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About paradoxer

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  1. Spot on, the thought doesn't matter at all. It's what you do with it that counts.
  2. Hi, Golden State lady. Don't 'engage' with the thoughts - just let them be, and refocus - but without those convulted self-defeating OCD faciliating mind-games at 'neutralizing' them. BTW In terms of judgement, from a cognitive therapeutic point of view NO thoughts are wrong.
  3. As painful and debilitating as OCD can be (perhaps BECAUSE it can be painful and debilitating, I don't think there's anything wrong from (gently if you like) pointing out that OCD is just a prosaic bully.
  4. When I read the thread titile I thought it referred to intrusive thoughts being mocking! I absolutely agree. One of the things that sustains and feeds OCD is the weight the suffererer gives to it. That's why, when I see sufferers say things such as 'I hate my OCD (sure, don't we bloody all?) I don't think its useful - it ascribes too much power to an inane (but painful) disorder. Far better to despise OCD, and to give it no 'respect'. Mocking can be a useful ally.
  5. Try if you can not to hate it too much, it only empowers the disorder. Try to think of it more in terms of contempt.
  6. Learned? ... only through repetition. It's not surprising - if you react to a 'perceived trauma' - you send a message to the brain that something is 'important'. Thus difficult to forget.
  7. If you want to lessen the frequency of the thoughts you have to be counter-intuitive, and be prepared to actually think about them more, but don't ruminate on them. Let the thoughts come (you can't stop them anyway) but don't focus on them. The more you struggle, the more importance you attach to them.
  8. ^ Best answer here. Katie, it looks like you're a relative newbie. Welcome to the forum. Want to sabotage OCD? Don't even engage with the question. Incidentally, it's certainly the case that even good therapy isn't a blithe guarantee to make the disorder vanish, but is your therapist experienced in dealing with OCD?
  9. First, welcome to the forum, and congrats on your English, it's excellent. I don't think It'll suprise you to hear that what you describe is classic OCD. I know it's easy to offer advice, but you have two basic choices - continue to let OCD run your life, or do the things you need to do to break free of it. A reminder, off the cuff, keep in mind that the biggest contaminant is OCD. You can be the cleanest guy in the world, but never actually live a life. Not great really. Why don't you start with incremental steps (AKA SUDS) and work up to the bigger exposures? What have you got to lose? And what makes you so special - that you have to be so clean anyway? Anyway mate, you're not alone. There are plenty of fellow sufferers here at different levels of progress. All the best.
  10. Good for you buddy.
  11. Snowbear, I think we might have a bit of an ideological disagreement here. An (what I would consider) inordinate focus on 'core beliefs' seems to actually (in part) facilitate OCD. In many cases obsessions will morph and fluctuate. What tore the sufferer apart before is unimportant now. And sometimes what's held as unimportant, returns - presenting apparent relevance. Have the sufferer's basic beliefs suddenly changed? Unlikely. Some of the instances you give - black and white thinking, shoulds, oughts etc - are not necessarily the overriding factor in OCD sufferers (who are often intellectually well aware of the inanity of the compulsions) . While they may invariably pertain to the disorder, as a given, they might be more applicable to OCPD.
  12. Wanting to be liked by someone you find attractive? Fine. Wanting to be liked by a woman you find attractive as a married man? All right. Ruminating about it? Not ok. Let it go.
  13. Well, we may have to agree in part and disagree in other parts. Absolutely, I concur that the OCD pathways can be changed through CBT. I've long maintained that yielding to OCD only does the reverse, makes those 'grooves' all the more entrenched. In pointing out that OCD is due to a 'misfiring brain' I'm pre-supposing that the OP understands that they have ultimate control, and reminding them that the obsessions are irrelevant. Re the 'fascimile' reference - the brain sends a signal suggesting that an obsession is relevant. That signal is false. Finally, and this is where we may disagree - to suggest that core beliefs are always pertinent gives too much 'logic' to the disorder.
  14. Maybe what you said does matter - BUT not anything like as as much as not yielding to a debilitating and inane mental disorder,
  15. I'm well aware of the cognitive factor - how important the perception of the thoughts is in tackling the disorder. But in many instances - the variety of obsessions is so varied, so random, the gamut so wide, so inane (in many cases striking not a thread of anxiety at other times), or is seen as no longer relevant soon after, that to focus unduly on perception alone - to hold that 'core beliefs' have a given relevance is off the mark. It's apparent to this observer that invariably OCD 'fear' isn't a fear of the perceived obsession per se, but the fear of the fear - a simulcrum. OCD has many contributors. 'Ordinary' thoughts rarely, if ever, cause so much pain, anxiety, (what I suggest is often actually 'faux') guilt. - the solution is indeed in the response (or lack of) but the facsimile of relevance that OCD throws up is so overwhelming - 'so more so' - to suggest that brain chemistry, or a 'misfiring brain', isn't at least in part a factor, is, I believe, misguided.