Please help...

[richardf89]

I feel like such a user; I've been away from the forums for a very long time, and as soon as I'm struggling, suddenly I come running back.

I'm so scared because my depression has got the better of me; today I am genuinely contemplating suicide, things are just too much. About midday today my mood suddenly turned, I cannot put it into words but I feel worried sick, as though I will explode. I'm shaking so much now and feel like crying but I can't. I can't go on feeling like this, but I don't know who to talk to so I don't do something stupid. Doing something silly seems the only way to stop feeling like this.

I phoned the Samaritans today but hung up because I was too scared to talk, I just don't know what to do.

[joanne123]

Hi Richard your not a user at all that is what the forums are here for to use when your struggling. I am sorry to hear your feeling so depressed, What are you worrying over to make you feel so bad xx

[Guest ihaveocd23]

Hi richard I'm sorry to hear your struggling the forums here to help. Don't give up hope. Ur not a user like joanne said, I know what it feels like when you have no hope left. What are you worring about?? Maybe talking will help.

[Guest Nik]

Hi Richard,

The forums are here to help so you are in no way a user. It sounds like you are in a very bad place at the moment, if these thoughts get worse then I suggest you get yourself to A&E, your safety is the most important thing right now.

[Guest Nikki79]

Hi Richard

How are you now? Hope you are feeling a little better? We are all kind on this site and there is no such thing as a user. We are here to help you. My thoughts are with you x

[Guest Zee]

Hi Richard - so sorry to hear your suffering - please dont feel you a user...this is simply not the case. There are many nice, caring people on this forum and we help and support each other. It's very nice you have come back and i hope you will stay around. If you want a chat please feel free to PM (private message) me, sometimes it helps to talk with someone you dont know.

Take care

Zee :original:

[richardf89]

Thanks everyone for the kind words.

Thankfully I distracted myself for the day and am feeling a bit better today. I get these awful waves come over me every few weeks, where I start to panic and can't stop shaking. The worries are usually quite varied, but at the moment I'm struggling a lot with religious anxiety: is there a god? going to hell, etc. I know it sounds a bit weird, but for some reason this is a massive worry of mine.

R.

[Guest sarah1984]

Hi Richard,

I'm glad to hear you managed to distract yourself and you're feeling slightly better - well done there! Are you currently getting any help - either medication or CBT? I'd really recommend booking an appointment to see your doctor asap. I'd also recommend looking into simple breathing and relaxation exercises to help you deal with the panic attacks. I thought you might be interested in this article by Fred Penzel on OCD and religion: http://www.wsps.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=73:let-he-who-is-without-sin-religious-obsessions&catid=36:ocd-and-related-subjects-by-frederick-penzel-phd&Itemid=64.

I hope you start to feel better soon - take care.

Sarah

[richardf89]

Thank you for the link, Sarah. It has helped me into my continuing quest for understanding.

OCD has been called 'The Doubting Disease'. It's a fact of life that we must deal with uncertainty; there are very few things that we can be truly certain of. I know it's not only people with OCD who struggle with uncertainty, but it certainly hasn't helped me! I'm just trying to come to terms with living in the present, and not trying to answer every question that springs to mind.

'What does my friend really think of me?' 'Is there a god?' 'What's the best way to live my life?' 'What's going to happen in the future?' These are some of the questions that trouble me, but they are also questions that can't be answered definitively. I/we just need to learn to live with this.

R.

[Guest ldsruminations]

Hi Richard. I too suffer with religious ocd. Can't stop thinking if god exists or not, amongst other things. I too become consumed with it that I can't do anything until its resolved.

If you ever need to talk or message me you can. I know what you're going through with the religious worries.

Needing to talk or connect with someone does not make you a user. Id be more sad If you didn't think you could post and ask for help.

You've done the right thing.

[Guest ldsruminations]

Hi Richard. I too suffer with religious ocd. Can't stop thinking if god exists or not, amongst other things. I too become consumed with it that I can't do anything until its resolved.

If you ever need to talk or message me you can. I know what you're going through with the religious worries.

Needing to talk or connect with someone does not make you a user. Id be more sad If you didn't think you could post and ask for help.

You've done the right thing.

[Guest sarah1984]

Hi Richard,

It's a fact of life that we must deal with uncertainty; there are very few things that we can be truly certain of.

You've made a very good point there. An intolerance of uncertainty plays a major role in most cases of OCD. Unfortunately, the way the OCD brain works means that we're only happy with 100% absolute certainty and this is a pretty big demand when so much is uncertain in this life. I recently read a very interesting OCD self-help book - Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty by Dr Jonathan Grayson: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Freedom-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-Personalized/dp/042519955X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339506430&sr=8-1. Grayson's argument is that in order to beat OCD the sufferer must first relinquish their quest for absolute certainty and he sets out innovative techniques to increase the sufferer's tolerance for uncertainty. If an intolerance of uncertainty plays a major role in your OCD I would highly recommend reading this book - it's really thought-provoking and quite different from other OCD self-help books I've read. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to get hold of a copy because it's an American book that was published a few years back - I managed to get my copy through an Amazon marketplace seller.

I hope you have a better week this week,

Sarah