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I feel so horrible as if I'm dead


Guest krkr

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Why do coincidence about my OCD happen often? today I heard on the radio something about my main fear as if it's directly pointed at me. I felt as if all my blood gone completely cold and my life is over. I can't live this way, I hope God knows that I'm in so much misery and I can't take this pain anymore, I don't know why I can't get mercy and peace, I desperately need it, instead this ugly coincidence crosses my path to scare the hell out of me, what have I done, God know that I'm so miserable and unhappy, I almost got nothing at all in my life to make me happy, only one thing that makes me happy and I can't live without it. God know that I'll die of sorrow. why is this happening to me? I don't want to die because I feel already dead. I hope there will be mercy for me.

oh my god I feel like hell, this is hell, I feel as if my heart is being snatched out of my chest.

Edited by krkr
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I don't know what to do I'm not a bad person I'm really good I didn't hurt anybody so I don't deserve this misery, I guess I'm the one who was deeply abused and hurt since my childhood I don't deserve this. I don't know what to do to get out of this hell. I wish God to have mercy.

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Hi krkr - I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I also have this kind of thing where I see coincidences activating my OCD. I find, though, that partly it is because my awareness is so heightened to everything because I am checking my thoughts and surroundings constantly for things that are happening and linking it to my OCD. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of OCD and triggers are you having?

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Guest quicheme

Man it sounds like part of your problems are a trouble with God. I've been meaning to phone my local church and speak to the father there for years now but I've been too scared. I can't really give you advice that I may not carry out myself but it may help you :weep:

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