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InOverMyHead

Bulletin Board User
  • Content count

    36
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Northamptonshire
  1. Anxiety + OCD

    Now I know the two go hand in hand but at times when I’m still doubting myself/worrying I don’t feel anxious like now I have doubts and uncertainty in my mind that follows my typical OCD routine but I’m not feeling anxious that I’m aware of. Is it possibly the meds kicking in or could it be I’m just not recognising the anxiety?
  2. Excitement

    I’m getting quite confused by some of my sexual thoughts about children when I have them I’ve started getting a sort of excited feeling, I know this is probably just anxiety but it happens so often now even though I thought I come to terms with it and know why it’s happening that I think it’s happening to often now so it must mean I’m a peodiphile. I sometimes try to imagine doing something to a child on purpose so I don’t get this feeling and I know that’s a compulsion. Sometimes I think that part of me almost wills this feeling into play and that I’m searching for things but other times I feel fine. Things just feel so confusing like it’s not OCD and I don’t know quite how to put my feelings into words but sometimes the thoughts just seem to slip away or sit in the back of my head, I’m on Sertraline and wonder if that’s started to take effect as well as I feel like I’m hanging in the balance at the moment.
  3. False Memories Vs Twisted Memory

    Well I haven’t quite thought about it like that and it’s helpful @PolarBear I should know how to deal with this by now but it’s been so long since this has actually bothered me that it all feels so fresh.
  4. False Memories Vs Twisted Memory

    Yeah most of them are definitely overblown it’s just the possible memory that I actually touched a child that’s really bothering me I don’t understand why I would think that or believe it if I didn’t do it and why it would just be a one off if it’s not a real memory. Not that I want more fake memory’s but I think I just have trouble getting my head around it.
  5. False Memories Vs Twisted Memory

    Basically I have a false memory or at least what I hope is a false memory that I touched a child inappropriately like it wasn’t a brush or anything but a deliberate action. Now this is the only one I’ve had of this kind but I’ve had memories of past events such as strapping a child into a buggy where I think I might of touched something purposely so I feel that’s a real memory but I’ve blown it out of proportion now I’m worried that because these things are real memories maybe that was too and I don’t know if I can have both real memories that are blown out of proportion and false memories like the one where I think I touched a child.
  6. Hi is it possible to have a one off false memory and then memories that are twisted it becomes something massive. I have a false memory where I think I touched a child and other memories where I’ve strapped a child in and then think I’ve done something wrong. But this false memory isn’t something I could interpret as something twisted and I think because it’s only a one off false memory maybe it’s not maybe it’s a real memory like my other one?
  7. I’m a terrible person :(

    Thanks for responding, it’s just sometimes I get the thoughts before the actual action but it’s never big things just little things. I don’t know if the OCD is coming up with the thought after and making me think it’s before or what. Just a new turn for me in OCD I’ve done so well with it and it feels like a set back and that this is all there is. Thank you.
  8. Hi if you’ve read my other posts I’m sure you’ll know I have worries about actions I’ve all ready done etc I was in the shop the other month and my friends kid was in his buggy and his hand was sticking out of the pram and I had the thought if I stayed bent over because I was bending over looking at flowers that what if his hand brushed across my bum, and I stayed bent over for a few seconds and I’ve been wondering like crazy wether I’ve done this on purpose. Now today a kid was walking past me and I had this sort of impulse to jut my hip out, and now I’m wondering if all the other actions I did were because of similar impulses and if so I’m a terrible person etc is this OCD to think, do an action then ruminate am I making sense? Please help!!
  9. Positive

    Thank you girls I feel like a bit of a fake because it wasn't to difficult, it's been worse today maybe I'm just the other way round lol
  10. Of course we can @ocdsufferer85
  11. Positive

    Thank you, it wasn't to intense but I don't think the thoughts were to apparent/intense yesterday and I'm on Lorezapem so that helps xxx
  12. Positive

    Had a whole day yesterday without paying attention to my thoughts!!!!
  13. I know @PolarBear it just feels so real at times and tricks me and messes it about, I'll try just to let it go
  14. Sorry to post again I'm really trying to work on this but so many new things pop into my head and I'll jump from one thought to another some in POCD and some in others, is this normal? And sometimes I feel shut off like I don't care which makes me doubt it's OCD but then makes me anxious, is this just another trick? Sometimes my thoughts say what if you imagined a child naked and I get a feeling of excitement like a drop in my stomach? Then question like do you want these groinal responses around children and I really struggle to answer (it's like I'm trying to calmly answer the question, why would I be calm?!) when I know it's not the case and even when I tell myself I don't it falls flat and all the logical responses I tell myself don't work, same with these recent compulsions I have trying to imagine doing something to a child which I feel horrible and guilty for to see if I did like them sexually, even then I was doubting myself and it felt like I really was but then I find that impossible to believe! Am I really just a Peodiphile and need to go tell the police so they can lock me away?
  15. Hi thanks both I'll definitely look into this!!
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