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tigershark

Bulletin Board User
  • Posts

    782
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Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Pure O

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Ireland
  • Interests
    Life. I love keeping fit;cycling, football, gym and surfing.
    I try to travel every year. Can't beat a few pints with the lads. Chilling out with a cuppa tea watching a dvd/tv.
    Love music and especially Pearl Jam.

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  1. Thank you for the replies.. Yes the shame is the worst... I agree with you 100% about relabeling the shame... Or not responding in any way to it... I do kind of know I have OCD . And that these thoughts are meaningless... But they feel so strong and real that I kind of drown in them a bit... I think the pressure of the class... With these OCD thoughts.. makes them worse.. fears of ... Maybe I will lose control of the class... Maybe my OCD will just overwhelm me.. maybe other teachers or even kids will recognize that I am struggling.... Hi mate, Thank you for the reply... I teach a class in Primary School... I agree that outside stresses do make my OCD harder to deal with... The OCD theme re the kids I teach is particularly shaming and upsetting for me.. I do have a couple of friends on the staff, who I can confide with... Thank u!
  2. Hi mate, Thank you for the reply... I teach a class in Primary School... I agree that outside stresses do make my OCD harder to deal with... The OCD theme re the kids I teach is particularly shaming and upsetting for me.. I do have a couple of friends on the staff, who I can confide with... Thank u!
  3. Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. I haven't been on this forum for many years. I have OCD and generalized anxiety. My OCD is the pure o kind often with themes of harm, fears of attraction to guys, kids etc... I work as a school teacher and have a challenging class this year. My OCD has been firing very strongly and I have been struggling with it . Often it relates to doubts, fears, what if I find X attractive? Maybe I do? Shi1t what if this is true. I have had a lot of therapy for OCD, done lots of ERP, take meds.. But this OCD is firing hard and upsetting me.. I think because I have a lot of responsibility and a lot of pressure to manage this class... Do any of you relate to this? If so, how did you really manage this OCD? Thank you.
  4. Ashley the light boxes... getting exercise... diet... sleep etc are all really beneficial steps to take to feel better in winter... But also is trying to adopt a different attitude to winter to one of acceptance of the colder, darker weather & a commitment to doing a couple of things every day to enjoy the wintery season & be nice to ourselves too.. Like cosying up by a fire... reading a book.. making soups, hot chocolate... watching boxsets and movies & also of course getting out for bracing winter walks or even hikes! This attitudal change has helped me to even enjoy winter! Tiger
  5. Hi Taurean! Yea.. we defo feel better with the light exposure... but we can also adapt a bit & try and enjoy aspects of Winter which are different to the other seasons... we are part of nature too & life is always better when you go with nature & the natural world... we can take our cues from it! tiger
  6. Hi Ashley! i find the winter tough going.. i talked to a friend about it & she loves winter.. she used examples of animals in nature: bats, hedgehogs.. even cats... they all slow down and rest up & even hibernate in winter... wrapping up warm... cozying up in front of a warm fire or watching a DVD... going for long walks wrapped up in warm clothes... making warm, comforting foods and soups... maybe taking up hobbies indoors... jigsaws... play cards... board games... have long chats with friends and family... in summer we are out and about ... travelling, playing sport.. so winter like our animal cousins is a great opportunity to hibernate a bit ourselves.. rest up... cozy up & take stock... with then in spring we can blossom & get up & out with renewed vigour! so we can accept nature & make the most of the different daylight, temperatures & seasons! Tiger.
  7. Hi ! Thank you for the feedback... i find my OCD often builds up... I am only back at school x3 weeks so naturally it has upped its game,... then I am away on a weekend and my niece spikes me a bit... then I am on my phones reading and surfing the web & of course a headline grabs my attention: something about a paedophile who manages to control and not act on his urges & I just had to watch it... I don't know if it was for exposure or maybe slight checking/ reassurance... probably a bit of both... so after watching it.. I went to sleep uneasily & woke up quite down... i should no no better as I have been battling OCD for many years and have done quite well... but as I said... I can get really trapped emotionally and kinda beat up & like my OCD theme has sort of shock me into submission... it can be very tough... it sometimes takes me a few days to recover & snap back to normality .... tiger
  8. Hey Noah's Ark... thanks for the reply... yea... you are right.. just getting on with things and ignoring the OCD is the way to go... but this particular obsession is just so sore and shameful... I am on a weekend away with family and my wee niece is spiking me too... my OCD kinda builds up on me... the video last night just sowed a seed of doubt in my mind.. that real paedophiles are not disgusted by their thoughts/ images but actually enjoy them etc... i am gonna go back to my old CBT therapist for a bit of support...
  9. Hi guys and gals.... I have Pure O and battle obsessive thoughts that I may be attracted to guys and kids.. I work as a school teacher and so far this year my OCD has been tough going... i even doubt a lot that I have OCD...I have been told by numerous therapists that I have OCD... with me it's often a feeling... an emotional reaction ,.. that .. maybe I am attracted to someone... i take ssri mess, have gotten lots of CBT & practice meditation... last night I watched a YouTube interview on lbs radio where a man who has been attracted to kids since age 14 talking about how this orientation really upsets him & disgusts him.. he has been seriously depressed / suicidal on numerous occasions... he said he has strong self control & morals and will never act on his urges... since i I watched it I have been feeling very sad and down... I also feel disgusted from my thoughts, so I began to think ... I could be like this guy.... i am just a bit tired and battered from battling OCD and how it makes me feel.. cheers guys... tiger
  10. Hi! I have pure o; get ocd thoughts that I could be gay, a paedohile and do harm to others.. I go for cbt, take meds, practice meditation etc I have been dating a girl for 6-7 months. It has been really tough for me. My gay ocd thoughts have upped their intensity.. I have got very anxious and felt quite drained and stressed. There have also been lots of good moments too. The girl told me she loved me on our last holiday and I reacted a couple of days later by saying that I still want to go with the flow and take it easy.. She told me a few months ago that she wanted a committed relationship & eventually kids... I was scared and said this was not on my radar at all. I cannot look too far ahead, as sometimes I am just getting thru the day... It has hit the fan since then.. She said maybe I could work on myself and go back to her & alternatively we could just be friends... I am just scatty and confused. I like her and & I like spending time with her...but my ocd and anxiety makes it hard to know how I feel sometimes... I would love a girlfriend and a relationship but just find it very draining... I am on holidays too and have a lot of time to think about this.. Any advice or do any of you relate to this?
  11. Hi! I hope you are all well. I have Pure O..get unwanted thoughts that I might be gay, a paedophile, do harm to others.. I have gone to CBT therapy, practice mindfulness meditation, take ssri meds ... I have been going out with a lovely girl since January. We are just back from a weeks holiday with her. I have told her about my anxiety and ocd battles...since I met her my gay ocd thoughts have upped their game, which make things difficult. On the plus side, she has been lovely, understanding and affectionate. She does get upset and frustrated when I step back a bit when my ocd gets bad. So last week we were cuddling and she said that she loves me; no-one has said that before and it was lovely to hear. I have never really fallen in love. Two nights later we had a chat; i said that I really like her and like spending time with her...but that I am still a long way off settling down, moving in, and that I still am not interested in marriage or kids.. She told me that in 18 months-2 years she wants to be in the position to have kids... She was upset for that night and the next day and then we relaxed a bit towards the end of the holiday. I am home now and am enjoying some me time and still feel the same. Do any off you relate to this? I find relationships difficult... i have really enjoyed my time with her,..but do find the emotional stuff really draining.. Its just the real time issues of feelings...living together...commitment and having children seem way beyond my plans and expectations...so inevitably issues will come up.. Tiger
  12. Hi Doris! Thank you for your reply..i appreciate it.. I have definitely slowed down a lot with this girl. She text me a few days ago and said she is confused by my texts to her..she often says she misses me and looks forward to seeing me and i sometimes don't reciprocate..I explained that i am bawling ocd and anxiety daily and so find it hard to be in the moment with a relationship & I understand if this frustrates her, but that is where is am at the moment.. Ideally i would love to jump feet first into this relationship, fall in love and live happily ever after...my ocd and anxiety has upped its game big time.. I have gotten cbt, take meds and and doing imaginal exposures and mindfulness meditation to manage my ocd.. The girl i am dating is being understanding and kind, but i don't know how long she will give me...
  13. Hi! I hope you are well and having a nice Thursday. I am 40 years old. I have ocd and anxiety. My ocd has been thoughts of me doing harm and about my sexuality: what if i am gay or a paedophile.. I have got cbt therapy, take meds, practice mindfulness meditation...I get all the support and help that I can. So, 3 months ago...i met a girl on a night out; we went on a few dates and seemed to click. We have continued to see each other and spent days and nights together. A few weeks ago, i opened up about my anxiety and ocd. Later, she asked me what my thoughts were on marriage and kids.. I was a bit taken aback.. Subsequently I explained that with my battles, marriage and kids are not even on my radar... She said that she said it too early..but just got caught in the moment.. I have felt quite tired and anxious about this relationship. She talks a lot about how we have a great connection, spark, wants to hold me etc etc...the more intense she gets, the worse my gay ocd stuff have become. I work as a teacher and used to get thoughts about the kids I teach...these are mostly gone.. Now I have doubts about male colleagues, friends etc...i got these before, but the intensity has gone up... Another issue is the physical side of things...i take prozac, which dulls my performance a bit..she questioned me about one time, when she thought I didn't want to sleep with her.. I worry about the interaction of contraception and my diminished libido and she is full-on... Amazing but kinda scary.. So she texts every day & night & i am just feeling under pressure.. I do like her and would love a girlfriend, but am finding it difficult... Any of you relate to this?
  14. HI! thanks so much for your replies...i appreciate it! I went out for a few drinks tonight with my brother and brother in law.. A few days ago i had an ocd jitter about my bro in law,,. and tonight i was slightly anxious before going out,,, But I just went out and chatted away and it wasn't too bad.. MY cbt therapist said that I know all the theory... I am doing mindfulness.. I have done era: exposure and response prevention,, But that I am nearly overdoing it... it is like i am getting anxious about ocd thoughts and then feeding it even more by going through these steps to over come it.. He said it would be better to keep it really simple,, Just sit with it..refocus on what i am doing and do nothing else... It will and always does pass.. Thats what i am going to try to do.. thanks for you feedback... i will try and just get on with living day by day and give these thoughts less fuel and importance... Tiger
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