AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Caramoole]

I think some fears are rational, e.g. it's rational to be worried about being ill, as it's a health risk to be ill, so we want to avoid it.

It's very common to try and justify our particular fears. Yes of course we want to avoid being ill....but to most people, being sick is just that, we're sick, it's not nice...but it happens and we get over it.

With a phobia the percieved outcome is disproportionate to the reality.

[Guest TangoGirl]

It's very common to try and justify our particular fears. Yes of course we want to avoid being ill....but to most people, being sick is just that, we're sick, it's not nice...but it happens and we get over it.

With a phobia the percieved outcome is disproportionate to the reality.

Well, being sick has more justification than some phobias, I think.

Yeah, I guess you're right about it being disproportionate to the reality.

I just feel so stuck. If I try and deal with my OCD, my emetophobia gets in the way, and vice versa. It's like a catch 22.

I'm so stuck!

[Caramoole]

Well, being sick has more justification than some phobias, I think

I'd have to disagree with you there. To a sufferer of a phobia they each feel they're just as problematic

I just feel so stuck. If I try and deal with my OCD, my emetophobia gets in the way, and vice versa.

You have to treat them as the same enemy, false and over exagerrated fears to a psychological, anxiety/fear response.

I loathe and detest being sick and will avoid it if possible.....if I am, I am...but wouldn't die from it...nor will you.

I completely understand your fear but it's an exaggerated fear caused by a phobic responce

[Guest TangoGirl]

I'd have to disagree with you there. To a sufferer of a phobia they each feel they're just as problematic

You have to treat them as the same enemy, false and over exagerrated fears to a psychological, anxiety/fear response.

I loathe and detest being sick and will avoid it if possible.....if I am, I am...but wouldn't die from it...nor will you.

I completely understand your fear but it's an exaggerated fear caused by a phobic responce

That's the problem. I'm not afraid of dying from it. I would RATHER die than suffer it.

[Caramoole]

That's the problem. I'm not afraid of dying from it. I would RATHER die than suffer it.

But that's like any sufferer of any phobia, fear, OCD problem...it's no different.

It's a false and irrational fear that we either face, get through the anxiety or continue to suffer from.

The fears you face are horrible, they're ones we hate, will try to avoid at any cost...but the fear is disproportionate to reality. It's getting through the anxiety that's important.

[Guest TangoGirl]

But that's like any sufferer of any phobia, fear, OCD problem...it's no different.

It's a false and irrational fear that we either face, get through the anxiety or continue to suffer from.

The fears you face are horrible, they're ones we hate, will try to avoid at any cost...but the fear is disproportionate to reality. It's getting through the anxiety that's important.

Noone likes being sick, so it's not that irrational.

How do I get through the anxiety?

[Guest Heryn]

Hi Heryn,

No need to apologise. I'm just trying to get people to understand how hard it is. Nobody seems to understand.

Thanks, but I have the same problem tonight

TG x

No worries.

I have IBS and suffer from nausea and stomach pain very regularly. Have you spoken to your GP this fear?Have they suggested any anti-emetics?

That panicky feeling so beloved of OCD will make you feel worse, as well.

take care

Heryn

[Guest TangoGirl]

I am so sorry to hear that Heryn. I admire you so much! How do you cope?!

I think my GP knows. What are anti-emetics? No, they haven't suggested them.

Yeah, panic doesn't help, though I am not panicky that often, as my life is so full of avoidance behaviour...

Thanks for your help :original:

TG x

[Guest Heryn]

I am so sorry to hear that Heryn. I admire you so much! How do you cope?!

I think my GP knows. What are anti-emetics? No, they haven't suggested them.

Thanks.

They're anti-sickness tablets. I take them myself. There are different kinds; something like cyclizine is an anti-histamine and works on the brain centre (I think) to stop the feeling of nausea whereas others work to slow down the stomach spasms. Your GP will obviously be better equpped to advise you.

BTW writing this off the top of my head so sorry if it doesn't make sense.

[Guest TangoGirl]

Thanks, and don't be sorry!

My mum just told me that my brother and sister bring honour and glory to my parents. Not me. I bring depression and sadness and anger and arguments.

I feel so special now... So special I want to kill myself

Edited September 2, 2009 by Guest

[Guest SallyB]

TangoGirl,

Please don't take this comment of your mum's to heart - I know it is difficult, but I also know that each of us has something indivdual and special to bring to the world - and your mum obviously cannot recognise that.

I hate having OCD but because I have it I have talked to other people who suffer from it and offered them some hope - in that I live a 'relatively normal life'. I know that I don't achieve what I could achieve or live a full life - as there are so many things that I find difficult, but I do the best with what I have and I try to treat others with a generosity of spirit and kindness - that is often sent back to me in bundles.

What I am trying to say to you is - OCD is a struggle, it makes us behave in ways that others do not understand. However that means we are knowledgeable about difficulties and can be more understanding of others or have skills and experiences that others do not have which make us really special.

Things are horrible for you at the moment but they will get better - you will learn to deal with the ogre OCD and you will be a stronger person as a result. Just keep trying.

Take care

Sally

[Guest TangoGirl]

TangoGirl,

Please don't take this comment of your mum's to heart

How can I not?

[Guest SallyB]

That's a really difficult one. I come from a background with really difficult parents where I was the black sheep and never really measured up. I think that the key for me is to recognise that my mother is just one person with one opinion - and that I don't agree with her opinion of me.

Have you friends that could tell you what they feel are your good points? Or another relative? Try to save up all the lovely things that people say to you and say them to yourself when others are saying things that are thoughtless or hurtful. She really is only one person with one opinion - it does not mean she is right.

Sally

[Guest TangoGirl]

That's a really difficult one. I come from a background with really difficult parents where I was the black sheep and never really measured up. I think that the key for me is to recognise that my mother is just one person with one opinion - and that I don't agree with her opinion of me.

Have you friends that could tell you what they feel are your good points? Or another relative? Try to save up all the lovely things that people say to you and say them to yourself when others are saying things that are thoughtless or hurtful. She really is only one person with one opinion - it does not mean she is right.

Sally

I can't believe she compared my brother and sister to me like that. It's so unfair.

[Ashley]

I can't believe she compared my brother and sister to me like that. It's so unfair.

To be honest TG I agree, from what you have suggested it is not a very nice thing to have been said to you and I can understand why you're upset and angry, but.... and you know there would be a but :laugh: you have a choice now, you can sit and dwell on it, which will only upset you more or you can use this to make you more angry at the illness to make you this way and more determined to get on top of it one day.

[FYD]

Because I'll never be able to control my digestive system, for example, but people can control whether they're around spiders or not, for example.

Not strictly true, I want my flat to be spider free but they always find a way in one way or the other. I can't avoid my flat or bedroom!

If it was a phobia of something like spiders, yeah, I could expose myself to it and get over it much quicker. This, though, is much more complicated. I can't just expose myself to it. I'd rather die

I think I'm begining to appretiate TG's difficulties in overcomming emetophobia. I mean, how on earth do you gradually expose yourself to this? With spiders I can start with different sizes and distances, then get closer and closer. But vomitting? Do you start by imagining it? Then pretend you are sick by the old acting trick of spitting out a mouthful of vegetable soup? Then progress up to a sick belch and finally ending up putting your fingers down your throat??

I'm not trying to be flippant but it seems you can't grade exposure for this one. You either are sick or you ain't. Once you are sick you don't have much say in the matter controlling when want to stop.

Hope you have a better night tonight.

[Guest TangoGirl]

Thank you FYD! I appreciate your understanding :original:

My point exactly!

TG x

[Guest sarah29]

Hey TG,

I agree with Ashley that's what I was getting at the other day. Like I said to you before my mum says exactly the same sort of things to me and I think sometimes we need to take a step back and realise there is an element of truth in it; that our OCD means we aren't always full of joy and optimism. So rather than using all your energy thinking about how cruel it was of her to say that you would be far better off admitting to yourself that your OCD can be hard on those around you too, which would make you more determined to overcome it That's how I try and think about it when my parents get impatient with me xx

[Guest TangoGirl]

Hey TG,

I agree with Ashley that's what I was getting at the other day. Like I said to you before my mum says exactly the same sort of things to me and I think sometimes we need to take a step back and realise there is an element of truth in it; that our OCD means we aren't always full of joy and optimism. So rather than using all your energy thinking about how cruel it was of her to say that you would be far better off admitting to yourself that your OCD can be hard on those around you too, which would make you more determined to overcome it That's how I try and think about it when my parents get impatient with me xx

This is too hard.

Firstly, I know how hard it can be on those around me, but I don't have the time, energy or emotion to comfort them from my OCD. I can't even cope with my own OCD problems, never mind theirs.

Everything has got worse. I even have compulsions about compulsions, and I don't have any meals anymore at all. Everything is getting worse, and there's noone I can turn to for help. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't go to the toilet, I can't breathe without anxiety getting in the way.

On top of this, I still haven't heard back from my MSP after 20 days, plus my parents think I won't get the treatment I need.

I just wish that crying for long enough would kill me, as I feel like crying now, but won't be able to stop if I start.

[Guest Heryn]

Everything has got worse. I even have compulsions about compulsions, and I don't have any meals anymore at all. Everything is getting worse, and there's noone I can turn to for help. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't go to the toilet, I can't breathe without anxiety getting in the way.

On top of this, I still haven't heard back from my MSP after 20 days, plus my parents think I won't get the treatment I need.

I just wish that crying for long enough would kill me, as I feel like crying now, but won't be able to stop if I start.

Hi TG

Have you tried requesting an emergency appointment with your GP? It doesn't have to be face to face, it can be over the phone.

You could also try Samaritans: jo@samaritans.org

When you feel a bit better get on to your MSP again. They get paid enough

best

Heryn

[Guest TangoGirl]

Hi Heryn,

I had a telephone appointment with my GP recently, though it wasn't an emergency appointment. I've talked to him about it before, but he just says to work with my local team (sigh)

I will never use Samaritans. I phoned them once feeling really suicidal, and because I told them I was, (and still am), a Christian, so wouldn't go through with it at the time, (who knows if I'd go through with it in the future), they said, "Sorry, we only help people who are suicidal", then got rid of me. I would never use them and don't recommend anyone else using them.

I emailed my MSP yesterday, so hopefully they will reply soon. I emailed them last week, but had no reply, so got in touch again. It's so annoying!

Thanks,

TG x

[Guest pringles]

Hi TG,

Just read all your posts, I hope you are feeling better, I really do, this OCD is a real bully.

With my OCD I remember when I was at school and was bullied really badly, I even got a pen stabbed into my hand, when i got home my father used to beat my mother and the one person I needed to put his arm round me, used to tell me that I was a pig and so on, all this at 10 years old.(I have never told anyone this before, your the first) I know it hurts when the people you love are cruel, and it it feels very lonely, your mum was wrong to say that to you, but I just know she loves you, and some people feel you have to be cruel to be kind, youll proberly find she loves you the most out of your brother and sister, but she doesnt know how to help.

Sorry for waffling, I guess what I am trying to say is, i use my past to kick my OCD, I couldnt avoid what happened in the past, but this lying false freind is my own demon, its in my head, I'm hurting myself, like all of us, I dont know about you but I wouldnt put up with a slap in the face by a stranger, so why do this to ourselves, your worth fighting for, I have never met you, but listening to your posts, you have a big heart, and thats worth keeping safe.

Love Pringles x :a1_cheesygrin:

[Guest TangoGirl]

Hi TG,

Just read all your posts, I hope you are feeling better, I really do, this OCD is a real bully.

With my OCD I remember when I was at school and was bullied really badly, I even got a pen stabbed into my hand, when i got home my father used to beat my mother and the one person I needed to put his arm round me, used to tell me that I was a pig and so on, all this at 10 years old.(I have never told anyone this before, your the first) I know it hurts when the people you love are cruel, and it it feels very lonely, your mum was wrong to say that to you, but I just know she loves you, and some people feel you have to be cruel to be kind, youll proberly find she loves you the most out of your brother and sister, but she doesnt know how to help.

Sorry for waffling, I guess what I am trying to say is, i use my past to kick my OCD, I couldnt avoid what happened in the past, but this lying false freind is my own demon, its in my head, I'm hurting myself, like all of us, I dont know about you but I wouldnt put up with a slap in the face by a stranger, so why do this to ourselves, your worth fighting for, I have never met you, but listening to your posts, you have a big heart, and thats worth keeping safe.

Love Pringles x :a1_cheesygrin:

Hi Pringles,

Thank you for your kind message. I feel very privileged to be the first to be told that. Well done for sharing it, and thank you for sharing your experience.

My mum and I did make up, but I know she'll say something similar the next time we argue. Maybe that's one of the reasons it annoys me so much. When she said sorry, she said she shouldn't have used the word 'glory', and it was a mistake int he heat of the moment. She did, however, mean to use 'honour' because my sister and brother honour my dad, whereas my mum was emphasising the fact that I don't-my dad I don't have much of a relationship, if any. So, I guess I was in the wrong, again. The thing is, it didn't seem to be about my dad at the time. Oh well. Me in the wrong as usual.

What also hurts me right now is that we were talking about how it's the beginning of a new era, as my brother has now put down a deposit for a flat in London, (as he started a permanent job), and my sister is moving back to Glasgow in October, so they are starting a new era, yet all I'm starting is new symptoms. It was my plan to be in London and have a flat and job and life. Now I have nothing, except a disabling illness which prevents me from being happy. Every time people mention my brother getting a flat, (my sister's flat doesn't bother me as much, as I've known about it for a while, plus it's not in London), it really gets to me, and while I'm happy for him, all it does is remind me of what I don't have.

Aww Thank you Pringles. Well, you definitely have a big heart too. (and don't be sorry! You weren't waffling!;-) )

Love,

TG x