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I was going to tell my parents this morning..


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..I told them last night instead! (sunday)

I really couldn't wait to do it any longer! ..I was going to do it onthe break of emmerdale, but i've never ever known a break to be so short! lol.

so after emmerdale it was... and it went rather well ..considering!

At first I was a bit teary telling them, and my mum got a bit teary too, but shes just like that! It didn't come as a shock to them.

I'd let some of my behaviour go about 6 months ago i.e. handwashing and some other things and at the time I kept thinking she was trying to catch me out and got really paranoid. She's never really asked me what was wrong which upset me a bit, but she said that it was because she suspected what I had but didn't want to say anything cauz I would have denied it and probably got annoyed that she'd suggested it. She said she was giving me the chance to tell them in my own time, and just hoped that it wouldn't mount in a crisis situation before I told them! -which I was shocked about!

I didn't want to divulge some of my compulsions that I have now, cauz i'd get paranoid that they would be watching and know. So I told them, and my mum said 'oh, but we all have them from time to time' which I know that people without OCD can have. It just seemed like she didn't know the extent of the problems I face! I'd printed off some information that i'd written on but didn't end up using anyway., I wanted to re-print some of it so I could give it to them to read and when I said that, my mum said 'Oh, it's ok, I know about OCD. Oh, but if you want to give me that to read then ok' I was like : (, I've just managed to tell you this and ..argh!!

They also said and implied also that my OCD wasn't as bad as say, gazza who has to take 15 steps back and goes does other behaviour in order to avoid going through a doorway. I don't know. but then I tried to debate that.. in the end they stil didn't see how bad it was.

I suppose i'm just reflecting now and feeling a bit sad. Mainly I suppose cauz I was thinking about some of the unwanted thoughts/images that i'd had, in an express to tell my mum, but I don't know if im gonna bother. I thought today was going so well aswell..

Through reading Biccy and Samantha's posts on their exposure and how well they are doing, I thought seen as i'm quite relatively free of anxiety right now that i'd try lessening some of my compulsions that are sort of 'add ons' that I don't really need to do any way, but still do. (the major compulsions on a minor problem).

I've really tried to catch myself when doing compulsions and have managed, with a little stress, to stop them 1/2 or 3/4 of the way through. Which i'm pleased about. :) I feel like i'm going to slip back a little in the next couple of days though because anxiety always creeps back and i'm not always going to feel like I have been. I guess i'm going to try and deal with things a bit better, i'm not keen on the fact that I may be more concious of my behaviour and try to conceal things more bcauz my parents now know! blah!

I have a question..

I said, when I was explaining things last night, that I was wanting to make a claim for benefits, and my mum said 'oh you don't want to do that' 'you don't want to get labelled' or something like that. I'm sure you know what I mean.. (makes my mum sounds like a snob and stuck up but she really isn't)

- I've not had a job for 2 1/2 years, and have not claimed benefit before. I know that i'm entitled to claim, my mum and dad have known that it's been hard for me and I haven't been able to get a job. they have supported me, but now, I don't want to use their money, I want to be free to buy things..

Was she saying this because future employers and other people like that can check that i've claimed? Could someone explain for me? I'm going to go ahead anyway.. and I might even ask my mum's friend to help me, if I can't get these services directly through my GP straight away.. I don't know.

My mum advised that I write a short note to my GP explaining what I have so that he can make a bit more time for me and isn't such a shock when I go in.. which is getting dropped off tomorrow.

Well all in all, my parents were soo pleased I had told them. lol. I just wish they knew to which extent things bother me! - I'm glad you lot understand what it's like. At least i'm not alone! - Thanks for your support you guys... I really don't think the final push would have come if I hadn't posted through here! ..and sorry for the uber long post! again!

hsu

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Guest inorbit

Hello Hsu

Well done on telling your parents!! And i'm very pleased that it's all gone so well! :)

I was reading your post and it's got me thinking again about myself - should i go and talk to my GP? I'm just not sure :(

I think your idea about writing to your GP first before you go in is a fantastic idea though! :)

JC

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Thanks JC!

Well I can't tell you wether you should go or not, as afterall that decision is yours..

but what I can say is.. It took me soo long and lots of suffering, questioning and lots of doubting to get to where I am now, and I wish I didn't have to have put up with it for one, and that it hadn't taken me so long just to make a simple decision!

I've gradually built up to this point.. and once I knew I had OCD, I slowly exposed myself to information, i've learned that I don't have to put up with this.. I can feel lots better than I do now.. and I want that! I've had enough and want to be on the road to recovery. It helps so much that others are going through the same thing and are even making steps of their own. I just don't want to be left behind, thinking, 'what if?', 'where could I be now?' or in 10 years time saying 'I wish i'd done it long ago!' which I know for sure would happen if I don't just take one step in telling somebody about it.

From this experience I feel so happy that somebody knows. In all honesty, I didn't want to do it but that wasn't going to make the problem go away.

I know that the GP isn't a monster and it's his job is to help.. He won't turn you away and you can start to tackle this.

Is there anybody around you that you could confide in for some support?

A tip for writing the note... keep it short. Just tell him you have OCD, that it's restricting your life and you'd like to get some help and would he be able to find a suitable time for an appointment. Thats all I said anyway. My mum said he'l prob get the receptionist to ring with an appointment. Oh, and I put his name on the envolope with private and confidential so that only he reads it.

I hope this helps a little.

hsu

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hi hsu

well done for telling you parents it does make you exhale with relief dosent it.

when i told my mum it took quite some time for her to understand and i left

literature for her to read.

good idea about the short note to your gp there is also an ice breaker sheet thats

on the main page that can also be used and is downloadable .

i dont knwo about benefits as i dotn claim them but you could get advise from the

benefits office on that also the citizens advice bureau.

keep posting on your progress

take care

biccy

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Guest Gurstang

Congrats on telling them!

It's never easy to tell someone about this is it? I myself although open to people that i have ocd still cannot say what exactly i do or have.

I found that your suspitions that people will watch you like a hawk as to your behaviors is true, but they are doing it out of concern for you. Try to stay relaxed when people keep saying that your not as bad as so and so... they are trying to deal and understand in the way that they feel comfortable. It sounds like your mother may only know general knowledge of ocd so patience will be needed when talking to her, my mum's the same. Only you will know the full impact of the ocd on yourself and unfortuatly some people will never let themselves become fully aware of just how affecting this disorder can be. All you can do is be patient and answer any questions that they may have as honestly as you feel you can be.

Good luck

gurstang

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well done. its NEVER easy :clapping: im glad you are trying to reduce compulsions to

i told my parents about this ocd two weeks ago. i mean my mum knows everything now. she always knew i had something because of the stuff i did when i was younger. she did things but nothing like i did when i was younger. NOBODY guessed what i had though.

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Guest bellissima

Well done now you have one of the most powerful weapons against ocd which is a wonderful support team in your parents and family go you!

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Thanks for all your replies..

I'd forgotten about the other advice areas that I could get help for making my claim, but wil speak to my GP and see what he says, thanks biccy.

I have to say telling them was better than I expected, I think! My mum dropped off the GP letter yesterday but she has a feeling that he is off on holiday, he's not got back to me and seen as it's addressed to him, no1 else can read it except him.lol. I hope he's sunnin himself somewhere nice..!

Thanks for your advice Gurstang.. I've found that cutting my compulsions has been fueled also by me not wanting to be so obvious to my parents.. I guess i'm more aware because they're off on holiday this week but I don't seem to be as stressed about not doing them right now, which is a good sign.

It's good to see someone else's view on things, so thanks yaasehshalom too. I guess I just gotta be patient like you say... and I have had a lot longer to get used to things I suppose!!

Thanks bellissima for your support!

Will let you know how things go..

hsu :)

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no prob...well done mate

i think embarrassment about compulsions can be a big help, helped me grow out of alot of mine

but make sure you dont do em in private instead... :original:

Edited by Guest
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I think a lot is done in private. I certainly feel my mum knows because I 'let things slip' a couple of times.

I get your point though, I'm trying not to act any different but its hard not to act differently when OCD is concerned and you feel like your bein watched!

It's strange how our thoughts and behaviours change constantly, and yet we can't get rid of OCD so easily...

My parents probably aren't watching me like a hawk thinking 'thats OCD behaviour again' but it's the weirdness that makes it so.. weird!

Glad my post size has come down a bit... :p I'm workin on it. Damn OCD and hoarding!!

hsu

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Hi,

We claimed DLA (Disability Living Allowance) for my son, it was a long drawn out process, we started the claim in February 2006, and it didn't get sorted till October 2006, however the payments were back dated. We had to appeal against the original decision not to pay, and then it went to an independant appeals service, in July and was passed. There was some delay because the DWP said they hadn't received notification from the appeals service, but eventually my son was paid. Because of my sons particular problem (contamination fears) I had to fill in the forms, which were quite lengthy. He was also having CBT at the time so the DWP sent a form to his psychiatrist, but I don't know whether a letter from your GP would do. He gets the lower level payment, however it does depend how debilitating your OCD is I suppose.

Good luck

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Guest lilmissocd

Hi Hsu,

I'm glad it went well telling your parents because I know you were worried! It is disappointing when they think its not that big of a deal, eh? Oh well...from what you said they were supportive so thats great! Mom's dont always give the best advice, so I think you should go with what you think is best for the benefit thing.

Take care,

Sarah

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Hi soixante, thanks for your reply and sharing that information with me. I will see what my GP sais, I suppose I can't do anything else till then but thats good to know.

Thanks sarah. It was a bit disappointing. Right now I can't seem to grasp what might be severe in the OCD sense. I don't understand that 'it takes up 2 or 3 hours a day' thing. I know that i'm rather restricted with OCD, bit isn't everybody to some extent!?

An update...

I got a letter from my GP that they send out for you to make appointments this morning, too bad I have to wait til monday! I really wanna get it over and done with.

stamps..

It sais on the main website about collecting stamps for OCD-UK, so i'm going to call on my hoarding to collect stamps and the first one will be from my GP letter.. At least when I know when I find it hard to give them away, it will be for something good.

Can any of the mods or ashley confirm you are stil doing this?!

also, I'm asking my mum today if I can use her money to join OCD-UK. I've lost my bank card somehwhere around my room (it's not surprising!) so couldn't join. I thought it was something good and positive after telling them! :)

hsu

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