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Headwreck

OCD-UK Member
  • Content count

    464
  • Joined

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About Headwreck

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Checking, ruminating

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    UK
  • Interests
    Computer games, music, reading, films, art, fixing things, writing, science, running.

Recent Profile Visitors

448 profile views
  1. Question

    Hiya. I'm not really in much of a position to offer expert advice but all I can say is trying to ease up on the compulsions, the delaying of dissecting every thought and thinking everything through is probably the best place to start. Anything that relates to your worry or the fact of whether it's OCD or not. Anything. Just move away from the thoughts when they pop up by doing other things, listening to lyrics of a song, playing a game on your phone. I've been practicing this for a week or so, it is really hard and I still feel myself slipping into it. I think the thing that made me turn a corner was the fact that I finally realised that thinking about things to the point of confusion really is futile. It won't change anything. There won't be any epiphany. And even if you feel like there is, you'll start doubting that as well and add that to your list of bad evidence (most likely the list making you feel guilty or worse). Hope you start to feel better soon. Here if you need me
  2. Frustration/anxiety

    I really hope so. Feel like a real fraud at the moment but I'm trying to just act happier and engage in conversations with work colleagues etc. to try to keep my mind focused on other things. Talking and joking with my partner more. People seem to have noticed the difference over the past week outwardly. Inwardly I don't feel convinced at all.
  3. Frustration/anxiety

    It's really difficult. I was under the belief that not ruminating so much would stop the feelings but the feelings still remain. Still, what is thinking doing for me and what has it done for me the past X amount of months, or even years in fact? I'm not going to keep doing it just to make my feelings feel valid/try to rid of them. I think that's one key realisation. I realised that this wasn't going to go by itself and my behaviour is the thing that can either make this thrive or cut it dead. Constantly going over and over it is keeping me in the ditch and ultimately just a waste of my own time and causing upset to people around me. The more it goes on then the bigger the ditch and the longer the rope will need to be to climb out. Determined to see this through.
  4. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments. 

    1. lostinme

      lostinme

      Having goals is a great motivation to keep you moving in the right direction :)

    2. Headwreck
  5. Driving myself mad. Pushing the ruminations away but keep getting 'what if it's true', 'what if it's not OCD', 'what if you knew you did something' 'did you know you did something? Let's try to remember', 'what if you believe it's not true but then it is'. Bloody driving myself crazy. My mind seems to think that if I stop thinking then I'm tricking myself. When I don't think about it then I don't think anything happened. When I delve into it then I start to think it did. I know this isn't the right approach but I still have these underlying feelings even when I'm not ruminating and I'm asking myself why they are there if it's not true. Again, I know this isn't right as it's finally sinking in that the thinking is not going to solve this but it's so alluring yet horrible at the same time, like picking a scab. Does anyone get so angry at themselves in their head? I feel like taking my brain out of my skull and booting it across a field, wouldn't even bother going back to get it either!
  6. RIDDLE ME THIS :confused1:

    What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, yet never in a thousand years?

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. lostinme

      lostinme

      I think I’ve got it ? :lol:

    3. Headwreck

      Headwreck

      You're both just too good! The answer was the letter M :)

    4. lostinme

      lostinme

      Yah I got it right :a1_cheesygrin:

  7. My OCD video

    Really informative video that sends out a very important message to boot. Well done
  8. This is such a concise explanation. Thanks Snowbear. I often wonder if you are a therapist? If you're not then you definitely should be!
  9. OCD and memories

    Hey Cali. To be honest you hit the nail on the head. The reason I recalled those other memories that were not false in the end in the first place was because OCD blew them up to the point where I told myself 'they mustn't have happened' just to get away from them or answer them. Even though when I asked and was told they did, I sort of knew anyway. Plus the stress only lasted about an hour or so, this has been months now. If someone told me I had done the things I am accusing myself of now, I think I'd be in disbelief? (Mind telling me "no you wouldn't be shocked because you know you have". enter stage door left.)... have to laugh sometimes! Thanks anyway for the support. Do feel a bit anxious but not as bad as usual, just trying to stave it off, I want to feel normal and be interested in things again. Thanks Lost, it's inspiring to know you have got so far as someone who struggled with ruminating as much as I do. I just know you'll keep going and kick this to the curb
  10. OCD and memories

    I think the above might fall into the category of ruminating. I'll be quiet..!
  11. OCD and memories

    As for the ruminating. Sometimes I feel a little scared of it. Like I don't want to do it as the more I do it the more I believe. I got a little bit triggered by something that was said on another thread but I just put it out of my mind. I hope that's right. Also one worry is that I stop ruminating and then I'll go to therapy next week and it will start me off again!
  12. OCD and memories

    Sorry my mistake for not being able to put it in words. Before all this started I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, or at least felt that I hadn't. I miss that. And btw thanks for the cheerleading!x
  13. OCD and memories

    I've not ruminated for a few hours now and apart from a small blip I had earlier on I've felt okay. One thing that is bugging me; I miss the feeling of knowing I've done nothing wrong. Am I ever going to feel that again? Will I always feel like I'm avoiding the truth but just minus the anxiety and ruminations? Sorry, it is probably a weird or pointless question.
  14. OCD and memories

    I think another compulsion I have is telling my partner how I feel. It doesn't necessarily need to go into the in's and out's of my worry but just telling him I'm anxious or upset is enough to make me feel relieved. I noticed I did it today and felt annoyed with myself when I felt the anxiety drop because I had fallen in that same trap again. Have to work on it.
  15. OCD and memories

    I know. The night I've been worrying about doesn't seem so important now. This whole thing is ridiculous, it seems to be finally sinking in as when this whole bout first started in October/November I was utterly convinced it was all true. Sometimes I wish I could be lobotomised just for an easy life. I've bought a few self help books to work on while I wait for my therapy next week. I do feel like I'm starting to realise that it is OCD but now it is a matter of trying to break the habits I've formed and resist the urges.
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