new here

[Guest SCUD]

Hi

New to site.

I'm in my 30's n been aware of my OCD(s) since a child.

Weird tho it may sound : i wouldn't be without them.

I've been thru sum heavy stuff n it's been my OCD(s) that have carried me thru most of it : keeping my life ordered, regulated etc

I'm very open about mine and my friends see it as an intergral part of 'me'.

Anyways...just thought i'd say 'Hi'

S

[Guest netgurl]

Hey there,S

and welcome to the forum! . Its great that you can find things that are positive from your OCD. Just wanted to say, that their some really great people on here so if you have any troubles or need to talk, dont be afraid to.

Take care

Lirelle

[Guest SCUD]

Hi Lirelle

Thanx for saying Hi.

I guess for sum my relationship with my OCD(s) can seem abit weird.

But hey...i am weird. lol

[Guest Deano]

What type of OCD do you have?

Would you like to explain how its beneficial to you to have OCD, don't feel pressured to reply its just I'm curious to how you see OCD as an integral part of life.

[Guest SCUD]

Hi Deano

Well...a long story but i'll try n be brief n to the point.

As a child i was a counter : everything was in two's eg 2, 2x2, 2x(2x2) etc. I used systems constantly. It was my main OCD then (i also washed hands constantly, touched certain parts of my body in order, had a set routine for going to sleep : more counting lol, and have never been without a lip balm for about 30yrs). I also used to have terrible night terrors about colours and shapes which i cant really explain but i have come across another person who had the same. One of my biggest fears was ending up insane (which happened to my Aunty) so i kept very quiet about my systems etc. Over the years i guess i thought that by allowing certain OCDs to become important in my life and others not i could control (to a certain extent : there are always rare moments when i catch myself freakin out! lol) the control they have generally. At 38 certain things are a no-go where i live and friends (esp my best freind) are cool with that. I've kinda turned it into eccentricity! No one else apart for me is allowed to do the washing up (i even do it in friends houses! They love it : they're a lazy bunch!). They know they will have to wait for me in the car as i go about my checks and re-checks. I lock the house down at night : they at least know it's safe (or is it....lol) and so on. I worked in a job where i could control tasks and where i could put in place systems and rules.

I guess OCD(s) come to fruition very differently in everyone. Some could say i was lucky that my OCDs are what they are and aren't worse etc. I dont think luck played a part. I know how close i am to certain OCDs (eg germwarfare! : i wipe everything down all the time but that is as far as i allow my thinking to do, i dont question it or further add to it, i wont let it 'grow' further than that. If i did maybe (full-on) it would cripple me). Maybe this makes sense maybe not?

I'm not even sure if i've answered your question (lol).

I guess it's saved my life because in really bad times (death of family members, accute illness, violence etc) the 'systems' have kept order to the chaos. This maybe complete illusion but hey im still standing

SCUD

[Guest Vic]

HI SCUD!

Welcome to the forum. Good to hear you are able to see some positive things having this negative illness lol. I also believe there are some good things OCD can bring us. Just for me I a little checker type... I check doors, faucets, lights about 2 - 3 times and if i am lucky I only closed it once lol. Well its better be sure than not.. hehehe

vic

[Guest SCUD]

Hi Vic

Indeed!

I have a little true story...

Me mate always took the mick outta my constantly checkin plugs n switches etc before we went out etc

That was until he left one on in his kitchen n due to faulty electrics burnt his kitchen down!

Honest.

Oh how i mocked him back

[Guest SCUD]

Vic

Sorry to re-message but im curious.

Do you really see ur OCD as both a: an illness and b: a negative thing to have?

I'm interested.

SCUD

[Guest Vic]

As long as you are able to manage it to some level checking can be a good thing - check it once or twice is ok (my opinion). But one instance I am not able to check one of the faucet... (i don't really check it coz it is rarely used... my mother left it out... and she blames me... no wonder I have this compulsion... lol) but deep down i just laugh at it and move on

[Guest Vic]

Vic

Sorry to re-message but im curious.

Do you really see ur OCD as both a: an illness and b: a negative thing to have?

I'm interested.

SCUD

I think both it is an annoying illness and also a negative thing to have... but what the heck! we have it and we will have this imbalance in our brain for our lifetime... I hope they find cure with this but for the meantime I am learning to live with it, learning to control and manage it and finding some miniscule good thing about this.

vic

[Guest SCUD]

Vic

Hope u didnt mind me asking?

I certainly dont want to come across on here as a

I know i've always walked a very thin line between accommodating my OCD and allowing it to take over but i think id def loose the plot if my OCDs were 'taken' or cured.

Mayb thats an OCD in itself!!! lol

[Guest Vic]

But you can be a good person without OCD. Like my mother always check the door once before she sleeps. Does she have OCD?... NO We can be responsible people without it... plus no anxiety no depression and no intrusive thought... How I wish I didn't have it.

[Guest SCUD]

But you can be a good person without OCD. Like my mother always check the door once before she sleeps. Does she have OCD?... NO We can be responsible people without it... plus no anxiety no depression and no intrusive thought... How I wish I didn't have it.

Yes of course Vic

I'm here trying to understand it like everyone else.

I'm not sure what u mean about without OCD we can be good and responsible?

Also many people without OCD have anxiety, depresson and intrusive thoughts. Not having OCD does not guarantee you wont have them.

[Guest Vic]

We can be good and responsible by CHOOSING to be.

Yes normal people might have depression, anxiety and intrusive but it only only happens to them in certain time or circumtances but it doesn't last long. Yes they do have intrusive thought but it is automatically ignore by their brain and move on. But with OCD it is recurrent and sticks like a bubble gum.

[Guest h_777]

I agree, of course you can be a good responsible person without the OCD, i.e. checking the locks once or twice but not 100...

Some of my 'OCDs' I guess I would say were useful, like to an extent my organising, (everything in order/ tidy/ clean) but then they do not really cause me any anxiety and so I wouldn't actually call them OCD... a little obsessive personality maybe but then yes that is me and I am content to know that I will always be a perfectionist who likes CDs in alphabetical order, and socks colour co-ordinated.

My real OCD goes deeper than that, like my constant analysing and questioning, and I would dearly love to be free of this inner voice that second guesses EVERY SINGLE thought I have, trying to decide if it was really 'me' who thought it, or if it was somebody else that I was just copying... or the whirring in my brain at 3am getting me so worked up about whether the Universe is real, or whether there is a God, or whether I need to really be here, or where 'here' is, to the point that I am ready to end it all. Or the part of me that won't let me do any jobs until they are down in a list and prioritised, and then ticked, double-ticked, crossed through once, twice, 3 times, highlighted, then crossed out again and eventually scribbled over to ensure that I have 'really' done them. I would give anything to be able to trust myself and my mind and my memory. That part of OCD is an illness, but like you there are other quirks or personality things that I know are just always going to be there and I don't mind.

Anyway just my 2 cents worth!

Vic, just realised we have the same quote on our signatures!

It's a good one.

H

[Guest SCUD]

Guys n Gals....

Can we drop this now.

I was only answering a question asked of me.

[Guest h_777]

sorry i thought we were all just discussing? :blushing:

comparing what we thought?

I actually just thought your thread was interesting and I wanted to join in...

Edited March 27, 2008 by Guest

[Guest SCUD]

No im sorry h_777

Just felt abit ganged up on! lol

Should know better at my age.

My OCDs felt a bit dissed.

I've only been here a couple of days n maybe i dont really fit in kinda thing.

I know i talk sometimes. lol

I apologise once more.

I wanna say things but it's abit like walking on eggshells if u know what i mean (?)

SCUD

[Rachie]

Hi Scud,

Please don't feel like that! I think it's an interesting thread. I think because OCD can cause so much distress and can be so devastating, it's fascinating to hear someone say they wouldn't be without their OCD. I don't think anyone is deliberately ganging up on you. Please don't feel you're not welcome here or don't fit in.

Rach

[Guest SCUD]

Thanx

Guess my original 'Hi' thread took on a life of its own.

30yrs of living with me OCDs means im just very protective of them.

Tis all gud tho...im not leaving just yet! lol

[Guest Vic]

Hi h 777

I know how you feel regarding questioning things in microscopic level. I used to analyze why we salivate, why we sleep and is there God or we came from monkey(I AM NOT). But i think in the end we just have to accept things for what they are and leave the details on the wind... we can't have all the answers in this world. And also I believe "Life is bunch of beliefs" so if you believe in God then BELIEVE no one can take that away from us...

Vic, just realised we have the same quote on our signatures!

It's a good one.

Yeah! I like that quotes...

HI SCUD

I hope I don't offend you in any way just trying to make my point. Maybe that's the reason your OCD doesn't aggravate/worsen you accepted it as a part of you... and you gain control by doing so.

TC

vic

Edited March 28, 2008 by Guest

[Guest SCUD]

Hi Vic

Yeah tis something like that.

I still have mad days tho : just grin n get on with it best i can. They kinda got less frequent as the years went on.

I find it hard to worry anymore about the things that could or may happen in my life as most of them have happened and they were mainly brought on by things/people outside of my control. OCD wasnt there at those times but it did allow me to pick up the pieces and add order again to my life. Guess its kinda like a buffer for me. Maybe i think that at those times if i hadnt have had my OCD to see me through what would have happened to me. In all honesty i dont think i'd be here today.

SCUD

ps u didnt cause offence buddy! :a1_cheesygrin:

[Guest Vic]

Hi SCUD!

I am also learning to accept it as a part of me. I mean I have this brain I can't cut it and take it out. It is a part of me. It doesn't mean we will ruminate or continuously wash our hand or check I just think when the instrusive thought comes let it be. Say what it has to say... but we must know what's the real thing and what OCD thing is. Its hard because a lot of times OCD thoughts seems so real... but we all know in our heart what is true and that's we should follow. This what separate us from animals with OCD our ability to discern by heart (a gift from GOD).

Its good SCUD you are able to see things in a positive way especially regarding your OCD and how it help you in some situations. Hope your feeling good today!

TC

vic

Edited March 28, 2008 by Guest

[Rachie]

Scud, have you been diagnosed as having OCD? I'm just wondering whether in fact you might be OCPD, which is a bit different from OCD and I think causes less distress to sufferers.

Do you mind my asking what prompted you to join us here, was it to meet similar people or to share your experiences? I'm just curious.

Rach x

[Guest Deano]

Good post Rachie, I certainly cant find any positives with having OCD I'm sorry to say!

True point said by Vic that the brain is the brain and it makes us have thoughts we don't wont and we cant change that. Just being albe to accept the thought, remember what it is "Just a thought" and carry on regardless is good enough for me because thats what people without OCD do which is per-say "A Normal Thing To Do"

Edited March 28, 2008 by Guest