Told my partner

[Guest louise88]

Hi everyone,

After a flurry of messages and a near-addiction to this site, I've not been on here for a a few weeks. This is because I've been feeling much better and this is largely because I have started to share the thoughts that I have posted on this forum with my lovely partner and intend to continue sharing this part of my life with him.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who advised me to share my thoughts with him-it was what I wanted to do anyway, but the forum gave me room to vent and get some stability in my own mind before doing this.

As it happens, he was delighted I had spoken to him and gave his full insight into my thoughts. He appears to innately understand my underlying obsessiveness about certain things and isn't fazed by it, so I am very lucky. He has also said that it meant a lot to him that I had spoken to him.

If you are in a secure relationship, I would advise anyone to talk to their loved ones about OCD as calmly and honestly as possible as it certainly has helped me. What I am trying to do now is not seek reassurance. I have explained to my partner that I will want to do this and that every time I tell him what I have been thinking, I will worry because I have forgotten to tell him something and if I told him this 'something' that I'd forgotten to tell him he would have a different view of what might have happened. I know that there is also a danger that I will feel that in telling him, I have manipulated him, because this is a way of me just feeling better about something bad that I might have done.

All of these things, I have explained to my partner and he said he doesn't mind, he just wants me to keep talking to him.

In conclusion, I feel more in control of things, although obviously still have my moments. I still suffer from false memories and trying to understand where my thoughts come from and why I was so convinced I was guilty. I also still think that 'this feels different from my other OCD times, so it can't be OCD' . At the same time I feel more aware of myself and what my mind is capable of. This is why I haven't posted for a while and hopefully will be posting less often or not very much at all in the future. I will be back on with my insights and bad days if they flare up again!

Right now, though, I am very happy and want to thank you for all your support when I was having a really bad patch a few weeks ago :-)

Louise x

[scared&worn out]

Hi Louise,

That is fantastic news. I am so happy for you. Keep up the good work xx

[Guest legend]

Good news louise... glad that things are better,, and good that your partner has a good understanding

take care

;legend.

[carolj]

Well done :clapping: and what a great partner!!

[Guest Gemini]

That's great Louise. My husband is very understanding too. The hardest part is not asking him reassurance. Well done for talking to your partner and hope you continue to feel better.

best wishes

Gemini

[Guest louise88]

Thanks guys. I will keep trying to be positive and strong and try to see this as all part of learning in life. I know I am lucky to have someone to talk to.

It bears reminding everyone too that what ever seems so worrying and wrong and guilt-inducing in your own head really does not seem nearly as bad to others and we need to learn to see ourselves as others see us. We can all get through this. All the best to all of you! x