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Dragonfly

OCD-UK Member
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    Sufferer

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    Female
  1. Yes, the tingling I had was so strange! At the time I had bad health anxiety too, so to have this tingling on top of that was a nightmare! Obviously if you’re worried do get checked, but my doctor assured me mine was anxiety and it did go x
  2. Question

    Ah bless you. It will pass. Hope you feel better as day goes on x
  3. Pleased you feel a bit better. Stay positive! X
  4. Question

    Hi Skullpops, I was only saying to my therapist the week before last, that when I get to a stage sometimes when I think yes, I know it is just the OCD, I haven’t run someone over, or whatever the latest OCD theme is that week, I’ll then sometimes get this doubt come in, ‘what about if I’ve actually gone mad now and I just don’t care anymore?’ She said it’s classic OCD behaviour, you deal with one thing and another OCD thought pops up, because that’s what OCD will always try and do. She spoke to me on Monday about just observing the OCD and how it’s making me feel. Not sure if I’m doing it right, but it’s helping what I’m doing. I’m acknowledging when I know there’s a doubt, so I kind of say in my head, ok I’m feeling anxious because I can feel an OCD thought come in. Then I kind of say, I can feel it’s trying to make me doubt (whatever it is) and it’s making my heart beat faster, but I know this will pass. And I just acknowledge the way it’s making me feel, but it’s like I’m doing it from a far. Not sure if I’m explaining it right, but it seems to be helping me though. I then refocus on to something else (we made a list of things I like doing) Hope you feel better soon, and feel free to pm me if you need chat x
  5. Hi Sophie, sorry to hear you’re feeling like this. Anxiety can do so many things to us mentally and physically. I’ve experienced what you describe, the dread and unsure feeling, many times, and it is when my anxiety is very high. I really thought I’d broken completely at one point. All I wanted to do was sleep. I’ve also had strange tingling, like pins and needles all over my back and stomach that went on for a good few weeks, that was anxiety too. When that occurred the doctor explained how many different ways anxiety can occur. Can completely relate to what you say about knowing OCD/CBT inside out etc too. I’ve had therapy throughout most of my life, and can dish out all the advice of how to deal with OCD etc, but when it gets a grip I feel like I’m in a hole, and I just can’t get out. All what I know goes out of the window. My therapist before this one said once, OCD is like a garden; you must keep on top with maintenance or before you know it can get out of hand again. For me that’s so true. Could you go back to the doctors and ask about any other medication? I’m on Sertraline, but I’ve a friend who is on Citalopram, which works for her. Really hope things improve soon. You’re not alone, we’ve all been there x
  6. My OCD video

    Hi there! I think this is brilliant! Well done x
  7. Meditation

    I find meditation helps me too when I’m anxious. It definitely helps slow my mind down. I’ll have to try the ones mentioned above. I usually just google 10 minute meditations for anxiety. Hope you feel better soon x
  8. OCD and memories

    Hi Headwreck, really sorry to hear you are struggling. I just wanted to say though, the things you are picking out from a night out; linking arms, kissing someone on the cheek or lips, are not things even people without OCD would necessarily remember, as I think they’d regard them as minor details, and probably wouldn’t care. I personally don’t kiss my male or females friends on the lips when saying hello or goodbye, but I know people who do, and there’s nothing in it, or they have caught someone’s lips by mistake when kissing them goodbye. I think you’re trying to remember every minor detail of nights out, and when you can’t you’re taking it as evidence that because you can’t remember that exactly, then a, b or c about other things must be true! When that’s just not the case. I’ve done this in the past too. I read somewhere too, that when we try remembering everything, it’s just not possible, so this is where the what if’s/maybe’s start, and the mind starts embellishing things, then before you know it we have these scenario’s. I still need to master not ruminating at all. I found Lost’s post very interesting. I’ve managed weeks sometimes, and I must admit, it puts everything in to perspective. I need to master the OCD then trying to get me to take notice again though, which is what I’ve had lately. Hope today is a better day! x
  9. OCD and memories

    Yes, this is all too familiar! ? X
  10. OCD and memories

    I can only echo what Skullpops says above. And I know it’s so so hard to ignore the false memories sometimes. I still have trouble at times too ? That makes so much sense Skullpops too, about the false memory actually being an intrusive thought! I remember years ago, prob 16 yrs maybe, before I knew I had OCD or anything about it, I was at a Christmas work do. I’d had a fair bit to drink, but was by no means not in control. Anyway the next morning I started to panic thinking maybe I had kissed a guy I worked with. Even now I can see the picture in my head I saw then. I ended up telling my boyfriend (who is now my husband) and being in a right state. Luckily after a series of questions from him, he said you keep saying ‘maybe’, ‘if I’ etc - and he said that this reminded him of the way I was checking things, then saying I hadn’t locked the door etc and doubting myself. Years on I saw an interview on TV about OCD, and made an appointment for the doctors straight away and was then diagnosed. In between that episode though and being diagnosed I lost count of the times I ‘confessed’ things to my husband. Goodness knows how he put up with me, as as I say, we had no knowledge of OCD. I’m pretty sure on a couple of occasions he asked was I just trying to wind him up, as it was always the same kind of scenarios!! But in the end he would say, ‘this is the same thing as last time, you know you didn’t!’ Which sometimes would help, but other times of course not at all. My point is though, that thinking about that false memory from all those years ago, I can still remember the picture of it in my head and how it made me feel. I know nothing happened at all, yet I can still remember those feelings and if I think enough about it, it feels real! They absolutely weren’t though! However, despite my knowing that OCD has been playing tricks on me my whole life, I still make myself an emotional wreck when dealing with false memories at times, so I totally sympathise with you. Even though I know that one wasn’t real at all, and neither were all the others, I’ll suddenly get one creep in, and I’ll be ruminating and seeking reassurance again, so I’ve definitely got a way to go yet. I’m sure we will all get there though! X Keep fighting it! X
  11. Good morning...

    Ah yes, I definitely think hormones absolutely do. I can pin point when my OCD has got worse throughout my life, and one of which was pregnancy and afterwards. Wasn’t so bad with my second pregnancy, but with my first it hit me quite badly. Ah thank you, I definitely will. We do sound very similar! Feel free to pm me too! Stay strong! Xx
  12. Good morning...

    This is how I feel at the moment. Really feel like I have my head together, know I’ve not behaved inappropriately, but I keep feeling now as though there’s a little black cloud following me around trying to get me to take notice of the ‘what if’s’ again, if that makes sense? Almost as though I now need to check should I be feeling ok. My therapist warned me OCD would do this. It will always try to weave it’s way in again. She did an impression of the OCD ‘voice’ once, that was so like the way my ‘what if’s’ spring up with me. She says for the moment I could just say when a thought pops up, ‘interesting’ or ‘it’s just a silly OCD thought’ and then refocus. We made a list of things I could do to refocus. I am doing this but it’s hard, especially when I thought I had made progress. I also find this process harder to do when I’m stressed about other things, tired or have my monthly cycle coming, not sure if you’re the same? Hope you you feel better soon x
  13. Theme keeping changing

    Yep, I find this so true sometimes! x
  14. OCD themes

    Really sorry to hear you were in hospital with this, really feel for you. It is torturous! ?
  15. OCD themes

    Your poor dad ? It is so cruel! It was one of the worst episodes of my life, and ruled me for over a year. I was convinced I was going to die, and that no one was listening to me. I didn’t want to plan anything, ‘just in case’. Luckily that theme seems behind me now, but I’m still left with all the other themes, at different times. That and false memory OCD I think are my worst themes. I truly hate them!
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