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OCD and starting a family


Guest xSandyx

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Guest xSandyx

Hi

I've been married for a year and a half and at some point we would like to have children. However as there are more and more nieces and nephews around us, I am realising that being a parent is very stressful! And I'm worried my OCD will get worse and I will be a bad parent because if it. I have checking and washing compulsions, both things that would be made worse by having a child (nappy changing, germs, checking they are breathing to name a few) plus the fact that parents always worry about their children so I would be more anxious than I am already and I don't know if I could do it! Plus being tired makes everything worse! I do want to have a child, but I'm getting more and more worried about how I would deal with it and it's getting me down.

Has anyone else had this worry and overcome it?

Sandy

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Guest AJ45

Hi, Sandy. You are right that having children gives a whole new dimension to OCD. The advantage you have and you have to view it as such, is that you are aware of your checking and washing compulsions and as such, need to work to ensure that you do not let the OCD have control. You could try CBT in order to be aware of how to control the issues you have. Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions and life changing, but if "we would like to have children" is how you feel then you go for it - it is workable. If your husband is aware of your OCD, then team effort all round!!

I am not sure how comfortable you would feel with opening up to health care professionals during your decision making, it maybe they would be able to support you.

It would be fair to say that I expect most parents go through the "checking they are breathing, nappy changing (yuk), and germs" issues, what you have to do is learn to separate OCD from being a Mum...CBT...... Even though I have OCD, I still remember with fondness the projectile poo an experiance not to be missed OCD or not!!!!!!!!!!

Have fun :love:

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Guest MFortunato

I really hope the best for you and I know you will be such a great mother. Don't let ocd control you. You were ment to have a child to care for and that's what you will be doing. Definitely look into cbt maby first. An idea is maby doing something around the baby changing area in the restroom or something in that sort. It will be hard but worth everything.

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Guest Icicle

I always wanted children, but knew that my anxiety would be unbearable if I had a child - I worry about people I hardly know keeping safe nevermind my own child that I'm programmed to protect! It was a surprise when I fell pregnant, I don't think I would have ever gotten to a place where I felt I could cope with kids. My ocd did get much worse due to pregnancy and then having a child, however I got treatment in the form of CBT, ERP and eventually tablets and I am now in a better place than I have been in my whole life. The treatment was hard, but made all the difference. I cannot imagine my life without my 2 children, they are my world, if I went back in time I wouldn't change a thing:)

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I won't lie it definitely made my ocd and anxiety worse (and still does) and eventually caused the break up of me and his mum but I love him to bits still and want to get better for him so I can be a better dad.

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Guest Chez

My ocd has definatly became worse having a child x It is hard work without ocd and double with it x I don't have much time to play with my daughter as I would like due to it x I wouldn't want this to put you off having children but because you haven't got any yet you can start to get help first before little one comes along x

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Guest Clematis

It is a good idea to get regular therapy scheduled while pregnant and after with someone who knows your ocd history. Increase appts as you get closer to giving birth and after so someone can be ready to guide you througj it. Just having awareness of your disease and its affects are helpful. Some mums dont know they have ocd until after baby and think theyve gone mad. You can do it you just need to be ready with help in the wings :)

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I'm not going to lie OCD is tough enough as it is . Having a child and OCD is a whole new ball game BUT they are worth it and I love them to bits :-) and hey when times are tough it gives you a real good reason to fight ! If it's something you really want then never let your OCD stop that otherwise you have let it win. You do need to be realistic though and know that your hormones may increase OCD you should have a proper relapse plan in place and a good support network . Good luck xxx

Edited by mummyoftwogirls
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It can work both ways. Some days its hard with OCD, especially as they grow up and want to be more independant. Other times, it makes you want to be a better parent for them and try to live a 'normal' a life as possible, hard as it can be but you do learn to give and take for the sake of them. I wish you all the best.

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