What to do next ? Please advise

[Guest Zee]

Hi

I have beaten all my other obsessions apart from one. About 1 year ago i had a terrible thought "what if" i had done something inappropriate to my child when while we were both asleep but i couldn't remember doing it (due to being asleep). My child sometimes sleeps in our bed due to being scared off the dark etc. I thought i was over this - i treated it as ocd and even did exposure of intentionally letting our child sleep in the bed.

However the other night i had a weird dream and our child was sleeping in the bed and i woke up and thought "Oh my God, what if i had touched him inappropriately while I was asleep but cant remember". This sent my anxiety levels through the roof and i made the mistake of ruminating over this, Yesterday i gathered some strength and stopped engaging with the thoughts ie doing the four steps and im getting better again.

I would like to ask how can i make sure this obsession doesn't crop up again? I still have a slight doubt "what if i did do something" and because i cant get 100% clarity wont i always hold this guilt that maybe i did? What exposure could i do?

Thank you Zee

ps i know deep down i didnt do anything the thought makes me sick to the stomach, i was abused as a kid and i could never ever do that to someone. I wonder if that is why i have this obsession.

Edited April 1, 2013 by Zee

[Guest legend]

Difficult to say whether you have these thoughts because of the past events, as they are common in ocd regardless of whether you were

abused or not.

Of course you cannot rid yourself of the thoughts, but what we can work at , as you know is working at allowing it to be there and to try and

refocus onto other things.

Out of interest have you had help for your abuse in the past ?

[Guest Zee]

Difficult to say whether you have these thoughts because of the past events, as they are common in ocd regardless of whether you were

abused or not.

Of course you cannot rid yourself of the thoughts, but what we can work at , as you know is working at allowing it to be there and to try and

refocus onto other things.

Out of interest have you had help for your abuse in the past ?

Hello mate nice to hear from you,

Didnt have help for the abuse, feel i got over it to be honest just cant bare the thought that i could do something like that to someone.

Is it good exposure to allow my child to come in the bed again as ocd says "what if i do something but cant remember" and so im wondering maybe its best to not have him in the bed.

[Guest legend]

nope keep them in the bed , and what you have to work at is that you anticipate that you will or may get thoughts, and allow the anxiety

to rise, etc, but don't work at trying to rid yourself of it or to try and work out an answer .

sometimes if you speak to people re past abuse that can also help in treating the ocd as well, but if you feel that you've overcome that then

theres no need to. ?

[Guest Zee]

thank you Legend i was hoping you would respond as i know you have been through ocd hell and come out of the other side. I'll carry on doing what im doing, im off meds now too which im glad about - i found them helpful in the beginning but later on found they got in the way and off getting better.

[Guest legend]

Youre welcome zee.

Avoidance doesn't work at all. Keep perservering. It will and does get easier

onwards and upwards

legend