Desparate mum of 20 yr old son with ocd-PLZ!

[Guest Eustace-our name 4ocd]

Hello.

I am new to this site, and found it whilst searching about ocd as this enemy has taken over my son and this household.

He was diagnosed with ocd 10 yrs ago at the age of 10, now coming up for his 21st birthday.

I'm so desparate to chat with other parents/carers, or even sufferers themselves welcome to respond! :blushing:

My sons ocd manifests itself in the form of ritual handwashing, to the point where his hands look like they have been scalded, red raw, and even bleed from the constant scrubbing, to remove 'germs' and so prevent sickness in his mind.

He has a particular fear of raw meat, and if ever I dare to buy chicken to cook he will be constantly on edge fearing whether it has touched anything he might use in the kitchen, and contaminate him with salmonella etc!!! :helpsmilie:

I hate this intruder, ( 'Eustace') our name for the ocd to separate it from my son.

are there any other parents who feel as exhausted as I do?

Exhausted and exasperated!

I feel so isolated, and drained by his ocd as it affects our daily lives.

Thanks. Hope to hear from someone- anyone who can identify.

My son is taking fluoxetine, but irregularly as he says it makes him dizzy and tired.

A shoulder to cry on and a listening ear, over the airwaves is better than none at all, so plz do g

et in touch.

Thanks!

Edited April 21, 2007 by Guest

[Guest tangoblu]

Hi there and welcome to the site :clapping:

I was just wondering if your son had benn given any CBT at any point since his diagnosis and if so did it help? The combination of medication and CBT are the best ways to fight OCD particularly if the CBT therapist has experience of OCD (not always an easy thing to find).

Another problem could be that the medication is not the right one for him...it might be worth going back to the GP or if he is seeing a psychologist - having a word about this ... if the medication is the wrong dosage or not having an effect or giving your son side effects it would be worht looking into trying another one.

It is such hard work living with OCD (for everyone concerned) and there are lots of parents, families, friends etc on here who are experiencing similar stressful lives so you are not alone... this place really was a lifeline for us when our son was first diagnosed.

Try to make sure you get some time out ... it is really important that you get a chance to recharge your batteries.

Is your son at college, working or at home? We find that when our son has too much time on his hands his OCD definately gets worse ...

Take care and let us know how you get on.

Pam

[Guest Versus OCD]

Hey there, i am a sufferer OCD and have been for the passed 5 years. I too suffer from the same symptoms to that of your son, handwashing, sickness and especially raw meat. Tangobalu said it all really, i was given CBT and it has worked miracles. I still sufer bouts where it gets extremely hard to deal with but you are not alone. My parents both felt fed up, drained and angry when i had the early stages of OCD. When i had CBT they noticed a big difference in me. I felt more happy to be around and my thoughts didn't affect the family. I know and your son probably knows that he is putting a strain on the family relationship and boy did i know too! I suggest for your son to have CBT. Also i would recommned a daily chat with your son, asking how his day has been but his answer is to be a positive one. :lol: My CBT was centralised around the home, my psychiatrist came to my home on a weekly basis and it helps as the home is where the thoughts can be more predominant etc. It is hard to explain but i hope you understand. :lol:

Keep strong and im sorry if i havent answered the question or offended you.

Take care,

VersusOCD

Edited May 4, 2007 by Guest

[soixante]

Hello,

This site has been a godsend to me since I joined, I felt so alone and isolated too. :dry:

I have to agree with the others CBT helped my son enormously. However it is not always easy to get, my son was diagnosed when he was 15/16 and qualified for treatment at that time as an adolescent, waiting times were pretty short, so within a couple of months he saw a psychiatrist and received counselling. He is 17 now, his CBT had to come to an end in December 2006 because of his age (it was supposed to stop when he was 16, actually, but he hadn't completed the treatment at that time. I know it can be more difficult as they get older to get them to see people who may be able to help.

My son has similar fears, not particularly germs as such but 'dirt' and his perception of dirt. Although I suppose if he thought about raw meat, germs and salmonella , long enough that could pose a problem too.

I find sometimes he can 'flip' if he sees something on tele, that might get him thinking.

Good luck, Keep posting, there are lots of friendly and really helpful people on this forum.

regards, Sue

[Guest Eustace-our name 4ocd]

Thank you all for your replies. It's helpful to know that I am not alone in this/

Please forgive me not replying to you all individually, I may do so at a time when I'm not so sleepy! It's late and I just logged in to see if there were any responses!

Thanks to Pam, and all of you guys for taking the time and the effort to reply.

CBT came up a few times in your responses.

The specialist who saw my son thought that he wouldnt benefit from CBT as he also has learning difficulties, and thought that any cbt treatment would be over his head.

I will look into it though as you have brought the suggestion afresh.

I will take him to the doc to chat about maybe changing his medication.

Thanks again all of you.

xxx

[Caramoole]

Hi There and to the Forum

I'm sorry to hear of your sons problems, OCD is a very difficult condition for both sufferer and family as it effects everyone in one way or another.

It must be very difficult for parents and difficult to know how to help and what you should/shouldn't be doing. Sufferers can be very persuasive in manipulating the behaviour of other family members in order to avoid anxiety from things that they are afraid of. Sadly, this doesn't really help the sufferer, except in the moment, in the very short term...in fact assisting with avoidance measures will actually help to maintain and worsen the grasp OCD already has. I can understand how hard it must be for families to stop complying with demands when all you want is your childs pain to stop, it's natural to want to make things easier for them but meeting OCD's demands won't help long term.

Your best tool is to learn as much as you possibly can about the condition and then help your son by helping him set goals to challenge these behaviours, it's by exposing himself to these fears that he will gain control. Your support and encouragement will be immeasurable. I don't know if you've read any of the self-help books but there are some excellent ones available and they're not too expensive. 'Brain Lock' by Dr. Jeffery. Schwarz is a very popular one...I also like 'Getting Control' by Lee Baer, they can be purchased via this site and can be found HERE

As the others have already mentioned, CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) would be of most value to your son and it's something I would suggest asking your GP about.

Challenging and changing these behaviours is your goal, even before CBT there is so much you can do yourselves. Perhaps a chat with your son to try and identify one of his less troublesome problems and encouraging him to make the decision to try and resist the rituals with the families support.

Good Luck to all of you

Caramoole