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19 hours ago, taurean said:

If we truly believe we can do something, then we can. 

If I am faced with something really challenging - including an exposure exercise - I remind myself of that, and I  might forward focus to the time when that exercise is done and dusted,and how great I will feel. 

Sometimes the fear and anxiety prior to doing an exposure exercise is actually greater than actually doing it. Our minds concoct so many scenarios and what ifs, that we talk ourselves out of it before we have even tried to do it. That’s where we need to be strong and take that leap of faith and do it any way:yes:

The overwhelming feeling of pride and achievements makes it all worth while, also giving you more determination to keep fighting :)

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Have had a good few weeks. Managed a few additional things to help me move forward in tackling ocd.

more cooking (used meat that I’d cooked 2 days ago to make a curry) normally I’d chuck and start again. 

I’ve made my own disinfectant up by diluting neat stuff, which leaves me uncertain that I’ve done it correctly. I normally always use ready made dettol spray and wipes. Still using a fresh cloth every time I wipe down but I’ll try to re use more than once to improve on this.

I also cleaned up some poo that my delightful kittens left for me on the stairs and then I poop scooped out their litter tray.

Used the communal dryer in the gym to dry my costume off and I’ll re use it tomorrow ?

It’s not gone perfect but they are baby steps in the right direction. It’s been a year since I started therapy. I couldn’t even make a sandwich, how things have changed :) 

How is everyone getting on?

Storm x

Edited by Storm
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That's terrific Storm, you have come a long way. 

I took a trip up to the City of London and back for lunch with friends on Friday. 

Nothing avoided - other than the environs round building sites because of dust on my glasses and hearing aids, which can cause physical damage so best to keep clear. 

Only one thing of an OCD intrusion nature tried to appear - but I did what I have been taught and gently steered my focus elsewhere. 

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On 26/11/2017 at 13:48, Storm said:

Have had a good few weeks. Managed a few additional things to help me move forward in tackling ocd.

more cooking (used meat that I’d cooked 2 days ago to make a curry) normally I’d chuck and start again. 

I’ve made my own disinfectant up by diluting neat stuff, which leaves me uncertain that I’ve done it correctly. I normally always use ready made dettol spray and wipes. Still using a fresh cloth every time I wipe down but I’ll try to re use more than once to improve on this.

I also cleaned up some poo that my delightful kittens left for me on the stairs and then I poop scooped out their litter tray.

Used the communal dryer in the gym to dry my costume off and I’ll re use it tomorrow ?

It’s not gone perfect but they are baby steps in the right direction. It’s been a year since I started therapy. I couldn’t even make a sandwich, how things have changed :) 

How is everyone getting on?

Storm x

:WootSign::WootSign:Storm that’s fantastic news, your doing amazingly well :yes: Keep going you’ve got this :cheer:xx

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  • 5 months later...

I am resurrecting this thread as I think it's a great motivational thread and you don't need to achieve big things... just tiny little steps along the way and they all add up.

So today I twice resisted a very very strong urge to confess something to my partner to do with cleaning (long story!) This is the first time I have really experimented with not confessing to see whether my anxiety went down, and guess what, it did!

I also started a list of "OCD achievements" to keep track of how far I've come.

I did give in with one thing but choosing to chalk that up to experience and only focus on the successes.

I also did quite a bit less ruminating.  Still some, but rome wasn't built in a day.

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
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5 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I am resurrecting this thread as I think it's a great motivational thread and you don't need to achieve big things... just tiny little steps along the way and they all add up.

So today I twice resisted a very very strong urge to confess something to my partner to do with cleaning (long story!) This is the first time I have really experimented with not confessing to see whether my anxiety went down, and guess what, it did!

I also started a list of "OCD achievements" to keep track of how far I've come.

I did give in with one thing but choosing to chalk that up to experience and only focus on the successes.

I also did quite a bit less ruminating.  Still some, but rome wasn't built in a day.

Well done on holding back from the confessing! GBG: 1 OCD: 0

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It must be horrible having the compulsive urge to confess. But like all compulsions, the power of that urge can be phenomenal - notwithstanding the fact that carrying out the compulsion makes things worse not better. 

It's time for GBG to keep ahead of the game, not play ball, not connect with intrusions and compulsive urges. 

You can do this :king:

 

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Nice to see the thread resurrected, we saw some good gains in the past.  It really helps to commit on paper and get support and encouragement.

Well Done GBG on resisting the confessing.  Just like resisting reassurance seeking, it can be done and simply being aware of it and :shutuo: can make great gains and often quite quickly when you change the habit.  Good Luck :)

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I think this a great idea gbg!  Support and encouragement helps us to keep making those small steps forward and also helps boost our confidence :yes: keep going you can do this :cheer:

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We were in my wife's bank this morning, me being with her as her ears (she has defective hearing) to facilitate if she doesn't understand what people are saying.

There were lots of "runners" going around with ipad type pads, but they didn't seem to have any authority to do anything, and our one told us to wait - we were "next in line". 

I am very uncomfortable in such situations where I don’t understand the system, and I don’t get told what will happen next. 

To make it worse, my wife was nervous and witters on in such circumstances. 

I felt like I just wanted to scream loudly and run out - usually I manage my "control freak"  tendencies well, but this was a real challenge. 

I asked my wife just to let me be quiet, and put myself in a calm zone. 

And shortly after a gentleman came and took us into a booth and dealt with our needs. 

When we want to scream, we want to run, we aren't in control of a new situation, well we have to expose to it, face it out. 

Next time, we know what to expect and can change our response, and "stand down"  that sentry inside our minds whose hand is hovering over the panic button. 

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Totally agree gbg :) 

As you probably know my new homework as been to take my dog out once a day for a twenty minute walk, which I’ve been doing most days for a few weeks now :yes:

Today I realised that not taking her out was actually getting me down and made me feel like a bad person. I use to get upset at feeling unable to take her out, which also added to my low mood. At first I was really anxious about going, but now I know it makes me feel better for doing it and lifts my mood. So it goes to show that no matter how difficult things seem at first, things will and do improve with time :yes: avoidance can actually make us feel much worse :(

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4 hours ago, taurean said:

We were in my wife's bank this morning, me being with her as her ears (she has defective hearing) to facilitate if she doesn't understand what people are saying.

There were lots of "runners" going around with ipad type pads, but they didn't seem to have any authority to do anything, and our one told us to wait - we were "next in line". 

I am very uncomfortable in such situations where I don’t understand the system, and I don’t get told what will happen next. 

To make it worse, my wife was nervous and witters on in such circumstances. 

I felt like I just wanted to scream loudly and run out - usually I manage my "control freak"  tendencies well, but this was a real challenge. 

I asked my wife just to let me be quiet, and put myself in a calm zone. 

And shortly after a gentleman came and took us into a booth and dealt with our needs. 

When we want to scream, we want to run, we aren't in control of a new situation, well we have to expose to it, face it out. 

Next time, we know what to expect and can change our response, and "stand down"  that sentry inside our minds whose hand is hovering over the panic button. 

good for you Roy.  I don't think this kind of situation either, where everything is ambiguous and overwhelming.  Well done for facing it out :)

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4 hours ago, lostinme said:

Totally agree gbg :) 

As you probably know my new homework as been to take my dog out once a day for a twenty minute walk, which I’ve been doing most days for a few weeks now :yes:

Today I realised that not taking her out was actually getting me down and made me feel like a bad person. I use to get upset at feeling unable to take her out, which also added to my low mood. At first I was really anxious about going, but now I know it makes me feel better for doing it and lifts my mood. So it goes to show that no matter how difficult things seem at first, things will and do improve with time :yes: avoidance can actually make us feel much worse :(

you should be massively proud of this Lost, to go from such a fearful place to doing it almost every day - that is massive!! you're so right that avoidance can cause low mood, and then there is a vicious circle where low mood causes avoidance.  Facing fears head on can then cause an upwards spiral :)

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Well today I have deliberately done a couple of things which I knew I would want to either put right/confess to my partner.  The anxiety I feel over this kind of thing is huge because it feels like a moral danger zone which is what my OCD generally centres on.  Anyway I stuck it out and didn't put it right or confess it.  My anxiety went through the roof, I hovered over my phone preparing to send a text, but I didn't and - lo and behold - my anxiety went down.  So quite pleased with that.

Edit: just want to clarify that these are not things that my non-OCD self would confess - they are not things my partner would be hurt by me not confessing. They are little ridiculous things that OCD has blown up.  My partner would think I was stupid for confessing if I did!

 

Edited by gingerbreadgirl
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5 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

Well today I have deliberately done a couple of things which I knew I would want to either put right/confess to my partner.  The anxiety I feel over this kind of thing is huge because it feels like a moral danger zone which is what my OCD generally centres on, and this was made worse by the fact I did it deliberately (which in my OCD mind meant I'd done it "maliciously").  Anyway I stuck it out and didn't put it right or confess it.  My anxiety went through the roof, I hovered over my phone preparing to send a text, but I didn't and - lo and behold - my anxiety went down.  So quite pleased with that.

 

This is the right way to handle it GBG :)

Well done you. 

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Thanks Roy.  It's funny because I think I have got over maybe three or four periods of significant OCD, and each time the recovery period has started with a definite turning point, a moment of anger, of just suddenly feeling so fed up with it. 

I think that to get better from OCD you have to get to a point where you'd rather get better than have the relief of doing compulsions and I think I have finaly reached that point. 

 

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Now that is worth identifying. 

Maybe you need to bottle that up and be ready to release it if needed in the future. ? 

I never have got to that point of awareness with my own relapses, so it looks a good thing to have discovered :)

 

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55 minutes ago, gingerbreadgirl said:

I think that to get better from OCD you have to get to a point where you'd rather get better than have the relief of doing compulsions and I think I have finaly reached that point. 

 

Well said gbg, that’s how I feel :) x

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