn't want medication? What was the outcome?
  7. Snow bear... maybe we are. Xx Yes carolj He was diagnosed and did make it to Uni last September. He lasted until Christmas and then had to drop out as he couldn’t tolerate the journey by train and it’s associated intrusive thoughts. He has officially deferred until September. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens and how he progresses on this round of CBT. Thank you for asking x
  8. Hi Wonderer, Thats good to hear However, there are different modalities of talking therapies and some are not concerned with events of the past. Person Centred counselling is concerned with the here and now, not the past. There may be influences from the past in how we view ourselves, but it deals with how our thoughts, feelings and emotions affect us now. The therapeutic relationship that develops allows the counsellor to see the world as the client sees it, helping them to understand themselves in relation to it. The client, through this safe, therapeutic relationship and environment of empathy and positive regard, is more able to explore negative thoughts and feelings and deeply explore his anxiety, and move towards growth and change. This is the counselling I feel will compliment IBT or CBT xxx
  9. Hi again Thank you for your reply. I have to just reply to a couple of points, as a matter of debate. Firstly, your reasons for detiorating symptoms whilst in therapy, I can understand. It makes sense and I see that in my family member. I dont agree that CBT is more a expensive option. A course of 6/8 sessions of it is much cheaper than medication and Counselling. Skilled Counselling from a trained Counsellor is usually longer term and in my opinion hugely beneficial for those that engage with it. The process clients go through is life changing, its effects should not be underestimated. Im a counselling student so may be a little biased but I absolutely believe that counselling alongside another therapy is essential for a client to understand themselves. The fact that this can take time makes it more expensive and of course results are measured much more subjectively , which doesnt fit NHS requirements .Why measure the physical, emotional effects on people when numbers will do, eh? There are also thousands of trained and skilled Counsellors across the UK who cannot find work because NICE guidelines recommend CBT only, not just for OCD but for a wide range of disorders. And we wonder why the mental health of our nation is dire. CBT ignores the holistic. People are simply being given a “ quick fix” which doesnt fix. Training these highly skilled professionals, many of whom also hold CBT qualifications, in OCD and other disorders would be better than the money being spent on short training courses training people who then deliver watered down services like PWP’s.. (this is not an attack on them) Then, sufferers could gain counselling and CBT from one skilled professional. Ive been reading and watching videos about Inference Based Therapy, which was brought about because of the relapse rate, inefficiency of CBT /ERP for OCD, which I feel makes much more sense than simply “ stop doing it”. The fact that you state it takes “ several rounds of failed CBT before finding a therapist who can apply it properly” is simply mindblowingly ridiculous! This increases costs, damages people further and makes waiting lists longer because people have to suffer for inadequate therapy. The acceptance of poor care in that statement is beyond belief ( again not an attack on you) but an attack on how people simply accept care that is disgustingly poor and imply its “ normal”. CBT/ERP in my opinion is touted as the gold standard because its all we've got. There are many research articles which agree that CBT isnt all its cracked up to be. NICE will go along with it because to not would mean the Govt would have to spend money, and that isnt going to happen. I’ll be watching the advance of IBT closely, and believe NICE will be proved wrong. Im not against CBT /ERP completely. It helps many people undoubtedly and for those, of course thats great. But it fails many many others. If we always do the same thing we’ll always get the same results. xxx
  10. Thanks for your replies. I wouldnt expect any clincian to give the go ahead to use CBD, as it is not licensed as a medicine, so ethically they cant recommend it. My son refuses to take medication, and is now on his second course of CBT, the first was mostly ineffective, after a wait of 6 months following his second referrral. NICE guidance says that anyone for whom CBT doesnt work should not have to be re referred. Shows exactly how much our local MH team know. It also says that each Trust should have specialist OCD team. The fact that my son is being given tasks that he doesnt understand the rationale for, again suggests his treatment is not from anyone who has clue. I am hoping to go with him to his next session, but as hes an adult, I have no control over that. We have had no contact from his therapist to advise us/involve us in any goal setting or plan he has made with my son, and quite frankly I have very little faith in the NHS OCD treatments. Whilst I appreciate the CBT /ERP may well be the "gold standard", I am very sceptical, especially since funding is a massive problem and CBT seems to be the gold standard for lots of things that the NHS know little about. Relatively short term and cheap seems to be the order of the day, and if NICE recommend it, well.....you bet it must be the right thing, eh? Very convenient. If I sound angry, its because I am...... What I do know is my son is deteriorating despite being intreatment, which is obviously a ridiculous situation. A private therapist claiming to have OCD knowledge locally wants to charge £185 for an assessment and £125 per session after that. I have no problem paying anyone for their hard earned knowledge, but frankly those sums are just diabolical, and I cant afford £125 per session in the long term. Any specialist teams seem to be in London only and Im in the North. The situation is dire. I am at a loss what to do next. The process for applying for Specialist help seems so long winded with no guarantee of success. How can people be left in this state?? Can anyone recommend anyone in the North West who may have some specialist knowleddge of OCD, Please?? Thank You x
  11. Hi, I have been reading about the use of CBD (Cannabis Oil) for anxiety and there are many articles that suggest it may help with reducing anxious/intrusive thoughts. Does anyone have any personal experience of using it ? I should add that CBD is not illegal, as it does not contain / contains extremely low doses of THC which is the element that makes people "high". It is sold as a food stuff and not medication. I am aware that it has not been trialled for use as a drug in the UK, or at least that's my understanding. Interested in people's thoughts, experiences please? xx
  12. Hi..sorry for late reply.. OK thank you..that's reassuring Xx
  13. Hi.. I have a question... Can CAMHS staff who carry out assessments diagnose OCD? Do they have the training necessary to be able to diagnose it, or at least suspect it? My son has his second assessment ( the first diagnosed him with anxiety, he had 8 CBT sessions, then was dropped like a hot potato) in September. He has got worse since his last series of CBT sessions. I don't want to have him go through the process to be given just 8 sessions for anxiety again..... Thanks X
  14. My son wasn't offered more, unfortunately, so I speak only from our experience. He requested further sessions and was told he'd have to refer himself again and go on waiting list again. Hence the quest, for private therapy x
  15. Hi Ashley, Thanks for your reply. Yeah, I understand that about BABCP, but as you say, its all we've got, so I suppose I expected more. I also am aware that he wont beat this by September, but if he has some support before going and whilst there, I think this would help. Paying privately can just buy a quicker appointment, but waiting for 6 months on the NHS again is not an option this time. He's done that already and NICE recommend at least 10 sessions of CBT, and someone would be very lucky to get that on the NHS, my son got 6. Thanks for the link, I'll check it out Hi Lynz, Thank You! Ive just found his website. Once I figure out how to PM you, I will (Newbie) Thanks again
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