LucyV

Hi Dave I haven't had a chance to read all the replies to your post but I watched a documentary once and in it, the gorl was wired up to machinery that monitored her sexual arousal. She is straight and has no interest in women and never has yet when she was made to watch lesbian porn (sorry to sound crude) she did infact get aroused. This is just brain signals in regards to a sexual scene and not that it is male or female. I would aslo like to add that I know it may be really distressing you but please can you try and be open minded to the idea that fantasy and reality are very diffirent things. For example. Someone may fantasize about something but that does not mean that in reality it would have the same effect. I am not by any means saying that this is what your doing. I am just stating that some things are just human nature but ocd makes them seem like something different All the best Lucy

I haven't wrote on here in a while and although was led to believeI could no longer has children. I am pregnant. My ocd is rearing its ugly head even worse as my hormones increase and I do not feel like my partner is supportive. Previous to this, I already had issues because he constantly lied about his past. I am now finding it difficult to not just trust him but to get his past out my head as his morals are far from what mine are. He repeatedly cheated on ex partners and even though he hasn't as I know, done this to me. The fact he treated other people so badly. Makes me feel sick and angry with him. In one hand I see why he would hide this but on the other hand. If he really has changed then why not just be upfront about it all Lucy

It's so hard to separate fact and fiction when it comes to ocd. I think of it like brainwashing yourself. We need to remember that our brains our very powerful and we can convince ourselves these things. I always try and tell myself that if I can convince myself into something then I can convince myself out of it. I have group counselling once over some past issues, hoping to get to the root but it made me feel worse. Problem is I know I've been through and what has made my mental health get this way but sometimes it still takes over. I'm just glad it doesn't last as long now. I started my own business a couple of years ago as a single mum and it was the best thing I ever did because I didn't have time to over think. Now I'm with someone though I struggle from time to time. The fact I have someone, gives me a bit of room to let my ocd kick up as he helps with the boys etc but I try and remember how far I've come and don't want to go back to that even if I'm not 100% better. Make sure you get plenty of rest and if you ever need a chat. I'm here we all need support through life x

I really hope you have been feeling better Saz? Please don't let this take over and get too far because you will become very unwell. I did and when I look back I don't even recognise myself. I had left things get so bad that I could not see past it. I got to the poi t where I didn't even think my kids should be with me and that's far from who I am as a mother. I felt suffocated and like u was in a nightmare I couldn't wake up from but you will come out the other side of this. Please just get help, speak to your doctor. It really does come down to distraction but if it has got too far then you made need help medically. I would never advise anyone in the medical side because personally I think new just numb things for the short term but from my own experience, I had no choice after I'd let it get that far. I had to be on medication just to give my brain a rest and it did help me. I took them only for a week and it gave me enough time to remember myself before the OCD took over. Antiphsycotics were what I had to take. The reason I'm telling you this is because I would hate anyway to feel how I did and for it to get that bad but it can happen. Use that bit of fire in your belly to loom around you at those you love and who love you and be strong. Nothing is going to hurt you and nothing bad is going to happen to you or loved ones. Enjoy your life and focus on all the wonderful things. Best wishes . Lucy

I totally see what you mean and I can adjust them at times but I usually arrange them and then tell myself to shut up and walk away if I get the urge to start 're doing them. I feel like the last two days have been easier for me to walk away. I changed my bedding last night and usually that's just a drama in itself. Labels of things facing certain ways etc etc but I literally said oh I don't care and made the bed whatever way I picked up the pillows etc instead of making them all the way I usually have to. I am grateful that despite the mental health issues sometimes making me feel weak. I am quite strong after a lot of trauma because otherwise I'm not sure I could cope at all. The one thing that has really helped me to stop doing nearly as much rituals as i used to is my son. I noticed he was doing rituals himself ( he suffer anxiety and behavioural issues) and it hit me like a brick that he had learnt this behaviour from me. I brushed off the guilt as that is not any help and am now using it as a reminder that I know how rubbish ocd is and want my son to stop it in its tracks so that means me showing him how

Indeed he wasn't but my point to that is that it's something about my Dad that all of my family remember. For other family members it wouldn't matter that they still did it as it doesn't make any odds and they just do it and smile just as I do but for someone with ocd it makes me think. Should I stop doing that... I mean if I didn't have ocd then maybe I would do it anyway just because it's comforting. Humans have all kinds of comforts that are not seen as a problem. But even writing this reply I do wonder the idea of completely stopping everything. It feels similar to giving up smoking.... I want to give up as it's bad for me but I would also feel a little lost without it. I've never known life without ocd and that feels strange to imagine but also I remember when I moved house and the first couple of months I felt really alive because I realised I was not doing rituals or was walking away from them. Apart from the curtains. That feels so set in me just like being taught how to hold my knife and fork correctly

Thank you so much and of course the same to you

Hi polar bear Ok so based on your reply it gives me the question that is tough for me. My Dad is the reason I do left over right as he always had it that way. Here is the tricky part... I lost my Dad 7 years ago. So I'm torn with this because I would like to rid any kind of ritual but I feel like it reminds me of him :/ that's the toughest one

I'm not at the moment but have a phone appointment with one in 2 weeks time to start the ball rolling. I have left things far too long but if I'm honest. I have several mental health issues but they only seem to be a problem when it comes to relationships so I usually just don't stay in one but I have been with my new partner for 5 months and have decided that I can't stay on my own just to avoid the problems I have

Hi oceanDweller. Boastful...yuk. nobody needs that. I have encountered that too in a previous relationship and still to this day can't work out there reasoning to that but that is no longer my problem lol I totally agree that the knowledge we are not alone, helps in Its self

I wanted to ask what people's opinions are on rituals or habits regarding ocd. I do several things. Like my rope on my dressing gown has to be equal or my curtains must be left over right. I've done these things for years and if stressed or upset I do have to do more but I usually just do the same things I've always done. So my question is. Would you say I should stop all of these immediately or wait until my intrusive thoughts about other things are more controlled? because I feel like the little things are sometimes infact a comfort. I am sure none of it is good but by doing the smaller things, I do find at times that it stops me having such a hard time with intrusive thoughts about more serious issues. Obviously it's a control thing and maybe I'm just replacing one ocd with another. I would like to not do any of it but I wanted to hear other people's views on this

It is appalling and so frustrating. Today I've had to collect my son from school due to bad behaviour and as I run my own business, it means it loses me jobs and he knows this and it's all part of his control issues. The school won't support without a full diagnosis although aware of it being in process. My son seems to have pda which is a form of autism along side ocd and anxiety but it basically means that he needs to be in control so defies any authority. Problem is that professionals basically teach that to manage it I have to not set too many boundaries and rules so his anxiety is less but to me it's teaching him to give into ocd etc and I don't see how that will help long term. As not everyone is going to just let him do as he pleases or behave in that way

Saz Even reading this I can tell your very distressed. I want to make this as simple as I can. You need to give your mind some rest so that you can see clearer and be able to realise that this is the OCD. I let mine take over, years ago and ended up very unwell. I will always remember the advice my doctor gave me about keeping busy. I've had the same doctors for years and I value his opinions on mental health because as simple as it is said, it does help. You need to concentrate on other things. You are so wrapped up in this that you can not see past it for what it really is. Please give your mind a rest and before you know it you will have some head space to look at this from a different angle. Exercise is also a really good way to ease the tension of the OCD and how it is taking over. I really do sympathise and understand but you are the only person who can control this. People can offer support and advice but you need to find the strength in yourself. I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you and you have a break from the thoughts. The more breaks from them, the easier it will get.

I've posted on here about intrusive thoughts and cut a long story short. At the moment it is based on my boyfriend's past. So I am finding night time extremely difficult and I have always had trouble sleeping as it is. I dread getting into bed even though it's also a time I love most because my boyfriend is very affectionate and without sounding soppy, he loves to cuddle. It can be such a awful time because as loving as he is. It is also when he is less understanding and can get cross with me if I ask him questions about his past. Mainly because he is not good when tired. I understand that everyone is different and he doesn't act his best when has lack of sleep. This leads to us sometimes arguing and I then feel more anxious :/ Does anyone have any tips on things that could help me settle at night or atleast try and break this cycle

I appreciate the long message I think I'm so sensitive at times and being that I've overly caring myself I find it hard to understand lies at times. I explained to my partner in the start that I need honesty and yet he chose to lie. As wonderful as he is and I mean that. He also has cowardly traits and that does unsettle me. I try and look at the positives.... for 1, he hasn't left haha and also he did confess a few lies about his past she he realised that his lies upset me..which is good but I've also seen that technique with liars. I am aware I have massive trust issues and they are for good reason but I need to let them go to be happy now. I don't want to let my guard completely down though as afraid I will be not sharp enough to spot some kind of betrayal. Yep I know you can't live like that but it's my safety blanket. If the worst happens atleast I was prepared which will soften the blow I guess. Also Wow... to actually look up how to lie etc is pretty crappy of her but nothing shocks me. My ex who was my best friend at school ( we met up years later) was adamant o us having a baby but I was unsure. Anyway I fell pregnant and was hormonal and unsettled about some things from his past and lies. At my first scan I found put there was no heart beat and had to deliver our baby. My ocd increased as with my hormones. I comforted him a lot more than he did me when I look back but I was a little hard work also. Anyway after promising me he would support me and even swearing this on our child He came home 9 days after I left hospital and said he was leaving as couldn't cope and I didn't treat him well apparently. So my view on liars was worse and I have been lied to at my lowest times..lost the faith right then