Gemzi3 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I feel so alone, I can't help think the thoughts in my head are true although I'll never know, start work again at 4am tomorrow I don't have any friends in life to talk too Link to comment
Guest Amanda43 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Thoughts !!! That's all they are my love!! Just let them be!! Stop trying to fight them. x Link to comment
Guest Zzowie Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 your not alone,ive often felt that way,you've lot's of people here who can relate to what you say and will help you get through it. In the short term maybe try to think of other things,try to focus on something else you enjoy,even coronation st of the paper,or make up, eventually you can learn to let go as I'm doing now.. Is there any support groups in your area? Link to comment
Guest legend Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I feel so alone, I can't help think the thoughts in my head are true although I'll never know, start work again at 4am tomorrow I don't have any friends in life to talk too where are ya family and friends gone to gem XX Link to comment
Superblade Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 you do have friends, you can always talk to us on here, we are all your friends, the reason you don,t know if the thoughts in your head are true is because you have ocd and ocd loves doubt. when you,re not feeling as anxious and worked up what do you beleive then? Its your ocd making you feel this way its been doing exactly the same to me again today, trying to make me doubt something that i have no way of being 100per cent sure of. Please try and refocus and regain a sense of calm, things wont seem half as bad, i,m on here most days to talk to or for advice so you do have at least one friend to talk to, we are all in the same boat .take care kindest regards paul Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 I don't know , my mum and dad don't understand, my boyfriend lives in London. I don't have any friends. They are just thoughts. But thoughts that could be true therefore I should feel guilty aboutth as if they happened I don't deserve to live. I will use a distraction for now, I'll put my iPod on, but I always wake up during the night.....and they come back Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 14, 2012 Author Share Posted May 14, 2012 In answer to the previous question I don't believe there are any ocd support groups in the Renfrewshire area X Link to comment
Guest legend Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 I don't know , my mum and dad don't understand, my boyfriend lives in London. I don't have any friends. They are just thoughts. But thoughts that could be true therefore I should feel guilty aboutth as if they happened I don't deserve to live. I will use a distraction for now, I'll put my iPod on, but I always wake up during the night.....and they come back In what way do mum and dad not understand ? do you think that if you printed off stuff from the site and gave it to them it might help all thoughts could be true, but thats yourself falling into the loops of fear.doubt etc ..... its a game the ocd wants to play grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Link to comment
Guest Lyn77 Posted May 14, 2012 Share Posted May 14, 2012 Hey I understand what you are going through. I read this post and registered to the site to respond. I also live in Renfrewshire area. Have you been to see your gp? I first developed OCD about 3 years ago. I still suffer although it is muh more manageable following help from groups, psychologist and time. Please feel free to chat to me. X Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 Lynn here is my background http://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?showtopic=47942&pid=403115&st=0entry403115 Feel free to pm me of reply I showed my parents the pure o slide show but I don't have anyone here who does get it. Getting up for work again it's so hard when I feel down. Sometimes I have this horrible feeling thinking what If this never goes away and I'm always going to feel like this? Obviously that's negative thinking but sometimes it's hard to make myself read my books and start learning more Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 Lynn its on page two of the forum called "can I talk to someone? My story" Link to comment
Guest Lyn77 Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Just read your story. Lots of it sounds like mine. I totally know what you are going through! it can be so horrible sometimes but i have been reading alot on a website called pick the brain lately and it is giving me lots of positive thoughts and ideas of how to turn things around. I particularly liked the article day 62 - how to stop taking life so seriously. It kinda put things into perspective for me but there are tonns of interesting articles to read on there. I hope you are feeling better today xx Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 Ill have a look at it - thanks I have my phychologist appointment today so I guess Ill see how that goes. Its hard because in alot of books they say how ocd sufferers will never do the thought there thinking, but I did, therefore Im not sure how to treat it or move on from it? Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Share Posted May 15, 2012 Because there is truth in it Link to comment
Guest legend Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 Because there is truth in it still in that loop matey xxx Link to comment
Guest mondot Posted May 17, 2012 Share Posted May 17, 2012 We're here for you Gemzi. I think you're just stuck in a negative cycle and have been for awhile. Don't lose hope. What are you doing for yourself these days to lower your anxiety? Or doing to distract yourself or keep busy? xx Mondot Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 18, 2012 Author Share Posted May 18, 2012 I was talking with my phychologist and I got really angry the other day. Ive never had unprotected sex, Ive always been careful, only slept with 4 people in my life, always careful. Only ever not used condoms with my boyfriend of 5 years now, but on the pill. When I was younger in school I know girls who were silly and got pregnant and went for abortions and stuff, I know of bout 4 different girls. I was always so sensible. And Im a good person. If i really did see a positive pregnancy test I would have been responsible and went to my doctors, but obviously the next day or something mabye I took another, or mabye Im making this memory up. I got so angry. Its not fair. I try to be good to everyone. My phychologist was saying how Im a good person and I started crying, never cried infront of him, obviously he has hit a nerve so he asked me to write a compassionite letter to myself, so Ill do that. I forgive others so easily but I NEVER forgive myself, and its not fair. First time ive felt like this whole ocd isnt fair. I DONT deserve it, and thats very hard for me and I blame myself for everything. Link to comment
Guest Lyn77 Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 Hey I hope you are feeling better. You should not blame yourself it's not your fault. It is actually because you are such a good person that these thoughts bother you. I was reading on the royal college psychiatry that people with OCD have high moral standards. I remember last year being at the stage where I was angry and annoyed and had hate for my OCD. But really it is only your brain trying to look out for you..I remember reading that when you have a thought u don't like a little red flag goes up and your drawn back to that thought over and over...you have thousands of thoughts every day and most float in and out but we grab on to the ones which scare us and cause us physical sensations and anxiety..our mind just wants to help us to deal with the thought...the problem is that it is hard to let go...you have to say to yourself it is ok..kind of thank yourself for identifying the thought and let it go. I hope you are well. X Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 Not doing too great today, u dont have enough distractions.. Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Share Posted May 23, 2012 Feeling good today, then feeling guilty for feeling good as I shouldn't be forgiving for what I've done Link to comment
Guest PaulM Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 I can relate to the guilt. But not the good day. I wish I was having one. So enjoy it. Link to comment
Guest legend Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Feeling good today, then feeling guilty for feeling good as I shouldn't be forgiving for what I've done doubting yourself x Link to comment
Gemzi3 Posted May 28, 2012 Author Share Posted May 28, 2012 Not so good today, working full shifts for the first time since January Today 1400-2200 Tomorrow 1100-1900 Wednesday 0500-1300 Then next week I'm working 1400-2200 onto a 0600-1400 the next day. The place isn't good for me I don't know when I'm coming or going Link to comment
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